Vanity Fair and the Synod

From the often amusing Eye of the Tiber:

Synod On The Family Admits New ‘Caitlyn’ Jenner Vanity Fair Cover ‘A Game Changer’

Marx Jenner

Members of the Synod on the Family scrambled to meet today to discuss what some bishops are calling “a game changer” after Bruce Jenner appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair revealing his new Caitlyn Jenner identity.
The impromptu meeting was called by Cardinal Reinhard Marx to review how they could leverage what he called the potential “straw that broke the discriminatory camel’s back.”
“You guys…tell me you saw Caitlyn on Vanity,” a giddy Marx said to fellow members of the synod as he clutched the magazine tightly to his chest and hopped up and down. “Look at this, look at this…is she not a doll? Listen…she might look like a doll, but she’s human just like us, and deserves the right to become whoever she wants and to do whatever she wants, and we as a Church need to applaud her courage. This is it boys…the day we’ve been waiting for.”
Marx went on to address the council members, asking all those gathered to make proposals for how to get his idea of a more inclusive Church into the official synod document before the “African bishops” found out about it.

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  1. TNCath says:

    With apologies to Helen Reddy, cue to the music: “He is woman, hear him roar!”

  2. pray4truth says:

    “face palm” … because there are no words …

  3. Moral_Hazard says:

    Barf. “Caitlyn” Jenner is not a woman. Also, does Marx et. al. really think the average middle-aged man doing this is going to have both the features, the funds, the photography, and the digital editing, to look like Jenner does on that magazine cover?

    Lastly, does he not fear God’s judgement?

  4. Moral_Hazard says:

    And I didn’t notice the satire. Shame on me.

  5. Traductora says:

    As usual, at first glance, I didn’t realize it was satire…

    Today I was thinking that if the nature of the Trinity was once the big problem, along with the problem of the natures of Christ, the big problem now is the nature of man. I think theologians were way behind the curve on this one, and honestly not enough attention has been devoted to this.

    Of course, there’s also the nature of physical reality to consider. Every flake in the universe is now discovering that he wanted to be a she or vice versa, and therefore, wanting makes it real – and now both physical reality (through surgery) and social reality (through formal legal acceptance) are to be conformed to that person’s delusions.

  6. LarryW2LJ says:

    “Is she not a doll?” Yeah, an empty headed dummy.

    My first impression when I looked at the photo is that something is not quite right there (photographically speaking). It’s probably just me, but the face vs. the neck angle look a bit off to me, and the hair doesn’t fit the face quite right, either.

    It occurred to me that it’s not beyond the Left to heavily retouch a photo like this in order to glorify trans-gender as much as they can. The actual result might not be as fantastic as they would have you believe.

    In any event, prayers for Mr. Jenner. He needs them now more than ever.

  7. jeffreyquick says:

    Gee, I wish that were funny.
    There’s a Twitter bot out there named @she_not_he that will correct you if you call “Ms.” Jenner a “he” or “him” So let’s just call Jenner an “XY” as he always was and she will ever be.

  8. Do the African Bishops have emails and know English??? I think we should start a crusade and inform them.

  9. pannw says:

    Moral_Hazard says: “And I didn’t notice the satire. Shame on me.”

    Well, in your defense, more is the shame of certain prelates that make it so easy to confuse satire for factual reporting. Oh that they had a sense of that shame. God help them.

    Traductora, Beloved Benedict XVI’s Christmas address to the Roman Curia speaks to this very thing beautifully. Sadly, we didn’t get bombarded by the media with every thought, word, or deed from our previous Pope, but it would have been far too difficult for them to spin him for their wicked purposes, I guess.

  10. Muv says:

    When I am surgically transformed into a tree I shall have my petition ready asking Card. Marx to rebaptise me with my new name of Cherry-Hazel and reconfirm me as Holly. Please don’t anyone spoil it and tell those backward thinking African bishops.

  11. Benedict Joseph says:


  12. jacobi says:


    I have commented elsewhere about the constant insidious use of propaganda by the homosexual lobby. The aim of propaganda is to accustom people to accept the unacceptable.

