Tag Archives: Bp. Fatty McButterpants

From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 26-04-03 – Aftermath of foot washing

April 3rd, 2026 Dear Diary, McSwiney* set me up. I am so pissed off I could do something. That Irish Setter kept going on about “reaching the peripheries” and proposed, the SOB, that I wash the feet of twelve quadriplegics. … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 26-03-28 – A bold statement for foot washing

March 28th, 2026 Dear Diary, They’ve been after me for weeks about “reaching the peripheries” again. I swear that phrase follows me around like Chester when I open a bag of jerky. It’s like Francis is back from the grave … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 26-04-01 – A scare

April 1st, 2026 Dear Diary, I had a nasty little fright today. Finance thing. Worse, donor thing. Worst, Knights of Malta thing. Turns out there were phone calls which Fr. Gilbert intercepted from a couple of the local Malta gents, … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 26-02-18 – Ashes

Febuary 18th, 2026 Dear Diary, It’s Ash Wednesday. I hate Ash Wednesday for the obvious reasons.  Today I hate it more than I have ever hated it. It started in the afternoon with a text from Msgr Tommy: “LOL…. Get … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 13-11-25 – Bishops meeting – Day 4

November 13th, 2025 Dear Diary, I knew something was up the moment I woke up. For one thing, the hotel breakfast didn’t  suck.   There were some normal things, like scrambled eggs and bacon.  BACON. In the morning we slogged through … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 12-11-25 – Bishops meeting – Day 3

November 12th 2025 Dear Diary, Dodged the Noonch again this morning.  It turns out it wasn’t my imagination that he was looking for me.   Both Jude and Mateo* said he asked.  He was lurking by the breakfast tables with a … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 11-11-25 – Bishops meeting – Day 2

November 11th, 2025 Dear Diary, Arrived safely at the USCCB autumn meeting after a seemingly endless hours of driving.  I had Fr. Gilbert build in restaurant stops, as usual.  Over the years I’ve found some good ones.  Fr. Tommy used … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 25-08-24 – Another visit to a Hispanic parish, Fr. Luis update

August 24th, 2025 Dear Diary, Back to Christ The King today.   Its been a while.  In our weekly planning meeting I quipped it ought be Christ The Ever Expanding because of all the undocumenteds pouring in.   Somebody mumbled Atticus The … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 07-12-25 – Lunch with Fr. Tommy

Dear Diary, A week since Fr Tommy and private eye and the whole Patsy “thing”. “Thing” hah! “Things” is mostly quiet now. Still jumpy. Not sleeping well. No new threats today. That’s a win. I havnt written yet about what … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 06-02-25 – Falling into the trap

June 2nd 2025 Dear Diary, This morning began with Chester triumphantly parading around the house with the TV remote clenched in his jaws like a barbarian trophy… chewing. That’s the fifth one the nasty little thief. One more and I’ll … Read More

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