Weddings will be included among those war stories. Included could be a few things we wish we could say.
First, it is amazing how often people who are requesting sacraments of the Church look you straight in the eye and lie.
On the model of the Mass of the Pre-Sanctified, we should have the Mass of the Pre-Consumated.
Beer cans on the altar after the photo sessions.
Coming into church during the photo session just as the bride is lying on the altar in a suggestive pose.
“No white dress. For you, it’s peach at best.”
Finding a buffet lunch set up in the church’s choir loft.
“You and your fiance will be walking down the aisle together.” “But Father! But Father!”, the bride objects, “I’ve dreamt all my life of my father giving me away!” To which Father responded, “Madame, you gave yourself away when you moved in with your fiance.”
Hard and fast rules: “I will not discuss any details of your marriage with your parents (read: the bride’s mother).” Wise.
Co-habitating couple asked for their out-of-wedlock bundle of joy to be pulled down the aisle in a wagon with sparklers attached to it.
There were more. Ohhhhh, yes. There were more.