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Fr. Z’s 20 Tips For Making A Good Confession
We should…
1) ...examine our consciences regularly and thoroughly;
2) ...wait our turn in line patiently;
3) ...come at the time confessions are scheduled, not a few minutes before they are to end;
4) ...speak distinctly but never so loudly that we might be overheard;
5) ...state our sins clearly and briefly without rambling;
6) ...confess all mortal sins in number and kind;
7) ...listen carefully to the advice the priest gives;
8) ...confess our own sins and not someone else’s;
9) ...carefully listen to and remember the penance and be sure to understand it;
10) ...use a regular formula for confession so that it is familiar and comfortable;
11) ...never be afraid to say something "embarrassing"... just say it;
12) ...never worry that the priest thinks we are jerks…. he is usually impressed by our courage;
13) ...never fear that the priest will not keep our confession secret… he is bound by the Seal;
14) ...never confess "tendencies" or "struggles"... just sins;
15) ...never leave the confessional before the priest has finished giving absolution;
16) ...memorize an Act of Contrition;
17) ...answer the priest’s questions briefly if he asks for a clarification;
18) ...ask questions if we can’t understand what he means when he tells us something;
19) ...keep in mind that sometimes priests can have bad days just like we do;
20) ...remember that priests must go to confession too … they know what we are going through.
15) …never leave the confessional before the priest has finished giving absolution;
I guess in the course of human events, a lot of odd behavior occurs. For one who would never conceive of acting in this manner, it seems hard to believe that it is common enough to make your list.
This must be akin to those who habitually come late to Mass and leave early.
Comment by Philip — 15 July 2006 @ 8:01 amWhat is one to do if they are unsure they have sinned?
(re: struggles/tendencies)
Comment by Lauren — 16 October 2006 @ 12:18 amwoops! how exactly is a penitent to understand #14 – concerning struggles and tendencies – how can one be sure when such is truly a sin – I go daily to a noon Mass where once a week many daily communicants line the back of the church to go to confession frequently. I think #14 is much too vague to be helpful.
Comment by patti — 16 October 2006 @ 8:43 amI think #14 goes hand in hand with #11. For example, if we say “Father, I have a tendency to do this or I struggle with doing that, we’re not really confessing a particular sin. We are then just talking in generalities, and we may or may not have actually committed the sin. I mean, i’m no professional at this, but if I’m unsure if something is a sin or not I will tell it tothe priest and let him tell me if it is a sin or not.
Hope this helps!
Kim
Comment by Kim — 27 October 2006 @ 10:11 pmTo Kim:
Comment by Marlene — 3 November 2006 @ 4:57 amIf we are unsure if this or that is a sin – then it is not a sin. We will surely know if something we have done is a sin
To Marlene:
I have to say, that is absolutely untrue that if we are not sure we have sinned
Comment by Ann-Therese — 9 November 2006 @ 8:17 pmthen we surely have not. Conscience is something that cannot be obliterated
but can be mideducated and corrupted. There are people who think they have
commited no sins in the last 10 years simply because they do not know themselves.
Good insights for the parish bulletin. You should make a list for children’s confessions (beginning with
Comment by Fr Dave — 24 November 2006 @ 3:07 pmthe fact that those responsible for their education should actually prepare the children with a form.)
How many a parish priest has struggled with a little one who has no idea why he is there and what he is
supposed to do.
Fr. Dave: Exactly the reason for ” 10) ...use a regular formula for confession so that it is familiar and comfortable;”
Kids want to do things the right way. Once kids have a “system”, something structured, they are not nearly as afraid as when they don’t know what to do. I don’t understand why people who have any experience with kids or with preparing them for confession would have so little regard for them that they would allow them to be so scared.
Comment by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf — 24 November 2006 @ 3:37 pmNo, I am not a spammer. Just the least of Him.
Comment by D — 4 December 2006 @ 6:54 pmI see that my second post on this thread made it.
I think a confession form would be very useful for any confessee. This would eliminate the windy, disorganized stream-of-consciousness confessions of many parishioners, kids and adults, alike, myself, included.
Would you kindly post such a form as has been suggested above? (I wouldn’t know where to start) I promise to put it to maximum use for myself and our parish by copying it and making it available.
Thank you in advance for your kindness and effort in putting together this form and especially, for your help in leading this lamb through the gates.
Comment by D — 4 December 2006 @ 6:59 pm