You have to love a place named…

19 Comments

1. Tim Ferguson says:

   3 August 2009 at 8:37 AM

   Melinda was a young girl who loved puppies, rainbows and butterflies. She would have loved horses too, but her father, a kindly man, once told her that they were too poor to own horses. So she respectfully sublimated her equine affections. She and her puppy, Scooterpie, loved to frolic on the beach at Castle Danger, and pretend that the seashells were gifts left behind by the gentle merfolk who lived in the lake. She would collect them and tie them in a bag around Scooterpie’s neck when they trudged back home, hearing her mother’s call for lunch echo across the water.

   Melinda, her mother, father, and Scooterpie lived a blissful existence of happiness and sunshine all summer long at the shores of Castle Danger, frolicking and laughing every day. Years later, Melinda would remark to her children that the summer at Castle Danger was the most blissful time of her childhood – a summer of true and unadulterated happiness.
2. medievalist says:

   3 August 2009 at 9:08 AM

   The feared armies of the foe, which, although hidden for so long, recently had gathered their strength, sallied forth from Castle Danger. Hereunto, the world had been tranquil and unperturbed, caring to place only the most token yet vigilant of guards at the gates of the Castle, wherein the few mad adherents of the foe had been confined lest they incite discord.

   Through the mist, today, however, the enemy was seen to have awoken. For some time, rumours had quietly scurried to the ears of those now ancient and tired guards who, dutifully, had sounded their warning cries, but to deaf ears. Now the world took notice. As the foe came through the gloam, with gleaming standards and streaming banners, the strains of their ineffeble war-cries – in a terrifying tongue that the defenders had never learned – reached the advance line: “In hoc signo vinces!”; “Deus vult!”; and the signal that, today, their captain rode with them: “Summorum Pontificum!”
3. John Enright says:

   3 August 2009 at 9:58 AM

   It was a dark and dreary day . . . Wait, I think that’s taken already!
4. gloriainexcelsis says:

   3 August 2009 at 10:08 AM

   Somehow, Barbara Cartland comes to mind! Sorry! I couldn’t resist. My mind takes unexpected turns early in the morning. I need another cup of coffee.
5. Tim Ferguson says:

   3 August 2009 at 10:10 AM

   To the tune of “Secret Agent Man” as sung by Johnny Rivers

   There’s a priest who lives by Castle Danger,
   Known as Fr. Z by friend and stranger,
   He’s quick with a retort, from Lewis and from Short,
   Odds are he’ll be saying Mass in Latin.

   Father Zuhlsdorf man, Father Zuhlsdorf man,
   They’ve given you a website and a pulpit to the world

   Some priests love guitars and some love schism,
   But Fr. Z won’t look through either prism,
   His hermeneutic is, you see,
   Just continuity,
   Odds are he’s just finished Lauds in Latin.

   Father Zuhlsdorf man, Father Zuhlsdorf man,
   They’ve given you a website and a pulpit to the world

   —— lead guitar ——

   Father Zuhlsdorf man, Father Zuhlsdorf man,
   They’ve given you a website and a pulpit to the world

   Chantin’ in a Roman chapel one day,
   Ranting at a London blognic next day,
   The lib’rals cringe and gripe,
   But he knows how to cook tripe,
   Odds are penjing’s soaking up some Latin.

   Father Zuhlsdorf man, Father Zuhlsdorf man,
   They’ve given you a website and a pulpit to the world

   Father Z’s the man…
6. JoeGarcia says:

   3 August 2009 at 10:16 AM

   I just have Firesign Theatre stuck in my mind now.
7. mhittle says:

   3 August 2009 at 10:27 AM

   Castle Danger is where I have to meet the Bishop to tell him about the liturgical abuses in my parish!
8. Jonathan says:

   3 August 2009 at 11:06 AM

   “He’s quick with a retort, from Lewis and from Short”

   Hahahaha!!!
9. Londiniensis says:

   3 August 2009 at 11:08 AM

   There actually is a novel with a name that’s almost the same. It starts:

   It was at the close of an early spring day, when nature, in a
   cold province of Scotland, was reviving from her winter’s sleep,
   and the air at least, though not the vegetation, gave promise of
   an abatement of the rigour of the season, that two travellers,
   whose appearance at that early period sufficiently announced
   their wandering character, which, in general, secured a free
   passage even through a dangerous country, were seen coming
   from the south-westward, within a few miles of the Castle of
   Douglas, and seemed to be holding their course in the direction
   of the river of that name, whose dale afforded a species of
   approach to that memorable feudal fortress.

