Parody lyrics requested: Oooo… my bishop got run over by Ratzinger

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

… seminarians would on Tuesday evenings pile into cars and drive geographically short distance, but ecclesiologically vast gulf, from the St. Paul Seminary to the great Church of St. Agnes, in which rectory the now late Msgr. Richard Schuler was pastor. 

The door was always open and the conversation was amazing.  We were all at once edified and able to vent.

For a time, one of the participants was one Tim Ferguson, who is the official WDTPRS parody song writer.  His was the composition of O Come, O Come Liturgical Blue.

Under my recent rant against blue vestments for Advent (linked above), someone mentioned another of Mr. Ferguson’s parodies, which I am delighted to reproduce here by request.  It was originally written in honor of a now deceased bishop who wasn’e exactly on the right side of issues, so it has been slightly altered: nihil de mortuis, after all.

Sung to the tune of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

O my bishop got run over by Ratzinger,
coming home from Rome one Christmas Eve.
You may say there’re no such things as dogmas;
but as for me and Joseph, we believe.
 
He ordained too many women
and we told him of their plan,
but he went off without a cassock
and he took the next flight to the Vatican.
 
when we found him the next morning
at the Holy Office door,
he was wearing a biretta,
and was prefect of the Vatican book store.
 
O my bishop….
 
The Cathedral’s a disaster,
without him they’re in a tizz,
since he’s in Rome selling postcards
no one knows just were the tabernacle is.
 
the lay ministers are wailing,
and the priests are dressed in black –
but without their Roman collars,
‘cuz the Sisters all refuse to give them back.
 
O my bishop…

 

 

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Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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11 Responses to Parody lyrics requested: Oooo… my bishop got run over by Ratzinger

  1. Jeremy says:

    A good laugh – Just what the doctor ordered for this student!

  2. stgemma0411 says:

    When I was in seminary, we had multiple songs that we parodied.

    Precious body, Precious blood, being one.

    Take me out to the Eucharist (with the music from take me out to the ballgame).

    O sacred head surrounded (done to the music of yellow rose of texas)

    One bed, two bodies (The co-habitation song, as we called it, sung to One bread, one body)

    And the always favorite “Only Q”, done to the music of “Only You”

    And numerous others. I might be swayed to reveal the lyrics to Take me out to the Eucharist and Precious Body, Precious blood. Unfortunately…it will forever change your perception of the song. I have friends who can’t help but think of the lyrics, now, whenever they hear the various songs.

  3. UST Alumnus says:

    Sorry, I do not see the humor in any of this.

  4. Maria says:

    HAHA! thanks for posting the song, Father, that’s the best laugh I’ve had in a while.

  5. James says:

    Reading this I was reminded of a parody of a great Protestant hymn, “The Church’s One Foundation,” which I learned from a group of seminarians about ten years ago.

    Our Church has no foundation
    And fat old Henry’s dead
    If you’re looking for doctrine,
    Look to Rome instead.
    We’re high; we’re low; we’re ‘tween,
    Yes, even in-between!
    But if it’s beliefs you’re looking for,
    they’ve never been seen.

  6. Fr Ó Buaidhe says:

    UST Alumnus:

    I think I can see where your coming from in not being able to see the humour. As a former parody writer in seminary with a literary corpus to rival Shakespeare (in quantity alone needless to say!) I know how difficult it is to share the ‘in’ humour with those who weren’t ‘in there’ with me. In the near totalitarian environment of the three seminaries I had the displeasure to be in, rational objection to the anti-Catholic policies of the regime was not possible for anyone who wanted to be ordained. No support would ever be forthcoming from the bishops either. It seems to me, thinking back quite a number of years, that parody and related humour was one of the few avenues available to us that could be made to function as a pressure valve. In our defence, I have to say we never descended to irreverence: it was irreverence we were attacking. I notice that Fr Z also mentioned in his post that the presbytery he and his friends visited also gave them the opportunity “to vent.” The two are closely related.

    I would never want to exaggerate how unCatholic, unjust and downright screaming awful seminary was for my friends and me who tried to remain orthodox while receiving a counter-orthodox tertiary education, on the other hand I cannot deny that they were the worst years of my life.

    The question occurs to me: how much parodying is there in seminaries of the FSSP, ICKSP etc.? I’ll bet, not much, and what there is will have a totally different orientation.

  7. Esther says:

    Oh Fr. Z! I love it!

  8. pattif says:

    Can anyone give us the rest of the words of ‘Go, the Mass is ended, in nineteen sixty-four’, please?

  9. Guy Power says:

    Perhaps one of the parody experts can take a go at my rough draft?

    Blue Vestments
    (tune: Blue Velvet)

    He wore blue vestments
    Blue!!! Not purple for Advent that was right
    Wronger than wrong, but he would fight
    From the ambo

    He wore blue vestments
    Blue!!! I cannot believe my eyes
    Perhaps Father heard our sighs
    We prevailed

    I grabbed the blue vestments tightly
    Watching the bonfire grow
    Entranced as the flame burned brightly
    I flung them in, nothing was left but ashes of
    Blue vestments

    So in my heart there’ll always be
    Precious and warm, a bonfire memory
    Through the years
    And I still can see blue vestments
    burning through my tears
    =========

    Thanks!

  10. michigancatholic says:

    The chorus will be a classic. YOu have to sing it to get the full effect of it. I laughed and laughed. Thank you, Fr. Z.