Democrat Convention Schedule. No… wait… could this be a joke?

I offer the following not because I would rather see the corpse of Millard Fillmore defeat Pres. Obama in the 2012 election, but because it is pretty funny.

It could just be a gag, however.  It doesn’t schedule praise for on-demand tax-payer funded abortion as the new sacrament of the party.

From It Makes Sense Blog which I found via Twitter:

HOT OFF THE PRESSES – DEMORATS [sic] CONVENTION SCHEDULE
September 2nd, 2012 | Author: The Meister

2012 Democratic Convention Schedule – Charlotte , NC

  • 4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
  • 4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
  • 4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by Whoopie Goldberg
  • 4:15 PM – Tribute to George Soros for his help in creating and financing the Democratic Platform – Nancy Pelosi
  • 4:30 PM – Reading of the Democratic Platform – Nancy Pelosi XXXX Canceled. Will be passed without reading.
  • 4:30 PM – Tribute to the Occupy Wall Street movement for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment, and boost the economy. – Harry Reid
  • 4:45 PM – Jobs seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.” – Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson
  • 5:00 PM – Travel Seminar; “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime” – Michelle Obama.
  • 5:30 PM – “Family Values” Seminar – Eliot Spitzer (via Satellite)
  • 5:35 PM – Real Estate Bargains Seminar – Tony Rezko
  • 6:00 PM – Home Mortgage Seminar – Barney Frank
  • 6:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by George Clooney
  • 6:15 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
  • 6:30 pm – Kinder, Gentler Bombing Techniques – Bill Ayers
  • 6:45 PM – Paying Your Fair Share – Timothy Geitner
  • 7:00 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally
  • 7:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
  • 7:30 PM – Dramatized film re-enactment of Obama’s single handed capture of Osama Bin Laden – Michael Moore
  • 7:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangle
  • 7:50 PM – Commitment to US border security – Atty Gen Holder
  • 8:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by David Letterman
  • 8:15 PM – Media Seminar “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
  • 9:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers – Dem Natl Cmte Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
  • 9:15 PM – Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / Profiting with Green Investments – Al Gore
  • 10:00 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan
  • 10:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by Barbra Streisand
  • 10:15 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
  • 10:20 PM – Obama accepts Congressional Medal of Honor for Bin Laden capture
  • 10:25 PM – Obama accepts Greenpeace Hero Medal for instant cleanup of Gulf oil spill, and blocking of Keystone Pipeline
  • 10:30 PM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews
  • 10:45 PM – *** Break for installation of additional teleprompters ***
  • 11:00 PM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
  • 11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
  • 12:00 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing (Food stamps distributed to all delegates as they leave.)
  • 1:00 AM – Convention Hall cleared and cleaned
  • 3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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24 Responses to Democrat Convention Schedule. No… wait… could this be a joke?

  1. Giuseppe says:

    Happy Labor Day. I trust you saw this, Father Z. I suspect you will have a new job there! HERE

    [I posted on it.]

  2. Kathleen10 says:

    They forgot to mention that before, during, and after the convention the media will constantly proclaim it:
    HISTORIC
    GROUNDBREAKING
    PROFOUND
    RIVETING
    INSPIRING
    A TURNING POINT
    INNERVATING
    This is what they call it when Obama burps, so expect some superlatives for his actual comments.
    This is what they

  3. Kathleen10 says:

    oops. my sentence is dangling…

  4. wanda says:

    Late entry. The All-Star Abortion Loving Democratic Women’s Review starring HHS Secretary Sebelius, Nancy Pelosi, Cecille Richards, backed up by Secy Clinton and Barbara Mikulski with the big finale – Buy My Birth Control, I can’t afford it, I’m a poor Georgetown Law School Student, after all, starring Sandra Fluke. It’s quite a production number, don’t know where it fits in on the schedule, but it should be the headliner, really.

  5. Ben Yanke says:

    That end reminds me of a funny graphic I saw a while back.

  6. Phil_NL says:

    They forgot something else too:

    * Scratlantis: how to get ACORN back. (chair: Scratte. Real name to be announced when the Community-organizer-in-Chief signs a full pardon on the bankruptcy proceedings)

  7. Widukind says:

    how about?
    video recap of Nuns on the Bus Tour

  8. pfhawkins says:

    I am disturbed by the waving of the white flag entry. It implies that our military presence in those countries has been morally justifiable, and if continued would be a good thing. It also falsely implies that Obama is in any way keen to end those unconstitutionally-declared wars, which he seems not to be.

    I am probably reading a piece meant for humor too seriously. But it seems like just another instance of conservatives believing that U.S. military aggression is an unquestionable good.

  9. PA mom says:

    In a truth is stranger than fiction sense, the 2 hour Islamic prayer just BOGGLES my mind. Is that true? What happened to separation of Church and State? What will the Liberal news media do during this time?

  10. Scott W. says:

    Cue frjim’s tu quoque in 3…2…1…

  11. Midwest St. Michael says:

    As I was laughing out loud at Fr. Z’s “schedule” of the Democrat Convention, I described some of it to my wife and she said to me, “The real DNC may not be appropriate for children.”

    To which I replied, “Isn’t that the truth?”

    It is a sad, sad day when a mother of five can say this about a convention of a political party in our country.

    MSM

  12. Cristero says:

    Airing of Grievances ? We are nowhere NEAR Festivus….

  13. Pingback: Leaked Schedule for the DNC | From the Ordinary to the Extraordinary

  14. Dismas says:

    @4:30 – instead of Harry Reid’s tribute to Occupy Wall Street, I’m somewhat disappointed that Nancy Pelosi doesn’t instead fill Clint Eastwood’s chair with interviews of her White House spirit suffragist friends.

  15. Supertradmum says:

    Oh, I “heard” that the nine o’clock talk will be substituted by a surprise speaker-Vladimir Putin on how to de-weaponize a citizenry and how to suppress the printing and selling of Bibles.

  16. Jim says:

    In the meanwhile, for the entire duration of the DNC, a few blocks away, we have perpetual adoration of our Blessed Lord at Charlotte’s cathedral.

    http://www.stpatricks.org/
    Signup Link : http://www.signupgenius.com/go/20F0C44AFAD2CA20-vigil

    From the above link:
    ” This time of adoration and prayer will focus on petitions for our country, our leaders, and ourselves in atonement for our sins and for the future of our nation. Among these petitions are the right to live, unthreatened by government mandate, from natural conception to natural death, and for the freedom of conscience and the unhindered worship of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

    Bet no one heard about this one.. :-)

  17. JKnott says:

    I just returned from seeing
    2016: Obama’s America
    This man must not be elected.

  18. Supertradmum says:

    Of course, it most likely will not be shown here in GB.

  19. wanda says:

    Jim, I also noted on World Over that the archdiocese has hung banners asking that Marriage, Life, Family and Religious Liberty be protected, hung in very visible locations during the convention. Kudos to all there!

  20. Chick says:

    c’mon Fr. Z, you are better than this. Make a reasoned presentation, that should be more than enough.

  21. Southern Catholic says:

    Haha, that is funny. That is awesome Jim, thanks for the link!

  22. PostCatholic says:

    I was just notified by my cousin that her eight year old twins are part of the third grade class opening this convention with the Pledge of Allegiance. They’ve rehearsed a pledge to “the Flag” and not “Obama”, and Whoopi Goldberg is not a part of it. We’ll have to see if any other other prognostications above come true.

  23. PostCatholic says:

    Aww he was adorable. And by the way, the accretion “under God” wasn’t edited out.