Fortune Cookie Report: BLASPHEMY

BLASPHEMY!

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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28 Responses to Fortune Cookie Report: BLASPHEMY

  1. Random Friar says:

    Pelagianicious!

  2. Alice says:

    @Random Friar, where’s the “like” button?

  3. JMody says:

    Congratulations and heart-felt best wishes to you, Father Z, to have received such an opportunity at this festive time of year — you are now among the ranks of the Professionally Offended, and with the right representation, the world can be, through the wonder of our legalism-over-substance court system, your oyster!

  4. pinecone says:

    Do they even KNOW what omnipotent means?

  5. Speravi says:

    It must be a typo. Surely they meant impotent.

  6. Supertradmum says:

    Shades of the Gang of Four…

  7. Mike says:

    As Prof. Paul Griffiths would say, that cookie’s performatively incoherent.

  8. Supertradmum says:

    Sounds like the beginning of a song from the Peking Opera during the “thought revolution” pushed by the government in the so-called Cultural Revolution of 1966-1976. Just imagine a thousand young Chinese women in grey Mao pajamas singing this while waving red flags…

  9. Charles E Flynn says:

    Clearly not a “grace builds on nature” cookie.

  10. anilwang says:

    “Persistence and determination are omnipotent”

    Depends on the sense of the words. Scripture often uses terms in this literal but not literalistic sense. When scripture says “all” it often doesn’t mean “all”, unless you believe Enoch and Elijah actually died and Mary was a sinner.

    Persistence in what? Determination of what? Omnipotent in what?

    Depending on the sense, it might mean nothing more than: Philippians 4:13 and Matthew 17:20 .

  11. Inkstain says:

    Perhaps their source for Platitude cookies is out on Christmas holiday and they had to resort to Blasphemy cookies for the time being.

  12. Darren says:

    Persistence alone, or determination alone… ….but persistence AND determination? It should read “persistence and determination together, THAT COMBINATION alone is omnipotent”. Except, it still is wrong.

    I had a cookie yesterday, with the fortune reading: “This person’s love is just and true. You may rely on it.” I was wondering, “who, who can it be?” But then, I realized, the person in question is the Second Person of the Holy Trinity… indeed, that cookie fortune – when understood – IS true! (It was just a leftover cookie, left by others who had ordered Chinese for lunch)

  13. MyBrokenFiat says:

    I don’t know what’s funnier – the title of this entry, or the commentary. Ha.

    I <3 you folks. :)

    Brilliant. I hope it was delicious! Or did it go up in flames as you touched it? ;)

  14. pseudomodo says:

    Omnipotent…

    Wasn’t he a pharoh in the 3rd dynasty?

  15. yatzer says:

    Perhaps, Father, for the sake of your blood pressure and digestion, you should leave off the Chinese food or at least the little fortune/platitudinous/ blasphemy cookies that go with it.

  16. digdigby says:

    Father Z has his pet peeves. Poor, little, fortune cookies and he sounds like a Chick pamphlet on Harry Potter.

  17. catholicmidwest says:

    It’s a fortune cookie! LOL
    Actually, that sentiment isn’t very far from Chinese thought anyway. Fortunately, they don’t generally act all the time the way they sound.

  18. BarefootPilgrim says:

    How does that work? If it’s persistence AND determination, it’s not alone…

  19. benedetta says:

    If that fortune is true Fr. Z then the movie What About Bob is a movie charged with divine characteristics…

  20. rebecca76 says:

    Are the secular humanists coming up with their own Solas?

  21. Jon says:

    Blasphemy.

    Chinese food. Never did like the stuff. Now when my LI-born wife wants to drag me off for another dinner of mooshoo-mush, I can tell her to forget it, no blasphemous cookies for me!

    Fr. Z's Sour Grapes Award

  22. jmgazzoli says:

    We declare this cookie excommunicate and anathema! We cast it into the outer darkness! WE JUDGE IT DAMNED WITH THE DEVIL AND HIS FALLEN ANGELS AND ALL THE REPROBATE TO ETERNAL FIRE AND EVERLASTING . . . PAIN!

  23. tianzhujiao says:

    I agree with you Father….BLASPHEMY!
    Anyhow, it is only a cookie….not even a Chinese cookie, as “fortune cookies” are unknown to Chinese outside the USA.

  24. Burn the cookie at the stake!

  25. Andrew says:

    In order to avoid the sin of superstition I never read the paper messages inside a fortune cookie.

  26. catholicmidwest says:

    Andrew,

    I understand what you’re saying, but a fortune cookie can’t even begin to be a temptation toward superstition for me. They’re beyond dumb, and they don’t even taste good. The messages are usually so inane, I don’t even open them, because I usually have a good book with me when I eat Chinese food and even I, reader that I am, can only read so much in a day.

    Tip from a chinese food lover: Forget the fortune cookies. Eat the almond cookies from the counter up at the front of the store. (Yeah, all Chinese food joints are the same, admit it.) They’re much better.

  27. Trad Catholic Girl says:

    I had Chinese food last night -my fortune cookie said, “You will gain much knowledge through clarity of speech.” Huh, I guess in my case that would be omniscience vs. omnipotence.

  28. MarkDes says:

    The fortune cookie writers are digging deep if they’re quoting Calvin Coolidge now.