Sometimes you have to search for your sense of humor when things aren’t going as smoothly as we would prefer. We aren’t liberals, after all, and this isn’t the Fishwrap.
I saw this at the often amusing Eye of the Tiber:
The Vatican announced today that it’s making faster, easier annulments an option via its brand new delivery system, Annulment Prime.
The news confirms reports that surfaced last week indicating that the Vatican was staffing up a new “separation division” to compete with services offered by its protestant competitors.
The service will give Annulment Prime members faster annulment options at a fraction of the cost. As an introductory offer, members who sign up to Annulment Prime in the next two days will receive a 30-day free trial. Members will also have access to annulment paperwork order-tracking, as well as the option to track the priest working on his or her case in real-time.
The Vatican says that “customers” will see their annulments finalized and delivered within a day or less with no additional charges or delivery fees.
In other news, my Roman correspondents have seen these new nullity declaration dispensers being installed in Italian churches and chanceries.
Yes, the moderation queue is definitely ON.
Okay, back to being serious, everyone.
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Funny. Truly. Now, back to work.
You want us to go back to being serious, Father?!
What about covering a certain amount of fees per month from out of network nullity declaration dispensers? Sometimes when you’re traveling, the Episcopalian machines are the only option.
I haven’t had any dealings with the annulment process personally, but I have heard repeated complaints from others that it’s been something of a racket, costs too much, adds up to a “buy your way out” scheme and so forth. I assume that some of these complaints are somewhat accurate, just paying the odds.
But I don’t know that making the process easier is the way to go.
Members will also have access to annulment paperwork order-tracking, as well as the option to track the priest working on his or her case in real-time.
Well, they’ve got police officers wearing cameras now; are priests next? Got to make sure they are expediting the process.
Will kneelers be installed in front of the Nullomats?
If you can’t laugh, you’ll cry.
Will they be delivered by a Drone from the Throne?
I’ve been a fan of EOTT for a while.
This recent article tells us a little about the instigator of EOTT.
Sometimes the comment section is as good as the article.
Funny. Now, back to my downward trajectory into greater and deeper pessimism about the changes….
All well and good, but do they have a 30 day “Try it for free” period?
AnnulmentZoom.com?
The Eye of the Tiber is witty but I think Eccles’ British wit is unbeatable.
Eccles’ response to the motu proprios is great: ‘Pope Francis annuls all marriages. See ecclesandbosco.blogspot.com
Sounds great. We could have two or three marriages at once and then decide which to have annulled. I should have thought about that before, sort of well, oh a long time ago now!
I was wondering if someone would mention the “Eccles and Bosco ” blogspot. Yes indeed “Back Pew Sitter”, the latest satirical posting from Bosco is indeed ‘Pope Francis Annuls all Marriages’.
His biting satire does not always hit for everyone and one does need to know who some of his targets are within the UK.
I guess I’d think it was funnier if I didn’t think it was true.
Is the Roman Rota going to move to Reno? Or just close up shop entirely?
Is the framed certificate an extra charge?
I subscribe to Amazon Prime and even made a will on LegalZoom.com. Eye on the Tiber should not mock me, I think.
I just wanted to remind all that there is no truth to the rumor (started by a Methodist no doubt) that the new fee schedule for annulments is a flat rate–30 pieces of silver. Though apparently, this was considered in Rome, the thought was dropped due to the difficulty involved with the constantly fluctuating rate of precious metals.
An adjunct theology/climate change professor in Georgetown also reminded supporters of the idea that using silver opened up the bias question, since women wear more silver jewelry than men as a rule and thus could more easily afford the fee.
This all resembles “No Fault Divorce”.
“We laugh because it’s funny, and we laugh because it’s true.”
Eye of the Tiber again:
http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2014/12/26/breaking-vatican-to-posthumously-grant-henry-viii-annulment-queen-to-dissolve-church-of-england/
In other news: scientists in New Zealand have identified a hormone that dissolves marriages when taken by the spouses together. “It is amazing” said one couple asking not to be identified. “24 hours after we took the pill, our marriage was complete dissolved, as if it had never existed.” Several drug companies in the US have already expressed interest and the FDA is looking into speeding up the process of making it widely available. President Putin, however, was skeptical.
I understand the Catholic Church will begin to issue debit cards with embedded chip to each bride and groom married before her altars. The preloaded card will be worth $10 US. When the marriage fails, the parties will go to the anull-o-mat, fill in a few blanks, insert card, and requisite paperwork will be processed both in the diocese and centrally. The cards are good for two annulments each.