My Favorite Things… revisited

Years ago, long before the existence of WDTPRS, the official WDTPRS Parodohymnist – in the dark days of seminary – worked up new words to a tune familiar to all.

To the Sound of Music tune "My Favorite Things":

Dalmatics on deacons and cassocks on priests,
habits on nuns and immovable feasts,
bishops in soutanes with big, gaudy rings -
these are a few of my favorite things.
 
Devotions to Mary, novenas and stations,
fasting and penance on Days of Rogation,
High Mass and Low Mass and papal blessings –
these are a few of my favorite things.
 
Rosaries and incense and fiddleback vestments,
BINGO on Mondays with homemade refreshments,
statues of angels with halos and wings –
these are a few of my favorite things.
 
When RENEW strikes!
When the rail’s gone!
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply pop into a Solemn High Mass
and then I don’t feel so bad!

I think a certain SSPX Bishop would not object to that correction of the morally corrupting movie tune.

I learned now that Julie Andrews appeared at Radio City Music and sang a new version of "My Favorite Things” for a benefit for AARP.

Here are the new lyrics she used:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillac’s and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things..

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Apparently she received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.

It is good to keep ourselves in perspective.

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11 Responses to My Favorite Things… revisited

  1. GirlCanChant says:

    TLM is an espresso shot to the soul.

  2. Maltese says:

    I saw a bumper sticker on an old pickup truck being driven by a crust-hardened old feller which read: “Growing old is NOT for sissies!” Lol!

  3. Animadversor says:

    It would appear, at least, that Miss Andrews did not in fact sing this charming, though slightly distressing, parody: http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/andrews.asp.

  4. Consilio et Impetu says:

    Rev. and Dear Father,

    I hope you don’t mind; I added a couple of additional stanzas to your work.

    My Favorite Things… revisited
    To the Sound of Music tune “My Favorite Things”:

    Dalmatics on deacons and cassocks on priests,
    habits on nuns and immovable feasts,
    bishops in soutanes with big, gaudy rings -
    these are a few of my favorite things.

    Devotions to Mary, novenas and stations,
    fasting and penance on Days of Rogation,
    High Mass and Low Mass and Papal Blessings –
    these are a few of my favorite things.

    Rosaries and incense and fiddleback vestments,
    BINGO on Mondays with homemade refreshments,
    statues of angels with halos and wings –
    these are a few of my favorite things.

    When RENEW strikes!
    When the rail’s gone!
    When I’m feeling sad,
    I simply pop into a Solemn High Mass
    and then I don’t feel so bad!

    Say Mass in Latin, face the Liturgical East,
    Say the Black, Do the Red; not what you please,
    Wear a biretta, give Glory to God
    We’re in this together, this thing called Jihad!

    Be proud to be Catholic, respect our traditions,
    First Fridays and Saturdays, don’t forget Benediction.
    Kneel down and pray to our God everyday,
    Intercede through our B.V.M.; pray an Ave.

    When RENEW strikes!
    When the rail’s gone!
    When I’m feeling sad,
    I simply pop into a Solemn High Mass
    and then I don’t feel so bad!

  5. K. Marie says:

    Can I print this out and submit it to my parish’s music program?(It would be a massive improvement over the guitar solos and nonsensical modern hymns we have now)

  6. Tim Ferguson says:

    Among my favorite memories is a visit I made to St. Paul in the summer of 2006 for priestly ordinations. After High Mass at St. Agnes, I sat with Msgr. Schuler on the old sedilia near the elevator, catching up – it had been several years since I had last seen him. He asked me to sing this song for him, and smiled and laughed throughout. It was the last time I saw him, and I’m glad to have made him smile so broadly.

    The old days of the seminary were indeed dark in many ways, but there were definitely some good times, with some very, very fine Catholic gentlemen.

  7. Thanks, Tim. I enjoyed my stay with you at Msgr. Schuler’s rectory many years ago. He is a great example of a “man of the Church”, “a priestly priest”. May the Lord give Him eternal light, peace and rest! Amen.

  8. frjim4321 says:

    I believe that Miss Andrews no longer sings since her vocal cords were damaged in a botched surgery a few years back; I believe she had turned her outstanding talents to writing poetry.

  9. Ingatius says:

    What a lovely little re-writing. There are, of course, lots of these trad parodies going round, from ‘Glory, Glory, to the Council’ and ‘I want an Old-Fasioned Mass’ to a total rewriting of that traditional English folk-song, ‘The Vicar of Bray.’

  10. AnAmericanMother says:

    Ingatius, there were parodies of “The Vicar of Bray” before the ink was dry on the first broadsheet. It lends itself to infinite variation . . . .

    There is a website (now sadly defunct but accessible via cache or the Way Back Machine) called The Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas, which has a long section devoted to parodies of trashy hymns.

    You can access it here. Save the parodies while you have the chance . . . .

  11. Catholic girl Kate says:

    Delightful !! Made my day.