I swear I am not making this up. It’s not from Eye of the Tiber. It’s not from Onion. It’s from KOFR.com in Oklahoma. (There’s video!)
Tambourine player tased during church service
EDMOND, Okla. — Most churches encourage praise and worship. In fact, the Bible states, “make a joyful noise to the Lord.”
But 50-year-old Vickey Sue Beyersdorfer apparently went a bit too far. [Perfect.]
Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Department Spokesman Mark Myers said, “Nobody could pay attention to the sermon or what was going on so that’s when our deputy was able to take care of the situation.” [I’m picturing.]
The religious ruckus happened at Victory Church at 1515 N. Kelly Ave in Edmond.
A woman was apparently playing a tambourine too loudly during Wednesday night services.
When she refused to stop, the woman was escorted out by an off duty Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Deputy.
Myers said, “He had to physically escort her outside the church. Once outside, she broke free from the deputy and tried to go back inside, there became a physical confrontation.” [Still picturing…]
According to the arrest report, the deputy was forced to pepper spray and tase the unruly woman. [I’ll bet that rattled that tambourine… in a sad sort of mucus dripping way.]
Myers said, “She was not filled with the Holy spirit. She was not being very Christianly and this is why the folks decided to get her out as soon as possible.” [Who am I to judge.]
Witnesses said the combative Christian was staggering and had slurred speech. [Before she went to church or after being tased?]
Authorities did find prescription pain medication in her possession.
Authorities have not said if that medication was found in her system or if that may have contributed to the incident.
Yes. News story.
Of course what do we all think of when “tambourine” comes up?
ZUHLIO!
You all learned of Zuhlio’s artistic and ecclesial greatness with the hit single Fifty Ways To Rig A Synod. But some of you may not remember his earlier triumph
Best on real events, HERE (again… I’m not making this up) this song went platinum almost as soon as it was released.
Channeling his inner Bob Dylan (who came from Zuhlio’s native Minnesota… also… something Dylan mentions… “Yah… I come from the same place Zuhlio comes from, don’chya know.”), Zuhlio sings of the moving experience of the fake ordination of a woman and her celebratory … not. making. it. up. … “ordination tambourine”.
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Just all in a day’s work for…The Liturgical Police. Let’s be careful out there! Be careful, and keep it traditional!
And, Buon Compleanno, Father!
Certainly among us are people who will choose inappropriate times and places to make a joyful noise.
And this apparently a non-denomination ecclesial communion to boot.
“But 50-year-old Vickey Sue Beyersdorfer apparently went a bit too far. ”
“A woman was apparently playing a tambourine too loudly …”
This is a sexist article and obviously a sexist church. Who are you to tell her that she is going too this or playing too that?
If only she had stayed at home, peacefully playing a Bosendorfer.
Okay, two posts in a row that made me laugh. A little levity to lighten up the all too serious time, if only briefly. Thanks, Father Z. I needed that!
Mark, LOL.
LOL! I can’t stop laughing! Do I need to confess this? LOL!
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I can’t take this! I can’t believe that the one behavior that this “PowerPoint” church won’t tolerate is playing the tambourine too loudly. Feet on the chair in front of you? OK! Shorts and T-shirts? OK! Terrible modern “Praise” music? OK! Loud tambourine playing? TASER!!!!!!!! Who knew Protestants could be so fickle?
Physical violence has always been my favorite mode of liturgical reform.
It just goes to show very clearly: stay off the tambourines!
Can’t help but enjoy the Lord’s exquisite, perfect, incredible timing. I was innocently listening to Zuhlio singing ‘Hey Lady Tamborine Priest,’ which I downloaded as an MP3 a week or so ago. Heard for the first time driving to work this morning, and had to take a second listen just now… OK – just now, right around 1:47 I connected to this article. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Hang on, brothers and sisters. God is in His holy temple :-) Give Him the GLORY!
This gave me a chance to download four of Zuhlio’s hits and get them on the iPod. Thanks! My husband (not a Catholic) liked “50 Ways to Rig a Synod”.)
This must have been your birthday present, Father Z.
(You are in my prayers today, especially. My appreciation for what you do has grown greatly over the last few years.)
Are people now beginning to deliberately pose for Eye of the Tiber?
If that’s what happens to a tambourine player, I’d hate to see what happens to the tuba player at a Polka mass!
Funny but sad.
This is the greatest headline in the history of headlines. I don’t even care about the details of the story, I just want to keep reading that headline.
And Benedict Joseph’s comment is my favorite comment.
Christianly?
If only she had been more Christianlinessfulhoodosityish.
One of the pingbacks on the original article renamed it “Tase and Worship.” :)
Out of all the parody songs of various genres by Zuhlio so far, NOTHING will ever come close to the liturgical rap song “Aging Hippie Paradise”:
https://wdtprs.com/2010/01/aging-hippie-paradise/
That was the perfect song, easiest to relate for all the folks in the pews who had to endure liturgical abuses. All the references to Kung, Bugnini, McBrien, Haugen & Haas, etc. just make us smile. My favorite lines:
And most of all, the lyrics simply just rhyme. Beauty in simplicity.
