In the wake of Fishwrap pimping its writers out for the Democrat (aka “Godless Party Of Death”) National Convention (DNC), I received a note from the famed multi-platinum recording star Zuhlio, that he had received from his close collaborator, the official Parodohymnodist of this blog, a new song for his consideration.

Given Zuhlio’s foray into many genres, it was thought that he might do this justice.  The original HERE

In Zuhlio’s note, however, he expressed regret:  “There’s only one Louis Prima, Father.  One.”

I’m Just A Jesuit

I’m just a Jesuit so smug and full of it,
At the DNC, I’m praying,
Paid for my degree, by hawking heresy,
and Catholic truth I’m disobeying,
My doctrine’s fresh and new,  LGBT & Q
What will they say about me?
When the time comes to quit
I’m just a Jesuit,
Life goes on without me

I’m just a Jesuit playing my small bit
Trading on the name Ignatius,
We were once august,  but then came pride and lust,
Ooo la la, good gracious,
There will come a day, when we will go away,
What will they say about us?
When we’ve lost our wits,
We were just Jesuits,
The Church goes on without us.

I ain’t got no dogma,
No dogma to cling to,
No dogma to cling to
I’m so sad and woke now
Sad and woke now, sad and woke now,
Won’t some sweet bishop come and take a chance with me,
Cuz I ain’t so bad.
An’ I’ll tell him, just what he wants,
All of the time,
He will truly be, truly be,
Bip boz dee boz dee bop, bishop bop.

I ain’t go no dogma
No dogma to cling to
No dogma to cling to
No dogma to cling to
No dogma to cling to

Humala bebuhla zeebuhla boobuhla
Humala bebel Beelzebub – oops!

I ain’t got dogma
No dogma to cling to
No dogma to cling to,
I’m so sad and woke now,
So woke now, so woke now, so woke now
Won’t some cute bishop come and rescue me
Cuz I ain’t so bad.

An’ I’ll tell him just what he wants
All of the time,
He will only be, only, only, only,
Only, only, only, only be
Baby, nighty nighty baby,
There’s no dogma (no dogma)
There’s no doctrine (no doctrine)
There’s no morals (no morals)
There’s no ethics (no ethics)
There’s no one (no one)
There’s no one (no one)
Loot de loot (loot de loot)
Dolly dolly (dolly dolly)
Gernish gernish (gernish gernish)
Stot say da wool (stot say da wool)
Over den (over den)
Nobody (nobody)
No, no one (no, no one)
Nobody (nobody)
Nobody (nobody)
Nobody (nobody)
Nobody (nobody)
Nobody cares for me


A really fun instrumental version from 1939. When music was still music!

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. GHP says:

    Oh my goodness! That is (to quote an old beer advert) BRILLIANT!

    Though … I had to watch David Lee Roth’s version while reading your lyrics. Guess I now need to go to confession.

    I was only ever aware of David Lee Roth’s versions — the “Dave TV” version, where he’s in a studio, is simply over-the-top funny — with him crashing into Michael Jackson’s video shoot, Cindi Lauper, Boy George, Billy Idol, and … Willy Nelson.

    Now, with that video-shoot-crashing theme in mind, perhaps Zhulio could shoot a video in which our erstwhile Fr. Guido Sarducci sings the song while breaking through various scenarios: Giant Puppet Heads; Bob Dylan with tambourine singing a “Gather” song; attending an LGBWXYZ Pride Rally; etc.

    Irrevently yours [smile],

  2. Elaine Vaccaro says:

    My favorite lyric — it’s a toss up between:

    1. Humala bebel Beelzebub – oops!


    2. Won’t some cute bishop come and rescue me

    Thanks, Fr. Z. Now that tune will be in my head the rest of the weekend.

  3. JustaSinner says:

    Can we get David Lee Roth to reprise the vocals for this?

  4. teomatteo says:

    Nicely done. (And may Prima and k.Smith r.i.p)

  5. Ellen says:

    I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one who thought of David Lee Roth. This is funny as can be. Poor St. Ignatius, I know the current crop of Jesuits wasn’t what he envisioned when he founded the order.

  6. acardnal says:

    Enjoyed the instrumental you found on YouTube.

    St. Robert Bellarmine, SJ, pray for us.

Comments are closed.