ASK FATHER: Definition and the duties of a pastoral associate. 

From a reader…

QUAERITUR:

Please send me the definition and the duties of a pastoral associate.

A pastoral associate is an ordained minister, assigned by the bishop, as distinguished from a lay person with some parish job, paid or volunteer, who serves at the will of the pastor.

The associate is a discreet priestly operative charged with preserving the Catholic Faith in a parish whose pastor is determined to improve upon it.

His duties include rescuing discarded statues, hiding tambourines, and introducing Gregorian chant as an exciting innovation recommended by the latest synodal (“walking together”) session.

He must tactfully intercept absurdities from the liturgy planning committee, protect elderly ladies who still pray the Rosary, defend the last useable confessional against conversion into a broom closet, and persuade the pastor that incense is both environmentally sustainable and pastorally inclusive.

Essential qualifications include orthodoxy, a working knowledge of canon law, the ability to smile for long periods of time, and the ability to endure interminable meetings about radical hospitality without throwing anything.

A pastoral associate exercises no authority whatsoever, although he is personally responsible for everything that goes wrong. He may offer suggestions and must remain cheerful when the pastor attributes anything he does to himself and the Renewal Committee.

His compensation consists principally of opportunities for heroic virtue.

His sole recognized right is Christian burial, although even that is not guaranteed, since the pastor of whatever parish he is buried from may prefer a Celebration of Life featuring balloons and interpretive dance.

Note: While in some places the fancy title “parochial vicar” is employed, also heard in the wild are the terms “associate” and “assistant”.  There should be no confusion about these last two, because, in any event, the first three letters are the same.