What Does The Prayer Really Say?
W D T P R S

Just when the Catholic Cathedral in Cardiff hits the LMS from the blind side, over in Winchester, at the Anglican Cathedral, something very different is happening.

I got this e-mail from a kind reader:

It is reported that this is how the forthcoming Mass at Winchester Cathedral on Saturday 21st June
at 11 a.m. came about:
 
It seems that some Anglican members of the Choir at Winchester Cathedral are particularly interested in the liturgy and they wanted to have a Mass in thanksgiving for the Motu Proprio. One is an acquaintance of the people who organise Masses for the Latin Mass Society in Canterbury Cathedral.  [Did you get that?  Anglicans are thankful for Summo[]rum Pontificum and want to celebrate it.]

The Dean and Chapter were all in favour and agreed.  So the Cathedral Choir will be singing a Polyphonic Mass with Gregorian Chant. Bishop Hollis was consulted and apparently agreed to the plan as long as it was a one-off.  [Bp. Hollis of Portsmouth is definitely not known as a strong conservative, but my friends in the Portsmouth diocese tell me that even before Summorum Pontificum he never said no to celebrations of the older form of Mass. ] The Celebrant is the former Abbot of Belmont, the Rev Dr laurence Hemming from London will be Deacon and a priest from Marlborough will be Sub Deacon.

This is what I call true ecumenical dialogue!
 

I got a question from a reader.  Perhaps you can chime in with answers.

I believe he is talking about the Novus Ordo.

Should the congregation STAND or SIT for the singing of the Sequence on Easter and Pentecost? At my church the cantor asked for people to remain seated for the Sequence. One of the priests said that was wrong, that the congregation should stand. Which is Correct?

I’ll let you readers get into this.

In the meantime, perhaps our WDTPRS parody song writer can come up with the answer… musically. 

"Should I stand or should I sit", might be just as good a title for someone going to the "Tridentine" Mass for the first time!

Tonight all across the world people will, alas, take note that some priests and bishop have decided to wash the feet of women during the Holy Thursday Mass. 

They do this even though they shouldn’t and, probably, know they shouldn’t.

Pretty frustrating, isn’t it?

And in those times when we are irritated by such disrespect what do traditional, conservative Catholics do? 

They write parody songs, of course!

The official WDTPRS parodohymnologist, Tim Ferguson, has sent me this:

A Holy Thursday Reflection on “Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree” by Lew Brown, Sam Stept and Charles Tobias.
(Imagine Ray Eberle and the Modernaires singing this…)

Don’t go washing those women’s feet; the Latin is plain to me:
“selecti” should be “viri.” The rubrics are clear you see. No, no, no,
Don’t go washing those women’s feet at Thursday night’s liturgy,
Thus says the Pope of Rome.

Don’t go altering rubrics now, no matter who you may be,
Or where you got your degree in Scripture and Liturgy. No, no, no,
Don’t go altering rubrics now, this calls for humility:
You’re not the Pope of Rome. 

I just got word that Ranjith has heard,
‘n put the Vicar in a jam,
Seems some priest here, washing feet last year,
Scrubbed a nylon-covered gam.
So, don’t go washing those women’s feet at Thursday night’s liturgy,
Or feel the wrath of Rome.

There… isn’t that better?

Has anyone else noticed that it seems only serious, traditionally minded Catholics tend to have a good sense of humor?  I guess this comes from the fact that when you are right you can’t be wrong.  That gives us the security to be funny.

 

But, getting back to business… I am feeling that old anger rise up inside again, .... and I need an outlet.

And what better outlet than …. another song!

From the Musical: Fiddler on the Apse
(a parody of Matchmaker, Matchmaker, from Fiddler on the Roof)

Yenta: Modernist Liturgist,
Please wash my feet,
I’m not wearing sox,
And I’ll be discrete,
Inculturate the American Way,
And please wash my feet Thursday….

Fr. Lovebeads: I am the Liturgist,
Take off your shoes!
Women and men,
There’s no need to choose!
“Viri selecti,” is just not too clear,
I’ll wash all your feet this year…

Fr. Lovebeads: For me now,
It signals inclusion!

Yenta: For me now,
It’s my chance to shine! 

Congregation: For us, well,
It doesn’t matter,
As long as we’re leaving for home by nine! 

Congregaton: Modernist Liturgist,
Give us a break!
Follow the red words
For pity’s sake.
Mass after Mass we feel under attack,
Please, just say the words in black!

The Official WDTPRS Parody Song Writer, the esteemed Tim Ferguson has been at it again.

As he put it,

“I ruminated a bit more … and came to the realization that, while “La Donna e Mobile” might be readily appreciated and understood by those with an interest in the motu proprio, there’s also a need to reach out to those who might not be so appreciative and who, in general, tend to have different musical tastes.”

He continues….

So, reaching back to the halcyon days of folk music and came up with a version of the Pete Seeger classic (made famous by the Byrds in 1965) :

Go to the altar (turn, turn, turn)
look to the East now, (turn, turn, turn)
there’s a time for every Mass now, if it’s valid.
The time for banjos and dancing is gone,
dust off the censer, and toss out the bong.
No need for hugging, we all get along
let’s keep our focus together, on Jesus.

Page through the Missal (turn, turn, turn)
remember the rubrics (turn, turn, turn)
there’s a time and a purpose for those words there Pure,
humble rev’rence is what we now lack,
just do the red words and say those in black.
When we say High Mass, there’s no need for crack,
just let your deacon and subdeacon guide you.

Now weed your library, (turn, turn, turn)
use some discernment (turn, turn, turn)
it is time now to brush up on your Latin.
Farewell to Vosko, McBrien, Hans Keung,
deep down you knew that they just peddled deung,
the 60’s are old and the Church is still young
what still subsists is a thing of great beauty.