From a reader…
QUAERITUR:
I have seen several Examination of Conscience guides mention neglecting prayer as a sin. Could you unpack this a bit? Failing to pray at all for a week, for example, seems like it would be a mortal sin, but what about saying only 3 Hail Marys before bed on a particular day? Is this such light prayer that it also constitutes sinful neglect?
St Teresa of Avila says: “no prayer, no salvation. No mental prayer, no holiness.”
Turning to Scripture, I am reminded of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18:
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray constantly, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
“Pray always”. How’s that?
It isn’t a suggestion, by the way. Paul was serious.
Okay, we are not going to be doing that explicitly. Not even those who are like Carthusians are going to get that that point unless …
…unless in their relationship with God their will – their intention – is oriented to God such that all that they do has a prayerful component. Their desire is to pray. They want that all that they do be also offered to God. Therefore, in all that they do their actions are intentionally prayerful. That takes a lot of practice, I think and a lot of grace. It’s a matter of relationship with God.
It is important that we don’t reduce our relationship with God to a contractual relationship.
For example, the ancient pagan Romans thought they had a contractual relationship with the gods expressed in the phrase “Do ut des… I give (something to you) in order that you give (something to me)”. Hence, if the Romans offered their sacrifices according to the proper form, the contract was maintained, peace with the gods – the pax deorum – was maintained. The ancient pagans thought Christians were interrupting that contractual arrangement, which made them a danger to the pax deorum, which made the enemies of the “state”.
As an aside, the ancient pagan sacrifices had to be precise for the contract to be maintained. So, if anyone screwed up anything, they had to start over. No state business could be done without the necessary sacrifices blah blah by the consul whose turn it was, etc. There was one period of internal political warfare between factions when one side manage to ram into the consulship a guy with a stutter. Get my point? I digress.
Let’s not reduce our relationship with God to a contract. “I’ll pray this amount.”
We want to have a good, strong healthy deepening relationship with God.
Asking, “how much is enough” is sort like asking “How often should I talk to my wife so she won’t leave me?” That’s not a healthy marriage.
An examen list will address the issue of lack of prayer. However, sins are not so much breaking of rules as they are breaking of the Sacred Heart, a violation of a relationship.
That said, rules can be helpful if the relationship isn’t yet strong.
If one’s heart has all sorts of disordered attachments, “pray always” becomes difficult if not impossible. In that case rules guide us.
For example, clergy and religious have a rule to pray the Office.
Our Lady insists on the daily prayer of the Rosary (15 or 20 minutes). Perhaps, for a layman, that would be enough to maintain the relationship.
No matter what, when we do what we do with great love, Our Lord will be better pleased than if what we do is just for following the rules. For example, almsgiving is more pleasing to Our Lord when given with love. Full, conscious, actual participation at Holy Mass is more pleasing that simple fulfillment of a precept.
Perhaps we can see prayer and all the other good things we can do as being like the talents in the parable. God has made a great investment in each one of us. How can we repay and also overpay in loving gratitude for His investment in us? Formal prayer can be like that. Formal prayer is a kind of tithing of one’s time determined by one’s state in life.
Formal and loving with enduring intention are not mutually exclusive, of course. And the one -the formal – can, over time, lead to the other.
We should all have a solid regimen of good devotions and prayers. Classic devotions and prayers were crafted in prayer and then polished over time into beautiful jewels.
The beautiful thing about such a regimen is that it deepens with time. Maybe it begins more in the category of a “rule”, but it nevertheless affects and effects a relationship. Time and experience (regularity and quality) make it ever more meritorious.
After that longish ramble, I’ll try to be concrete, provided we don’t make the mistake of reducing our relationship with God to a contract.
What might be “enough”? It seems to me that:
- a morning offering
- prayers before and after meals
- the Angelus/Regina caeli
- the Rosary (15-20 minutes of your day?)
- an evening offering with your examination of conscience
Our Lady insists on the Rosary… doesn’t she. That, at least, should be your practice, if nothing else.
Of course we can add all sorts of other wonderful things, such as visits to the Blessed Sacrament. However, for a layman that might be enough to establish a good daily prayer relationship with God provided that we are also on the road to more rather than just remaining in the status quo ante.
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An outstanding piece of advice and instruction, Fr.
Thank You.
I am always minded to remember Saint Paul’s instruction: “Pray without ceasing”.
When one sees a beautiful grand-child, does one not say “God Bless You” to them ?
That is a Prayer.
When one sees a magnificent sunset or hears a wonderful piece of music, does one not say “Thank You” ?
That is a Prayer.
When one realises that one lives in a Country without war, plus living without a terrible illness, plus having sufficient to buy a healthy meal, does one not say “Thank You” ?
That is a Prayer.
Thank you, Fr. Z! I needed that! A great priest told me to also prioritize mental prayer with Lectio Divina, meditation , and contemplation, as a good and true ordering of my prayer life. It’s incredibly personal and unitive with the Divine. It has heightened and enriched my awareness of the other prayers I regularly pray. I highly recommend the Theresian (St Theresa of Avila) method.
Holy Mother Church strongly recommends the practice of the laity praying the Liturgy of the Hours as well. the iBreviary App or the Word on Fire booklet subscription service similar to Mangnificat make it very easy for the laity to pick up the “hinge hours” of Lauds and Vespers, or at very least Compline – which integrates nicely into an evening examen. Praying with the scripture, especially in the tradition of the Church, is most excellent.
The Divine Office, The Liturgy of the Hours.
I believe that we should pray at the very least, once a day. Personally, I pray every night before I sleep and whenever during the day. But the important thing is that you pray at least once. Praying can help make you feel good and more confident about your day. You should also pray to God whenever you are in need of help or guidance. Prayer is a very important aspect of our daily lives, and we should show that by praying at least once a day. However, the more time you spend talking to God, the better!