    This picture is a very good example of homosexual propaganda in action. Yes, it’s funny and we can all have a good giggle over it and Marx, and his entourage all carefully packed round the camera, can seem to be “nice” tolerant, cheery, men, having a laugh about some bloke dressed up as a woman and with false boobs, (not impressed, by the way, I’m a leg man). A little more of this and we will all, they hope, be thinking, well, what’s the harm?

    Standard classic propaganda – but not Catholicism!

  13. Suburbanbanshee says:

    1) Even progressive people admit that the cover is more heavily Photoshopped than anything they’ve seen in a while. And since Vanity Fair’s standard operating procedure is to heavily Photoshop even the world’s most beautiful models, that gives you an idea about how ridiculously fictional this cover is.

    2) Let’s not forget that he was not just anybody, but the world’s finest athlete with the world’s most gifted body. Yet he has been led to hate himself and his body so much that he now denies his own sex and has mutilated his poor body.

    3) Living with the Kardashians wouldn’t be good for anyone’s sanity or morality.

  14. Kathleen10 says:

    Teenagers and goofy young adults will experiment with things like this because they literally don’t know any better. Not having the life skills or matured personality, it’s easy for them to be confused by the culture, which now glorifies sexual confusion. What the culture does to children and young people is awful to consider, especially for the ones who have no one to balance it out for them. There will be experimentation goaded on by the media. God help children and young people today.
    For Bruce Jenner, it’s likely this follows a lifetime of identity confusion. This is a tremendous cross to bear, but what he is doing is not the answer. A recent study concluded that people were no happier after reassignment than before. True contentment in life cannot be found in denying what we are. Bruce Jenner is still a man and will always be until someone figures out how to manipulate DNA. I’m sorry for him.
    But I feel sorrier for his elderly parents and his children. They are the ones whose hearts were broken, who have had to emotionally deal with the process and the fallout, and will have to continue to deal with it. It is terribly selfish to inflict this on them. But narcissism abounds.

  15. juergensen says:

    The Rev. Franklin Graham (Protestant) is just now being reported as saying that the homosexuals’ “attack” on marriage is an “assault on the church” that is “driven by the forces of evil that hate the name of Christ.” I can hardly imagine our Catholic bishops saying that. Sad.

  16. Lin says:

    So sad! And so many in the media applauding his actions!?! We have become a country of political correctness with no thought of eternal ramifications. Too many sermons about love and most believe that everybody goes to heaven. Prayers for Bruce Jenner and may GOD have mercy on all of us.

  17. robtbrown says:

    From what I’ve seen of Kardinal Marx and Lehmann, instead of a magazine it would be more appropriate to find them with a Big Mac and Double Order of Fries

  18. q7swallows says:

    As a friend of mine pointed out: since every one of Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner’s 100+ trillion constantly reproducing bodily cells bears (and has always borne) an XY-chromosome, Jenner is still a man.

    Essentially, under all the lipstick & implants, every cell still cries out in testimony: “MALE!”

    Poor Mr. Jenner . . . .

  19. Grumpy Beggar says:

    Bruce Caitlyn is a tough puzzle to figure out.
    “Amen” to jacobi‘s and Lin‘s posts.

    Apparently, when asked for clarification of technically , which, umm, parts remained when he decided he wouldn’t be going all the way through with a sex-change operation , journalists were told to “mind their own business”. . . But, there he is on the cover of Vanity Fair . . . kind of like , ” I want to be popular and tell you what I’ve done . . . but I won’t specify what I have done because I want my privacy.” This, is supposed to somehow make sense – the liberating mentality of someone who has found himself. He claimed he wasn’t going all the way through with the operation for the sake of his daughters.

    I’m just trying to imagine how traumatic that has to be for both his daughters – in all aspects of not only their public life, but also in how they view their dad. God bless them . After seeing a couple of photos of them, I found it conveyed to me a more appealing call to prayer that that image on Vanity Fair did.

    At the very least, maybe we could commend Vanity Fair for choosing an honest name – unlike some sludge-slinging publications we’re acquainted with who have been rumored to mimic the wrapping material around the periphery of dead fish.

  20. Sonshine135 says:

    Bruce Jenner needed some serious help that he didn’t care to pursue. Now he will live in his own delusional, made up world. It appears again that society is all in favor of people living this way. In short, Bruce went from being on a box of Wheaties to a box of Fruit Loops, and there is no shortage of people buying that cereal either.

