Category Archives: Diary of Bp. McButterpants

From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus” – 24-05-30 – Bishops meeting

30 May 2024 Dear Diary, Next meeting in Louisville, long haul drive, I think I can do it. Or rather Fr. Tommy or Gilbert, can, drive.  At least I don’t have to get on a plane. Happy memories of cousin … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 24-05-12 – Bp. Fatty v. Confirmations

I trust the readership will understand that while I was on my recent Roman Sojourn, I was unable to frequent the usual series of secret dead drops. Therefore collection of entries from the diary were suspended. It is good to … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 24-03-10 – Bp. Fatty convalescing

March 10th, 2024 Dear Diary, Worst Lent ever. Even though I got vaxed a lot I still got the Covid again. Feel better, definitely on the mend, but it was pretty bad. I’d say sick as a dog, but not … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 24-02-08

Febuary 8th, 2024 Dear Diary, Upcoming series of FCMH one each week for the next few weeks. Several hours of boredom punctuated by a few moments of sheer terror. They gave me the reports and the materials ahead of time. … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 24-01-08

January 8th, 2024 Dear Diary, I’ve heard that their getting some kind of birthday party together for me already – it’s over a month away, but it’s never too early to plan something fun. I got a shock when Fr. … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-12-22: Christmas Party

December 22nd, 2023 Dear Diary, I had to drive by myself to the chancery’s Christmas party last night at Razzo’s Steak House because Fr. Tommy said he didn’t want to go. We were on the phone: “What do you mean … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-12-19: Blessing gals and guys

December 19th, 2023 Dear Diary, Blessing of gals and guys.  THANKS ALOT.  Now WHAT?!? Heck, I bless everything! Houses, cars, new offices in the chancery, campfires at camp, booze, ribs, sandwiches, you name it. It’s like that TV show, “That’s … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-12-17: fait accompli

December 17th, 2023 Dear Diary, It was the usual for Goadate Sunday at SP.  I dusted off all the pink jokes and got some chuckles here and there.  I guess they’ve heard them.  But I had a chance to check … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-12-13 – They’re all against me

Previous… HERE.  I guess there is something in the air these days about the Sacrament of Penance. December 13th 2023 Dear Diary, I am pissed off at Fr. Tommy.  I’m pissed at Vice.  I’m pissed at the ST rector.*   I’m … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 2023-12-01 – Fr. Mark Rogers

Background on Fr. Mark Rogers HERE (20 February 2019) – HERE (17 June 2023) – HERE (5 July 2023).   November 30, 2023 Dear Diary, Fr. Mark Rogers. Loved Latin and all that stuff. I had to come down on … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus” – 23-11-12 – Bp. Strictland

November 12th, 2023 Dear Diary, This morning Fr. Tommy asked me my thoughts about the mess with Strictland in Texas. I can’t say I know him. He doesn’t hang around the bar after the bp meetings with the group of … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus” – 23-11-11 – Liar, liar, McButterpants on fire

Editor’s note:  Many of you have written plaintively about the dearth of news about Most. Rev. Francis Atticus McButterpants, Bishop of Libville, suffragan of the Archdiocese of Red Bird. One priest, a Jesuit as a matter of fact, but Catholic, … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-09-07 – Annual priest convocation

September 7th 2023 Dear Diary, Annual priest gathering. Up early and over to the clergy workshop. Two words in one: one I don’t really like and the other I do. It says in the Bible “he who will not work … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-09-12 – Request that relic of St. Jude’s Arm be brought to Diocese of Libville

EDITOR’s NOTE: There is a reference to an USA Today article about the Relic of the Arm of St. Jude the Apostle, which is presently being brought to parishes through the ministry of Fr. Carlos Martins of Treasures of the … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-08-28 – A visit to a Hispanic parish for food (and Fr. Luis)

August 28, 2023 Dear Diary, It was Fr. Luis’s “homecoming” this weekend, back to the parish he went to when he immigrated here, got involved and decided to pursue priesthood. Thank heaven he’s now over at Christ the King, though! … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-08-22 – A visit to the seminary

August 22nd, 2023 Dear Diary, Went up to the regional seminary for the start of the new academic year. The rector invited me to celebrate Mass and then stay for lunch and offer some reflections. I drove. I didn’t recall … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-08-15: The return of Fr. Tommy. The dime drops.

August 15th, 2023 Dear Diary, I had kind of a shock today, but I’m hoisting a scotch anyway and breaking out the caviar ’cause it’s a relief to have Fr. Tommy back. Things have kinda slipped through the cracks the … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-08-09: Vetitum guy

August 9th, 2023 Dear Diary, The vetitum guy from the Pie Town diocese faked a coronary! Claimed he had chest pains, went to ER, they couldn’t find anything, but admitted him for more evaluation. He calls for the Catholic chaplain … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-08-06: Fr. Tommy update

August 6, 2023 Dear Diary, Finally! Fr. Tommy’s coming back. Next Tuesday, on the Assumption. After his month-long June “exercise” retreat (ugh, exercise) and then being holed up in Canby all July, waiting to get in to see the doctor, … Read More

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 2019-08-05 – Moolah

August 5th, 2023 Dear Diary, Some nice gals wrote to tell me they are giving me their annual award! So sweet of them. It’s called – I copied it down – the “μύλος” award. As if Latin wasn’t hard enough, … Read More

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