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Fr. Z’s 20 Tips For Making A Good Confession
Fr. Z’s 20 Tips For Making A Good Confession o{]:¬)
We should…
1) ...examine our consciences regularly and thoroughly;
2) ...wait our turn in line patiently;
3) ...come at the time confessions are scheduled, not a few minutes before they are to end;
4) ...speak distinctly but never so loudly that we might be overheard;
5) ...state our sins clearly and briefly without rambling;
6) ...confess all mortal sins in number and kind;
7) ...listen carefully to the advice the priest gives;
8) ...confess our own sins and not someone else’s;
9) ...carefully listen to and remember the penance and be sure to understand it;
10) ...use a regular formula for confession so that it is familiar and comfortable;
11) ...never be afraid to say something "embarrassing"... just say it;
12) ...never worry that the priest thinks we are jerks…. he is usually impressed by our courage;
13) ...never fear that the priest will not keep our confession secret… he is bound by the Seal;
14) ...never confess "tendencies" or "struggles"... just sins;
15) ...never leave the confessional before the priest has finished giving absolution;
16) ...memorize an Act of Contrition;
17) ...answer the priest’s questions briefly if he asks for a clarification;
18) ...ask questions if we can’t understand what he means when he tells us something;
19) ...keep in mind that sometimes priests can have bad days just like we do;
20) ...remember that priests must go to confession too … they know what we are going through.
“never be afraid to say something ‘embarrassing’... just say it;”
This is one, I realized was a problem for me. Thank you Father for the food for thought.
Comment by John Michael — 11 March 2009 @ 6:15 am...confess all mortal sins in number and kind;
Father, what do you mean by that..?
Comment by haley — 17 March 2009 @ 8:32 pmplease kindly tell me one example . i’m REALLY desperate..
god bless your kind heart
Haley, the Catechism of the Catholic Church defines a mortal sin as follows:
“Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him.” (C.C.C. # 1855)
“Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us – that is, charity – necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the Sacrament of Confession.” (C.C.C. # 1856)
“Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the private of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance of God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.” (C.C.C. # 1861)
“To choose deliberately – that is, both knowing it and willing it – something gravely contrary to the divine law and to the ultimate end of man is to commit a mortal sin. This destroys in us the charity without which eternal beatitude is impossible. Unrepented, it brings eternal death.” (C.C.C. # 1874)
So, for example if one had committed adultery, purposedly not attended Sunday Mass, received Communion while not in a state of grace, stole from their employer, etc., their confession of these sins might be similar to this:
Example: “Father,blessme for I have sinned. It has been 9 months since my last confession. I accuse myself of willfully committing adultery twice; of for no valid reason to have missed my Sunday obligation to attend Mass twice; of receiving Holy Communion while in the state of grave sin twice; of stealing from my employer twice…”
As Fr. Z says, just state the sin and the number of times committed and move on to the next one. It’s similar to the old Nike ad “Just do it!” well here it’s “Just say it! Should anything strike the priest as needing clarification he will ask.
I always start with the worse – it makes the rest of my confession easier. The sorrow I have and the forgiveness I receive are both true grace!
Hope this helps you somewhat.
Grace & peace.
Comment by Kaneohe — 20 March 2009 @ 3:25 pmKaneohe,i did what i done on my first confession :o)
i write my sins on a piece of paper and i bring it with me, sighs of my heart..
:-D
i know that..upon entering the confessional box,
i was too nervous, i know if i couldn’t keep myself together i would forget something, and that can’t be good
i rambled, and rambled to the priest..i spelled out my sins, with vivid details :”oh father, you know the other day, when my dad got home from walmart, i didn’t want to help him with the groceries..ect.., i also threw water on my brother, oh , ..i called my mom stupid..”
in the end the priest gave me 12 hail mary
1 act of contrition.
may the sighs of my heart reach the Merciful Lord’s heart.
Comment by haley — 20 March 2009 @ 6:56 pm