  21. KaTeKu says:

    This is a joke, right? I mean, Father, this post is a satirical joke, isn´t it? For if not, we should face the bitter truth and that is that the german “church” is not olny de facto schismatical but is already heretical…

  22. Grumpy Beggar says:

    Silly me : And for the longest time, I had believed that all the Marx Brothers had already passed on.

    Here’s Father John Hardon’s Modern Catholic Dictionary definition of mutilation :

    MUTILATION. An action which deprives oneself or another of a bodily organ or its use. The mutilation may be either direct or indirect. Direct mutilation is a deliberately intended act that of its very nature can cause mutilation. If the effect is not directly intended, it is called indirect mutilation.

    Mutilation belongs to the category of murder. The difference is that mutilation is partial destruction, whereas murder is the total destruction of a person’s physical life. Moral law is concerned with mutilation because no one has absolute dominion over the body, and the violation of this principle is an offense against God’s sovereignty.

    Nevertheless, a person has the right to sacrifice one or more members of the body for the well-being of the whole body. Thus it is permitted to amputate any organ of the body in order to save one’s life. However, lesser reasons than danger of death also justify mutilation.

    The removal or suppressing the function of any organ of reproduction is in a moral category of its own. It is never permitted when the purpose is directly to prevent conception or pregnancy. (Etym. Latin mutilare, to cut off, maim.)

    In the topic being discussed, it would appear that the poor unfortunate subject’s soul and emotions had been mutilated well in advance of the body.

  23. Grumpy Beggar says:

    Just saw it announced tonight while flipping channels during a hockey game , that a series of 8 one-hour documentaries about Bruce Caitlyn is going to air. Seems to be true according to Caitlyn Jenner Starring in New E! Docu-Series I Am Cait

    . . . “Privacy” my a** ! . . . Reminds me a little of the story about Narcissus.

  24. The Masked Chicken says:

    “Silly me : And for the longest time, I had believed that all the Marx Brothers had already passed on.”

    Most of my students don’t even know who the Marx Brothers were. :(

    The Chicken

  25. Muv says:

    Chicken and Grumpy Beggar, should we tell Mr. Jenner that there ain’t no vanity clause?

  26. Grumpy Beggar says:

    The Masked Chicken says:
    4 June 2015 at 7:49 AM

    “Most of my students don’t even know who the Marx Brothers were. :(

    The Chicken”

    They were waaaay before my time too Chicken, but their stuff is definitely funny. . . Too bad that a few Cardinals we’re contemplating couldn’t do a protracted impression of Harpo Marx for us ( he never spoke – there’s a lot they could learn from him). : )

  27. The Masked Chicken says:

    Dear Muv,

    You wrote:

    “Chicken and Grumpy Beggar, should we tell Mr. Jenner that there ain’t no vanity clause?”

    Let me just say as a humor scholar – THAT WAS EXCELLENT!

    From the Marx Brothers movie, “A Night at the Opera,”:

    Fiorello[Groucho]: Hey, wait, wait. What does this say here, this thing here?
    Driftwood: Oh, that? Oh, that’s the usual clause that’s in every contract. That just says, uh, it says, uh, if any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified.
    Fiorello[Chico, who is Italian]: Well, I don’t know…
    Driftwood: It’s all right. That’s, that’s in every contract. That’s, that’s what they call a sanity clause.
    Fiorello: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You can’t fool me. There ain’t no Sanity Clause!

    The Chicken

  28. Grumpy Beggar says:

    @ Muv : Sorry, for some reason , I didn’t see your post before my last one – Still would’ve taken The Chicken’s explanation above to make sure I got it though. I did see that skit, but it was such a long time ago that it wouldn’t have registered. Thanks to both you and The Chicken for the laugh.

    BTW reflecting again on your post, now that The Chicken has enlightened me:

    Muv says:
    “Chicken and Grumpy Beggar, should we tell Mr. Jenner that there ain’t no vanity clause?”

    Yes Muv , I think it’s best if someone does that. However , all, um, things considered , I think he’s firmly bent on believing that there is a Mrs. clause , no matter what anyone tells him.

  29. colemanmd says:

    let me start with Barf….. Mr. Jenner is in serious need of some counseling, until then prayers. oh and Barf.

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