Fr. Z’s Gold Star For The Day: Dr. Peter Kwasniewski

At The Remnant my friend the talented Dr. Peter Kwasniewski wrote about the recent tyrannical moves of Bp. Christensen of Boise against the Traditional Roman Rite, against priests, against lay people, especially the elderly. I wrote about that HERE.

It is grim how the Bishop abused the GIRM, but Peter responded with some humor, as well as an analytical take down. At the end of his analysis, he posted a response in limericks. Yes, you read that right. Limericks. Check this out.

A Clarification of Limericks
By Peter Kwasniewski

Bishop Christensen’s issued directives,
But the content is largely invectives:
He’s opposed to folks kneeling,
Latin Mass ain’t appealing—
And forbidden are GIRM’s own electives!

As to media, warnings are thundered:
“If you read NLM, you have blundered!
The blogosphere traddy
Has made you all batty—
Roman coffers are NOT to be plundered!”

“Rid the church of its harmful prie-dieus!
Make presiders gaze out to the pews!”
Thus the prelate in Boise,
who’s regrettably noisy
About just what his clergy may choose.

How disturbing it is to be told:
“You can’t offer the great Mass of old
Except if you wish
To report to the Bish
All the details His Grace has cajoled.”

One would think, with the plague all around us,
That a shepherd would not try to hound us:
“Don’t get down on your kneeses
(I don’t care if it’s Jesus!)”—
When we know a true father would ground us.

False obedience never will heal
A liturgical rupture so real.
Caring pastors, mild vicars,
Please eschew Kool Aid liquors;
Feed your flocks with the best, we appeal!

Fr. Z kudos.

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. marnie says:

    Father Z, that was wonderfully done
    And to read it, exceptionally fun
    We’re living an age
    Where we all want to rage
    But the battle is already won.

  2. Semper Gumby says:

    Well done Dr. K and marnie.

  3. Kathleen10 says:

    Yes, well done by both!

  4. Joe in Canada says:

    yes, wonderfully made!
    I was going to comment on ‘prie-dieus’ but a little interwebs searching shows prie-dieus, prie-dieux, and prie-dieu (invariable) so have at it! Poor Boise – tell it not in Gosh! Isn’t it still a byword for foolish perversity? as in ‘the boys of Boise’?

  5. jflare29 says:

    I find his verse hilarious.
    Even so, to be frank, I’m growing REALLY weary of these battles. In the last 15-20 years, I’ve read many declamations against bishops by traditionalists. When I investigate, …I find exceedingly little actual evidence–sometimes none–that a bishop has exceeded his authority. Most arguments emphasize Novus Ordo abuses, demonstrate GIRM vagueness, or demonstrate irrational character in a bishops’ official statement. Or whatever. I can agree I find bishops aggravating, foolish, sometimes flat stupid and insulting. I would not be paying any heed at all to traditional voices if the bishops generally made sense. Even so, I cannot agree that these declamations prove how a bishop has exceeded his authority.
    I wish to see the traditional movement grow, to enrich the Church and the world. For this to happen, we need to be far better. I need to see a brief explanation within the space of two or three sentences about why a bishop can’t do what he did. I need to see clear references to the applicable rules. Otherwise, we have another traditional vs modern boxing match. …We’re back to the same old same old.
    For me, the vast majority of flak against one or another bishop mostly proves that traditionalists are mad as hornets that a bishop isn’t a determined traditionalist.

    I cannot teach my god-daughters anything of substance about faith if all I can offer them is fury from one faction of the Church directed against another.

  6. dbonneville says:

    Well, these belong pretty much nowhere but here on this post:

    There once was a priest of Tradition
    Whose Bishop held him in suspicion
    The bishop said “You
    hate Vatican II”
    And banished him with all derision


    There once was a pope gone astray,
    Who’s interest was only today,
         He forgot about church,
         Leaving sheep in the lurch,
    And some of them wandered away!


    Their once was a scholar named Luther
    Who thought that his truth was more truther.
         Though partially right,
         He continued to fight,
    And the Church came out as the loser!


    There once was a bishop from Canterbury
    Who was late for a meeting and had to hurry
        “I can’t miss the talk!”
        But then he did balk,
    When they asked him to settle a controversy.


    There once was a preacher from Dallas
    Whose learning had made him contentious
         He’d wrangle with words,
         In ways quite absurd
    That included all kinds of gymnastics!


    There once was a lunatic Baptist,
    Who quoted the Bible with clenched fists:
         He said “God is Love!”
         And then put on some gloves,
    And proceeded to punch all the Catholics.


    There once was a Catholic slouch
    On Sundays he stayed on his couch
         “I’m fine with the Lord
         It’s just that I’m bored”
    Yet sin at his door still did crouch.


    There once was a bickering scholar
    Who grabbed everyone by the collar
         He said “I am right!”
         And proceeded to fight,
    And did win because he sure could holler.


    There once was a Scripture in Greek,
    That a Protestant studied all week.
        When he ran to his friend,
        Saying “Only I understand!”
    He proceeded to trip on his feet


    There once was a Catholic Book,
    That a Protestant honestly mistook,
        He said “With a ribbon
        It droppest from Heaven”
    But never at history did look.


    There once was an Anglican priest
    Who tried to make bread without yeast
         He hungered till ten,
         And Reformed it again,
    But then went to Rome for a feast!


    There once was a man with a Bible
    Whos calling in life was to quibble.
         He ran around town,
         Broadcasting his frown,
    And showed everyone what he scribbled!


    A preacher named Calvin the John
    Spoke words that were overly strong.
         Though Scripture he learnt,
         His enemies he burnt,
    And his error today still goes on!


    A fisherman named Simon Peter
    Had faith that would waver and teeter.
         He suffered some loss,
         But died on a cross,
    Redeeming his faults as a martyr!


    …And finally…

    There once was a boy in despair
    Who committed his problems to prayer
         In trusting above,
         Peace came like a dove,
    His Father in heaven did care!

  7. marnie says:

    debonneville, those were wonderful! Thank you for sharing them.

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