Benedict XVI to change mind on women’s ordination? Have stranger things ever happened?

I picked this up from Eye Of The Tiber. I didn’t hear about this epoch-changing story in the MSM or the Catholic blogosphere, did you?

Hmmmm….  perhaps there is a conspiracy.

Former LCWR President’s Dynamic Speech May Change Pope’s Mind On Female Ordination

ROME––Former President of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, Pat Ferrell, delivered an electrifying speech yesterday to Pope Benedict XVI and top Church officials regarding the necessity of female priests. Many Vatican analysts now believe the speech will be the catalyst to female ordination. “It was one of the most insightful…one of the most profound talks since John Paul II gave the address that helped bring down communism,” an aide close to the Pontiff said, choking up. In an amateur video shot by one insider, Ferrell can be seen with tears in her eyes as she walks away from the podium after giving her address. The Pontiff, visibly moved by the passionate speech, stands with tears in his eyes and begins to clap, slowly. Gradually, his aides, one after another one, rise to their feet and begin to clap, louder and louder until the entire antechamber is filled with thunderous and uproarious shouts and whistles, as all begin to cheer, “Fe-rrell…Fe-rrell…Fe-rrell…”

I guess we all better make some adjustments.

I, for one, welcome our new female overlords.

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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59 Responses to Benedict XVI to change mind on women’s ordination? Have stranger things ever happened?

  1. RuralVirologist says:

    Is this not some sort of joke news story like over at the Onion?

  2. chantgirl says:

    LOL- It’s like the ending of a bad inspirational sports movie starring Danny DeVito or something.

  3. Sissy says:

    Well, I think it’s obvious that if ANYONE could change the Holy Father’s mind, it would certainly be Pat Ferrell. Q.E.D.

  4. mpalardy says:

    Hmmm… according to my calendar, April Fool’s Day was six months ago.

  5. Shhh! Might there not be a WDTPRS participant or two who will take this report seriously, thinking that … Well, yes, ordination of women might turn out to be open to discussion, after all. Why not give him (or her) a chance to weigh in, before ruining the fun.

  6. Sissy says:

    “Fer-rell, Fer-rell, Fer-rell” the Pope’s aides chanted……..I heard from someone who was there that they hoisted her upon their shoulders and carried her from the room in triumphant!

  7. JohnE says:

    And then she is lifted up on their shoulders and carried around the room while the Holy Father writes “A + + + + …” on the whiteboard.

  8. ChrisJ says:

    Wouldn’t that be ‘overladies’?

  9. Sissy says:

    To John E: Oh, so you’re contact saw it, too?? It must be true!

  10. StabatMater says:

    Just give her a veil! LOL Honestly– women had to uncover their heads BEFORE they started whining about being altar servers, EM of Communion, and so on… The fallen angels are working tirelessly to confuse us with adrogyny. This is a rampant heresy of our time. Get out your history books and read for the sake of the liturgy and the world!

    We were at a painful Novus “special Mass” with a Bishop last night. Lots of older baby boomer women with very short haircuts and bad polyeter pants stared at my daughter and I who were veiled. Two stares were of the “We don’t have to do that anymore, you silly girls,” patronizing kind. But most were filled with a sense of awe & fond remembrance of a beauty that has been lost in our culture.

    The old men looked at us in such an endearing way, longing for what has been lost. The days when women were women and men were men… How could anyone have thought this was a means to suppress women???

    My husband, who was NOT an instant fan of my veiling, later said to me, “Honey, you knew who you were as a woman of God in that pew far more than that Bishop knew who he was.” And after running the trail of “ministries,” I am so grateful to be FREE to be a woman in the pew with her children. If I don’t do that job the Church can’t continue either, and these sort of wackadoo feminists as in the article above are quite busy telling us that what we are doing is so worthless that we should abandon it and force ourselves into “the boys club” if we want our lives to have any sense of meaning and value. It is time to squash this garbage once and for all!!! I am woman is about to begin invoking an entirely different kind of roar from this momma bear!

    Traditions identify us clearly, and priestly identity is NECESSARY and ESSENTIAL to the Faith if it is to continue. And priests are MEN! May we be blessed to raise many good ones for the coming generation!!!!

  11. Clinton says:

    I’m surprised the report broke off before it mentioned the most astonishing part of
    Sister’s address– you know, when the heavens above the audience hall parted and a
    Voice was heard saying “Sister Pat, thank you for showing Me the way! What was I
    thinking all this time?”.

