April 15th, 2023
Dear Diary,
They’re already telling me I have to gear up for a bunch of confirmations in the Easter season. I haven’t done confirmations for a few years because of the damn pandemic. I gave all the priests permission or delegation or whatever for that. I sure as heck wasn’t going to get out there, catch Covid from a bunch of snot-nosed teens and then croak! Bishop Byrne asked if I was chicken. He offered to help out during Covid but everyone said, “bad idea.” He’s unclear on the concept of “retirement.” Platinum parachute and all but he still wants to be in the game.
I did my part to stop the spread. I got vaccinated and boosted, and then vaxed again and boosted again and then – honestly, I’ve lost track at this point – but I wasn’t about to take any chances. So I’m a little out of practice. It’s probably like falling off a bycycle.
The pressure’s on also because Jude kept running around Black Duck confirming people left and right all through the pandemic! True he weighs less than half of what I do, but he’s no spring chicken and the virus could have taken him down at any moment. Fr. Tommy said that when they offered the Tridentine confirmation thing people came from all over the country, hundreds of them. What’s with that, anyway? What difference does it make? Who knows how many had Covid? Too risky.
Dear diary, again,
My new super high-tech supposedly “smart” fridge keeps playing “I’m forever blowing bubbles” and I can’t turn it off. It’s making me nuts. Chester runs into the kitchen and starts howling every time. If I can’t fix it I’ll have to chuck it. And I just can’t ask Sr. Randi or Fr. Tommy to do it. Just can’t. All that money down the drain. Second collection?
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Over 20 years ago, we had to drive from our home in Massachusetts, to New Jersy to find a Bishop who did Tridentine Conformations. That has changed since then.
Bishop Fatty McButterpants would probably prefer some Johnny Mathis ,or some Little Richard , on his not so smart fridge.
Did +McButterpants prohibit his flock from going to Black Duck to be Confirmed?
On one hand, he wouldn’t allow his people to be tainted by that mean Tridentine rite. He’s too committed to his shrinki…I mean bustling liberal diocese.
On the other hand, the poor guy is agonizing over the tragedy of his refrigerator. So in charity I will say his plate is too full to be concerned of his subjects’ doings.
Lord, have mercy on your tired shepherd +McButterpants. He suffers much.
Surprisingly +McButterpants has turned into a rather likable character. I don’t necessarily like what he does, but in any other profession we’d probably get along. Of course I got along with Fr. “Just call me Jim” too, God rest his soul. Don’t think we agreed on a single thing, but I liked him all the same. Now if only this “stuck in the 70’s” type were as holy as they were likable.
@Discipula
The biggest question of all is…
would you be able to get along with Chester?
In a few dioceses where there used to be several auxiliaries, but now none, and the retired ordinaries and retired auxiliary bishops passed away, the ordinary delegated confirmation to the pastors. Reason: he could not make every parish each year, so rather than show favoritism to one parish over another, he delegated. In previous years, given the lack of other bishops, the same bishop tried combining confirmations of several parishes at one parish, but that did not go over. Of course, when I grew up, the bishop or auxiliary came around once very three or four years for confirmations so that there were large classes. But now, the expectation is once a year.
I was confirmed in the early 1980s. We were confirmed on a Thursday night by the auxiliary bishop (many years later I found out he was a liberal bishop although I will say he had good people skills) and I believe the parochial vicar (my brother and I were regular altar boys with the parochial vicar so he knew us) arranged to have this particular day because the diocesan bishop was tied up with confirmation at another parish that evening.
Anyway we all made felt stoles to wear around our necks (don’t remember the technical name) and not all of us chose official confirmation names (I didn’t know much about the saints back then). There were about 50 in our group and sadly about 30 of the 50 were happy they got a check from grandma and very rarely went to Mass again.
I think several of those reading this have a similar story. By the way I learned more about the Sacraments from the Boy Scout Ad Altare Dei program than I did going through confirmation class.
Does McButterpants require service hours for confirmation in his diocese? Is confirmation in his diocese a one year or two year process? I am a substitute CCD teacher and while confirmation in my diocese is often done in 8th grade, it’s a two year process.
I did mine in high school which was a year (most of us did it as freshman) but I believe many dioceses are doing two year preparation. Some do this as a way (I have heard and by observation) to keep the kids going to Church. One parish near me requires parents to come to confirmation class with their child(ren) which is one reason confirmation class is held on Sunday afternoons.
hwriggles4, in my parish, in the 50’s and 60’s and right into the early 70’s, there were about as many confirmations as there were first communions, and the confirmations were done near the end of 7th grade. If you were in the Catholic school of the parish, your prep was religion class for that year. If you were in CCD instead, I don’t know if they extended it into 2 years or not. Nearly all the kids in the Catholic school continued going to church after confirmation, at least into high school, and most did all the way through high school.
Some do this as a way (I have heard and by observation) to keep the kids going to Church.
Attendance at Sunday Mass should, of course, be a sine qua non of getting confirmation, because if you aren’t willing to observe just the basic rules of being a Catholic, you don’t have the disposition to receive the sacrament appropriately. But making a rule about requiring the kid’s (and his parents) attendance at Mass to receive confirmation just puts papering over the more basic problem, and (from my observations) it generally won’t do any good for achieving getting him to Mass afterwards. If the kid’s parents aren’t going to Mass every Sunday regardless of confirmation requirements, he isn’t likely to view the obligation (and need) to get to Mass weekly as something that matters later on.
I have this suspicion that if they did away with Confirmation being done at a specific age, and you had to request it individually when you (and your parents) felt you were ready, it would cease to be a “coming of age” marker that families who regularly don’t go to Mass would even care about, and maybe they would stop bothering to pretend that they are Catholics. Fr. C.J. McCloskey used to predict that by 2030 or 2035, the Church in America would be far, far smaller in official numbers (I think down to maybe 6M), but those would be practicing Catholics who went to Church weekly and to confession regularly. If that were to happen, would the bishops return to being the devout, faithful cadre they once were here?