In the past – quite a long time ago now, actually – I wrote some short stories about a fictional place with the parishes, in this deanery at least, of St. Ipsidipsy (in Tall Tree Circle), St. Fidelia (in Benedictburg), St. Ineffabilis (in Trauttown olim St. Idealia), and expanding with urban sprawl, St. Abusiva (in Rogerville).
It may be necessary to merge some parishes in the diocese in a long program and study called Omnia Mea Tua. Of course St. Fidelia doesn’t have a problem because of their fidelity to the Magisterium and chin-out approach of the pastor there. But these other, iffy places… well….
His Excellency the local bishop (Diocese of Black Duck) is considering name suggestion for the new parish and needs community input, dialogue… you know… feedback, and all that.
As you know, the churches keep their own names, which can’t be changed except with permission of Rome. The new parish on the other hand, can have some new-fangled name. You know by know how these things work, probably through hard experience. There is a long study, with an ominous… er um.. nurturing name to distract people from the fact that their parish is about to be nuked, and then the whole thing is renamed with some generic sounding title.
The existing parish committees have offered a few names via the Dean, including:
- Jesus Happy Lamb And Friend (… Catholic Community)
- Jesus The Helper
- Sing A New Community Into Being
- Engendering Togetherness
- Welcoming Hug Ministry
- and … I AM There For You
The young priest who will be the pastor of the combined parish, and we are not quite sure how many communities will have to be merged, has indicated the new direction the new “community” might take by proposing a few new names of his own, including:
- King of Fearful Majesty (… Catholic Community)
- Loaded Down With Opprobrium
- Holy Mary Virgin of Virgins
- Summorum Pontificum
- Mary Mournful Mother Weeping
- and… My Fault My Fault My Most Grievous Fault
His Excellency may be open to a few new names, after which there could be a poll.