  12. JohnE says:

    Sissy, I didn’t even see your comment until after I had posted mine, so it MUST be true.

  13. robtbrown says:

    Another headline from the same site:

    SSPX Acolyte Stumbles During Offertory; Mass Deemed Invalid

  14. AnnAsher says:

    The space ships are waiting.

  15. wmeyer says:

    My own fave from the site:

    Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search of Misplaced Veils

  16. Sissy says:

    Clinton, they’ll include that part when they make the movie.

  17. Sissy says:

    robtbrown & wmeyer: Ya’ll missed the really big news over there:

    “Southbend, IN––Three years after Notre Dame invited Barack Obama to deliver the commencement speech to its graduating class, the university has now reportedly invited him to say Mass at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart. “We’d like to let our students and their parents know that we would never compromise our faith tradition,” Notre Dame President, Reverend John Jenkins, said Friday, “It is a simple show of Christian unity.”

  18. wmeyer says:

    Sissy, I did find it, after I posted. Oh, I do so want to assist at that Mass.

    Not!

  19. Sissy says:

    wmeyer, I think we should be allowed to concelebrate.

  20. Midwest St. Michael says:

    “I, for one, welcome our new female overlords.”

    Que Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBmueYJ0VhA

    MSM

  21. wmeyer says:

    Well, Sissy, of course! Given your new overlady status. ;)

  22. Sissy says:

    As a new overlady, I decree that you may assist, wmeyer.

  23. VexillaRegis says:

    Does anyone know if you can watch this ground breaking video somewhere? Hmm. Sigh.

  24. Matthew says:

    Was this followed by a liturgical dance and light hors d’oeuvres?

  25. Therese says:

    “And after running the trail of ‘ministries’, I am so grateful to be FREE to be a woman in the pew with her children. If I don’t do that job the Church can’t continue either…”

    Hurray!

    And I’m adding Eye of the Tiber to my blog reading list.

  26. Marcus de Alameda says:

    that’s it..this is the time we’ve all been waiting for..
    I want equality to celebrate Mass also and just skip the con-celebrate stuff.
    Lets get on with full equality ..Fe-rrell…Fe-rrell…Fe-rrell…

  27. pelerin says:

    Please tell me this is somebody dream.

  28. pelerin says:

    Have just discovered this is a tongue in cheek blog – can breathe again!

  29. eulogos says:

    The previous story is the one that grabbed me:

    New Archbishop Of San Francisco Overjoyed To See City’s Devotion To God’s Covenant With Noah
    (caption on a picture of people holding large rainbow flags.)

    Susan

  30. jessicahoff says:

    Does it depend on how you define the word ‘is’?

  31. Jerry says:

    A slightly late Spring Fool’s Day in the Southern hemisphere

  32. Manhattan Trid says:

    The Catholic Onion…..I love it.

  33. Late for heaven says:

    Maybe they were really chanting “fer-al, fer-al” ?

  34. wmeyer says:

    Well, Sissy, I am so honored that you would deign to permit me.

  35. Sissy says:

    wmeyer, I will have the new catalog of ultra-cool vestments rushed over to you posthaste. I have decided that the color scheme will be fuschia and lavender.

  36. wmeyer says:

    Sissy, I hope they will be suitably decorated with arcana in an inclusive, ecumenical spirit.

  37. Sissy says:

    wmeyer, I will magnaminously grant you the boon of choosing your own creative design; you’ll see that we overladies will be generous to our former oppressors.

  38. Sissy says:

    So long as you make sure there are some bunnies. I love bunnies.

  39. wmeyer says:

    In my best Lotte Lenya voice: I am overwhelmed.

  40. dspecht says:

    And Abf. Müller: “There is no struggle between the Holy See and this organization [LCWR]”

  41. Sissy says:

    ““There is no struggle between the Holy See and this organization [LCWR]”

    I hope that’s because the LCWR has been pinned.

  42. tioedong says:

    well, the LCWR was told by Barbara Marx Hubbard that they will join the New Agers when they all evolve to a higher power this December, so I don’t think we have to worry too much.

  43. Michelle F says:

    The LCWR had better hope their evolution occurs before the world ends this December (12-21-12), or they might find themselves holding the short end of the stick! :)

  44. joan ellen says:

    After seeing the shenanigans in Brazil, I thank you all for the light heartedness here.

