July 6th, 2023
Dear Diary,
Fr. Janosh* over in the Black Duck diocese is definitely connected to the “Polish mafia” – all the Polish priests know each other! We asked him a couple of years ago if he could help find an extra priest for us, and he found one that was willing to help us out here in Libville for a few years. This Polish priest has a much less daunting name: Novak. A good American name. Juri Novak. He’s been here six months. I asked him if he’s had Juri Duty yet, but he just stared at me. Not sure he got that. I thought it was pretty good. But he says he’s settling in fine at St Cashmir. Thickest accent you ever heard! Kinda like Dracula, but that’s okay. He said last time, “Beeshop, I am fine here. I love America. I am happy you welcome me here. In rectory we have refrigerator, new, like one in your kitchen. All the time play Katy Perry! Polish people here get for me new car. Murano car like your. Maybe soon I be beeshop!” On second thought I wonder what his game is. I better watch him. Chester growls at him, but that’s not much of a compass.
Inner city parishes still problems. I gotta get a religious community and give them one, because there are not a lot of deep pockets there. That’s the best solution. Give these poorer parishes to the Orders. When its time for the draticum the Order chips in and makes up the difference! How clever is that? Franciscans maybe? After all, the Franciscans are richer than God! It’s like one of those things that not even the Holy Spirit knows. What Jesuits really think… How much they really know. What Dominicans really think. How many… Gotta ask Fr Tommy. Time to give him a call.
___
*Fr Janusz Włotrzewiszczykowycki-Brzęczyszczykiewic, Polish, is a priest of the Oratory of Mary Cause of Our Joy in the neighboring Diocese of Black Duck near the University. They say the Traditional Latin Mass and have a full house. When asked about his complicated name, he says he legally joined them, one his father’s and the other his mother’s, to annoy government bureaucrats.
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” to annoy government bureaucrats.”
A man after my heart!
“They say the Traditional Latin Mass and have a full house”
Is there a glimmer of insight here? maybe?
Hey, I think I went to school with Fr. Janusz’s cousin, Stan W?otrzewiszczykowycki! We called him Kovitch. It was in NE Minneapolis in the late 80s, and he was that kid who had a lightning bolt shaved into the hair above his left ear.
He was always heckling the religion teacher, Ms. Mawkish, who was actually the girls’ volleyball coach. The day in senior year when she assigned us to make collages about our spirituality, using women’s magazines, he was so obnoxious he had to be sent out. As he was marched down the hall we could hear him hollering, “Vatican Two, baby! That’s why we gotta make collages!” The other kids from Northeast kept snickering. (As I recall, Ms. Mawkish didn’t much like the resulting collages.)
calls to mind my favorite Polish joke: Polish guy goes to the eye doctor. “What’s the smallest line you can read on the chart?” “My uncle’s name!”
Yes, I understand the strategy of +Atticus. My home parish, in reality, one time an Irish Catholic one, now Hispanic, was given to a religious order. Polish pastor, no less, fluent in Spanish, degree in bioethics, is one of the most gifted pastors I ever met. But +Atticus’ strategy will not work long term. Alas, most religious orders also have decreasing numbers and cannot maintain commitments to bishops like +Atticus.