Who on earth would have ever dreamed of the existence of a parody rap song promoting the TLM? :D
Good thing the former world-renowned rapper Zuhlio wrote and performed it in 2010 during the previous pontificate of the beloved Papa Ben. If Zuhlio had dared writing such “counter-revolutionary” materials in these days and ages, he would have been paid a visit by either somebody from the diocesan “First Department” or the General Secretary might have sent a Komissar crossing the pond to investigate him for not being liturgically pastoral, not being liturgically merciful (I have no idea what that means), and not being liturgically non-judgmental.
I like the idea of taser and pepper spray in case of liturgical abuses, Catholics or otherwise.
?
I am very grateful my Catholic parish stopped using the tambourine at Sunday mass four years ago.
Physical violence has always been my favorite mode of liturgical reform
Hate globally, smash locally. :D
This is kind of an old story though, isn’t it? (2012)
“Physical violence has always been my favorite mode of liturgical reform.”
When forced by travel to attend the NO, I daydream of throwing over-ripe fruit while enduring the trifecta of musical nonsense — Eagles’ Wings, Bread of Life, and/or Lord of the Dance.
That or water cannons.
Hmm…It is possible that her pain-reliever was a prescription narcotic and that she over-dosed. Tasering and pepper spraying are a bit much, especially given that the officer did not know whether or not she had a medical condition (requiring the pain medication). If she were playing the tambourine during the sermon, this was, probably, a punctuated sermon, where the pastor says something and the congregation says their, “Amen,” with a little piano riff and tambourine.
“Myers said, “She was not filled with the Holy spirit. She was not being very Christianly and this is why the folks decided to get her out as soon as possible.”
Actually, this is nonsense, if she were non compos mentis because of an overdose. How does one filled with the Holy Spirit act? That term is only used once in Scripture – Acts 2:4 – to describe the Apostles on the day of Pentecost. Don’t get me started on the misuse of this concept.
All-in-all, it was a pretty despicable showing by the ecclesial leaders of this community. I know the incident sounds funny, but it really shows where some groups have fallen to.
The Chicken
I began what I call the “Knights of Columbus grand Confirmation Tour” last night- 10 churches in 20 days. I happened across, for the first time, some very mediocre chant to put it charitably. You could tell they were trying, but the noise was more painful than joyful. It was a kick in the humility area and proof positive that you don’t have to be liturgically unsound to have bad music.
Perhaps she needed better backup?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-_rX4FG_M
“Christianly” (adverb?) was my favourite part too.
I also like the way Masked Chicken comments seem to drain all the fun out of these types of posts while injecting the fun into the more serious ones.
Brick by brick.
Sic semper tympanotribis!
I’ll never forget the time I was assaulted at Mass by the amplified, electric accordion. I think that qualifies as one of those extremely rare instances where the Catechism allows for capitol punishment.
At Sunshine 135: I share your desire for music performed well, but perhaps your experience of that painful “very mediocre chant” could be considered from a more constructive perspective – They may be a choir trying to restore our sacred heritage of music at their parish, perhaps a new choir that’s courageously testing new ground in learning chant. It may better serve our cause of saving the liturgy if we affirm, rather than criticize, those groups that have the guts to “ride the bike”, even if wobbly at first. Brick by brick.
@Sonshine135 @AmandaL You guys, it’s only ok to mock or criticize tambourines and electric accordions, not chant! People, let’s get with the unspoken rules here. Tambourines: mockable. Chant: unmockable. Got it? ;) Ok, I’m totally just kidding, but I will say that its true some places that try to revive the chant struggle and sound terrible. At that point, it is hard to sit through and the temptation is to just have them stop altogether. But you only get better by doing, so we should probably pray for such groups that we encounter. When I lead my schola at Mass, I always pray that the Lord either help us to make the music beautiful or block the ears of the faithful so they don’t hear our mistakes. :) God bless you guys!
“Love the tambourine. Hate the tambourinist.”
carolina geo—that comment had me wheezing with laughter!
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“I also like the way Masked Chicken comments seem to drain all the fun out of these types of posts while injecting the fun into the more serious ones.”
Thank you, thank you…it’s a gift…
Seriously, I have been in situations where people have been roundly mocked and ridiculed where nothing was as it appeared. I know that this post was meant as light-hearted fun, but it isn’t really fun if the object of the fun isn’t laughing, as well. I’ve seen many mentally ill people ridiculed and laughed at, so I always try to keep decorum until it is clear that we are laughing with the person instead of at them. Likewise, sometimes, people can be so ponderously serious, that they forget that Christ said that in this world we would have troubles, but to be of good cheer. We, often, aren’t of good cheer when the going gets tough. So, if I am, at times, a little oddly contrary, consider it like a little touch of
See, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout…hit the post button, by accident. You can fill in the blank, however you want. I, personally, was going for a food metaphor, like a touch of mint on ice cream, but, well, I am sure other things might spring to mind (be kind!).
The Chicken