  45. Sissy says:

    joan ellen said: “After seeing the shenanigans in Brazil, I thank you all for the light heartedness here.”

    My Momma taught me that you might as well laugh as cry!

  46. HighMass says:

    God HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE are with Blessed John Paul II NO WOMEN in the Priesthood or Diaconate! NEVER!

  47. Tantum Ergo says:

    Hey, I’m all for LWCR power! (gasoline’s way too expensive.)

  48. DIgoe says:

    It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Catholic priest or merely enslave him. One thing is for certain, they wymyn priests will soon be here. Simpsons reference, anyone?

  49. jmgazzoli says:

    Well, this reporter was possibly a little hasty earlier. He would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this Church and its male pontiff. It may not be perfect, but it’s still the best church we have.

    For now.

  50. The Egyptian says:

    If you READ all of the posts, (only about 3 pages) I believe you will find that this is the catholic version of the Onion, truly funny satire, but satire has to be based in some fact to be good

  51. kelmom says:

    You know, I have always wondered why women were not allowed to be priests. I definitely welcome this change (if it happens). [LOL! Not. Going. To. Happen. Cf. Ordinatio sacerdotalis.]

    ~Kellie

  52. flyfree432 says:

    It’s a joke Kellie.

    Even if the Pope himself tried to ordain a woman, the woman still would not be ordained any more than if I (a man) tried to marry another man, no marriage would take place. It is impossible by the very nature of the Sacrament.

  53. Sissy says:

    kelmom said : “You know, I have always wondered why women were not allowed to be priests. I definitely welcome this change (if it happens)”

    Kellie – you forgot to put the /sarc tag on your post.

  54. Jeanette says:

    No doubt that the ordination of a woman to any of the major or minor orders is impossible, but I think Fr. Z does a real disservice to his readers with blog posts like these. Those who are not familiar with Eye of the Tiber or The “catholic” Onion will not get that the news is not in earnest. Would it really hurt to introduce this with a disclaimer, especially for the part of the audience which does not read english as a mother language (and likely does not have the same experience of “catholic” blogosphere as the US and UK subjects)?

    I was very disappointed in this website to get a call alerting me to this post from a friend who was very upset over this post.

  55. mamajen says:

    I am the person who ran to look up “gullible” in the dictionary when my friend told me it wasn’t there, so it took me a moment. Very entertaining website–I like the content better than other Catholic parody sites I’ve come across.

    I desperately wished I could be a priest when I was growing up, but I never wished for women’s ordination–I wished I could have been born a boy. Observing the types of women who are attracted to power in the Church makes me grateful that we have the rules we do.

  56. Sissy says:

    Jeanette, anyone who read the post should have gotten the joke, because it’s over-the-top humor and not subtle at all. But if not, the first 3 or 4 comments all mentioned that it is a joke. The word “joke” appeared several times.

  57. The Masked Chicken says:

    Since I am an internationally recognized expert in humor theory (no, really – I have twenty-five years of paper presentations, publications in peer reviewed journals, and being a journal article reviewer), I just thought I would give this post the Chicken Seal of Approval.

    That being said, there is something in humor theory called, “joke competence,” which is the ability to recognize the incongruity in the joke text. Some people who are just visiting this site, are skimming, so, not reading the delicious comments, and not really well up on the teachings of the Church in this matter, might, I say, might, mistake this post for a bona fide reportage. Henry Edwards’s quip just came true with Kellie, above, who is, no doubt, mortified. Jokes are surrounded by what’s called a, “play frame,” and if you don’t see the frame, you might misinterpret the context.

    So, have a little compassion for those who a little bewildered…otherwise, I will complain to the overladies and they will have you whipped with a wet chapel veil and electrically communicated.

    The Chicken

  58. Sissy says:

    Chicken, my dear friend, is there ANYTHING you can’t do?? Not only are you our resident guru on sacred music, but now we learn you are a virtuoso of laugher?

    As a world-recognized (well, maybe only a wmeyer-recognized) overlady, I will send over the requested wet chapel veils to be distributed as needed.

  59. The Masked Chicken says:

    Chicken, my dear friend, is there ANYTHING you can’t do??

    I have yet to master the nose flute.

    Seriously, I know next to nothing about economics or politics – so I am eminently qualified to make comments.

    The Chicken