“McPenance”?

On a lighter note, this comes from the amusing Eye of the Tiber:

Wichita, KS––Reports out of The Church of the Most Holy Trinity in Wichita, Kansas are confirming that last week’s launch of their new drive-thru confessional was a complete success. “It’s an absolute blessing,” Church Pastor Father Donald Borland told Eye of the Tiber. “One day I was sitting in the confessional listening to this old man’s confessions, and all I could think about was how long this poor old man was standing in line. I remember I thought to my self, ‘Self, there’s gotta be a better way to do this than to have people standing in line for 20 minutes.’” So began the idea to create the first drive-thru confessional. “I love it, and it’s so simple,” Stephanie Randal, a college sophomore said. “You drive up to a menu with a list of all types of sins and combo sins, and you just tell the priest which number or numbers you did on the menu. No chit-chat, no nothing. I remember I told him I committed a number four super-sized, and he asked me to please drive forward. That’s it. You drive up to him at the first window, he absolves you, and the last step is you go to the second window where his secretary tells you your total. They call it a penance, I guess…I don’t know, I drove right through that part.”

And to think that I used to call General Absolution “McPenance”!

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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10 Responses to “McPenance”?

  1. dwfinke says:

    Father Zuhlsdorf,
    Do you realize how hard it is for me to believe that some of the things you post are real? Now this? On what planet is this type of confession acceptable? Will you start a chat session with us now for confession? We can log on and when its our turn, I can copy and past the 10 commandments in the chat window, then you can absolve me. My penance would require me to log into my paypal account. As a formality I could copy and paste the Act of Contrition. Its no wonder why us lay Catholics are so screwed up. We have this type of leadership. Anyway, please facebook me my penance for being a butt about this.

  2. Charles E Flynn says:

    Is the priest expected to inquire about “fries” after giving absolution?

  3. alanphipps says:

    Dwfinke,

    This blog Fr. Z. refers to is a satire blog; the stories aren’t real. Fr. Z. won’t tell you that, however!

  4. asperges says:

    @dwfinke: .. log on to your ‘Papal’ account, surely?

  5. JonPatrick says:

    The annoying thing about it will be when you go into the “box” the usual way, and just as you are about to start your “Bless me father …” someone drives up and the priest has to dash over to the drive-up window because they get priority, just like at McDonalds :)

  6. Joe Mulvihill says:

    3rd Window, receive the Eucharist?

  7. kelleyb says:

    I thought the Eucharist was dispensed from the Vending Machine at the facilities’ 24 hour ATM.

  8. SPWang says:

    The famous Fr. Bob McGuire from Melbourne did this as an April Fools joke a few years back. –

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/your-sins-forgiven-on-the-run/story-e6frf7l6-1226031706893

    He’s recently been admitted to hospital with a mystery illness so pryers would be welcome.

  9. The tip off that it was satire was the byline of Wichita. Both perpetual adoration and vocations are common in the diocese.

    The authentic part was that there was a twenty minute wait on the confessional line.

    P.S.: the only Holy Trinity parish in the diocese is 85 miles from Wichita.

  10. joan ellen says:

    So, this means I don’t get a chance to practice patience in the Confession line any longer?