   And the author is … ? Clues in the setting and the language.
10. patrick_f says:

    3 August 2009 at 12:27 PM

    That can’t be the real name LOL almost sounds like “Castle ARGHHHHH!!!!” In holy grail. Brilliant!!
11. patrick_f says:

    3 August 2009 at 12:39 PM

    Ahh..I missed the point..this is like an RPG on one of the gaming sites. I thought there was strictly humor involved

    here Goes

    Amidst the fog and rocky crags of England, lays a formidable fortress. Overlooking a murky loch, nesteled in the country side amidst trees and hills.

    One a great bastion of learning, now it has been left in disrepair. Ever since Henry had his “tantrum”, it has been declining, till all that was left was a lone curator, who went by a single letter, “Z”.

    :D
12. Fr. John Zuhlsdorf says:

    3 August 2009 at 1:49 PM

    ALL: Renowned blogger Jimmy Akin sent me a note, part of which I must share:

    Also, you know where they worship at Castle Danger, right? . . . Chapel Perilous. It’s right by Cape Fear.
13. Thomas G. says:

    3 August 2009 at 2:42 PM

    Londiniensis – “Castle Dangerous”, perchance, by Sir Walter Scott?
14. Orville says:

    3 August 2009 at 3:21 PM

    It was late in the afternoon, people had started leaving their offices with a look of actual determination shown on their faces for the first time that day…they were going to go home.
    One man stayed behind and watched those heading for home from his 3rd floor office in Vatican City.
    “Sheep” he mutters to himself. “Soon you will all be goats”. He packed up his brief case which contained the culmination of his work.
    His work was simply called “New Rite” but it contained the ruin of most things visible. he had labored long and hard to get to this point of his life and now came the moment where he had to present it to his mentors.
    He hurriedly finished packing with small beads of sweat begining to appear on his forehead. He was nervous. “What will they think?” “Will it bring about what we most desire?” These thought pounded his mind over and over. He scurried out the door and headed for Castle Danger.
15. Londiniensis says:

    3 August 2009 at 3:22 PM

    Well done, Thomas G. ! I remember reading an abridged and heavily illustrated version as a child – but somehow have never seemed to want to read the actual thing.
16. Thomas G. says:

    3 August 2009 at 3:36 PM

    Londiniensis – yes, I read Castle Dangerous as a “Classics Illustrated” comic book when I was a wee lad – found it fascinating. It’s a shame those Classics Illustrated comics went out of print – they were a wonderful way to introduce book-allergic youngsters like myself to the great classics.
17. irishgirl says:

    4 August 2009 at 9:44 AM

    Brilliant, Tim Ferguson! I’d sing it to myself here in the library, but I’m listening to my CD of ‘The Priests’…well, it IS the Feast of St. Jean-Marie Vianney, after all…and I can’t ‘multitask’ music-wise!
18. irishgirl says:

    4 August 2009 at 11:09 AM

    Londiniensis-that opening line from Scott has got to be one of the longest I’ve ever seen!

    Heehee….
19. Londiniensis says:

    4 August 2009 at 5:55 PM

    Thomas G. – someone else who remembers Classics Illustrated! Apart from Castle Dangerous, I read With Fire and Sword (Sienkiewicz), Lorna Doone and The Three Musketeers, the latter three of which I read “properly” since. Also, in England, there was a comic called “Topper” which on its back page used to serialise books: ten colour illustrations, with dense text under each picture. I remember even now Rob Roy, Kidnapped, Catriona, King Solomon’s Mines, Alan Quatermain, Oliver Twist. There may well have been more – I have hazy recollections of Ivanhoe and the Black Arrow, but I probably read those “neat”. Excellent seed corn for the fertile, over-active and impatient young mind.

    Irishgirl – yes, puts Henry James to shame!

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