A wine that will make you weep real tears

You know that feeling when you get shampoo or soap in your eyes and can’t get it out? How you tear up and wait for the discomfort to stop?

Even worse… if you get it in your mouth?

That describes my sad encounter with this wine.

This wine could perhaps dye an old Green Bay Packer or NY Giants jersey Viking purple… this wine could perhaps soften the hands of old Madge, but it will still taste just like dish soap.

I have used it to clean the in-drain disposal with some lemon peels.

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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21 Responses to A wine that will make you weep real tears

  1. frleo says:

    I’ll watch out for it and leave it at the store :)

  2. Oh, man, that’s terrible! And given how many wines from that region are apparently very good and very tasty, it’s horrible that you got such a bad bottle!

    To those who don’t know:

    “Lacrima di Morro d’Alba” is the name of the wine and the grape variety it’s made from, which is only grown in one region.

    “Lucchetti” is the name of the winemaker.

    Hate the maker, not the grape!

  3. edwardo3 says:

    Fr. Z,

    My sympathies for your loss, but at least you were able to find a good to come from it in cleaning the disposal.

  4. When I like a wine, I say it. When I don’t….

  5. I laughed so hard reading this review just now my children asked me what was the matter.

    Thank you, Father.

  6. seanl says:

    The saddest sight is a wine gone wrong.

  7. MargaretMN says:

    I think I would pass on it just based on the name. Tears of the Moor of Alba? Maybe he wept because the wine turned out so badly.

  8. catholicmidwest says:

    Perhaps you’ve found out the answer to an old mystery–why it’s called “lacrima” which means “tears.” That would’ve stopped me right there.

  9. Reginald Pole says:

    Perhaps you’ve found out the answer to an old mystery—why it’s called “lacrima” which means “tears.” That would’ve stopped me right there.

    Comment by catholicmidwest — 14 November 2009 @ 2:02 am

    And yet Lacryma Christi del Vesuvio Bianco is simply delightful.

  10. :-D Love your review, Father! Perhaps you could be a guest reviewer on http://tv.winelibrary.com/

  11. DominiSumus says:

    Fr. Z, that sounds so horrible. Hope you washed the taste away with something truly delicious.

  12. irishgirl says:

    Why did it taste bad? Maybe you got a bottle past its expiration date?

    Well, you did use it for something good…cleaning the drain disposal.

  13. baymedlevel says:

    Might this be the wine equivalent to “The Tablet”?

  14. Re: name

    I think in this case, it’s “morro” as in “rock”. White Rock or Silver Rock. :)

    Re: when wines go bad

    A lot of times, it’s because something went wrong with the bottling, and Bad Mold got in. Sometimes it’s because the wine sat in the heat or got too cold, and the corks moved. (That could be a distributor or shipper problem.)

    Sometimes it’s because the cork crumbled into the bottle — but corky wine is pretty easy to define. Sometimes wine needs to settle after a long trip, too. But honestly, the level of pure vileness that Father encountered is almost certain to be something physically wrong with the wine. It doesn’t sound like it was really wine anymore.

    Wine that’s “past its expiration date” just gets really vinegary or loses flavor. It’s not bad, just not drinkable unless you like to drink wine vinegar. You can cook with vinegary wine.

  15. Eric says:

    Sounds like my kinda stuff.
    Thanks for the tip Father.

  16. Charivari Rob says:

    Is that the new 7-11 house label I’ve heard about on the radio?

  17. mcford1 says:

    An even better use for a bad wine–get yourself a small oak cask and a vinegar starter (called a “mother”), both available at gourmet food stores, and make vinegar! Also good for when you can’t finish the last couple inches of wine in a bottle or glass, just toss it in the barrel. In a few weeks you’ll have the richest, most flavorful vinegar you’ve had, for cooking or salad dressings. The vinegar you make is probably worth much more than the bad wine you used to make it with.

  18. mcford: You know… that is a goo idea. I used to make herbal vinegars and have gotten away from doing so.

    Good suggestion!

  19. Well, I wouldn’t use it if it really is moldy. Unless you like moldy vinegar. ;)

  20. Agnes says:

    As I ask the kids, Would you like some cheese with that whine?

    My condolences. Perhaps you could start your car with it.

  21. chironomo says:

    You would not be the first to have a bad bottle of good wine….

    Sometimes things just go wrong in the process and…well, you get drain cleaner.