From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 25-04-16 – Meeting about updating liturgy in the diocese

EDITOR’S NOTE: This entry seemed particularly apropos, given today’s news of the cruelty of the Bishop of Charlotte, NC.

_____

16 April 2025

Dear Diary,

Today was the sort of day that makes you long for an undisclosed sabbatical and a lot of Crown Royal.  It was about that draft on “Liturgical Unity and Contemporary Expression” from Dozer* that Vice and McSwiney have been pushing at me because according to them “its what Rome wants”.  My old chum Dozer did something like this over in Pie Town and now that he’s on the bishops liturgy committee he’s throwing his weight around the state kinda onimously.  So I get the priests of the diocese gathered for what was billed as a “fraternal consultation” but before that I asked Fr. Tommy to do me a favor and ask around a little, spread a rumor here and there about the draft so that it would be pretty dead when I got everyone in the room.  I’m not into this stuff, but sheesh, the draft is like a grudge against… beauty?  “Ad oriwhazit”… the “back to the people” thing is too “directional” which is kinda the point, Latin is too “exclusionary” which it kinda is, lace “antiquated and feminine” which is hard to disagree with, bells “auditory clutter” which I don’t get ’cause I like them, birettas “costume drama” – big deal, it’s a hat, and black vestments are “macabre”, every other word is “pastoral” which is a load of crap, of course.  I’m not much into those things.  Fun once in a while.  But they make a lot of people happy and that counts!  Collections count too!

The draft wants what Bp. Jude when I asked him called “a mass deforestation of anything remotely traditional” and that it would make liturgies look like hotel conference meetings.  “But go ahead and try, if that’s what you really want.  It sure would be courageous.  You’ll enjoy the fallout.”  He’s knows me, darn him.

I didn’t know what to do. Frankly, I’d rather do a Chester and EAT a biretta than get between the chancery ideologues, the McSwiney** crowd, and Fr. Tommy and the younger guys with their maniples. So, I punted. “Let’s hear from the presbyterate,” I said, hoping they’d just handle it for me like a liturgical jury and get me off the hook.

Well, they did. Ninety percent at least, more probly – even Fr. Jerry who once held a yoga retreat in the sanctuary said a firm “nope”. Chad “Jazz Hands” Mallory stood up and rejected it outright saying that, yeah, he sort of agrees with the goal but right now it would tear things apart. Fr. Axel, who’s so progressive he tried to baptize a rescue ferret last year, stood up and said, “This is neither pastoral nor sensible. It’s just ugly.”  Naturally “Just Call Me Bruce”*** was all for it but he was glared into retreat by the boys.

Fr. Tommy, God bless him and the young guys, they did their work.

Ah, yes—the sandwiches for the meeting. Who decided on humus and elfalfa sprouts? Msgr. Hubble took a bite and whispered to me “This tastes like penance.” Fr. Biggins, who’s been on a diet since Vatican I, tossed his into a ficus pot.

In the end, I walked out relieved, though starving, and fully aware Dozer will be on me soon. I’ll practice my deep listening face, as Sr. Randi calls it, and take him out to Razzo’s for some shrimp scampi.

This should all blow over by the September convocation.

___

*Bp. Antuninu “Dozer” Ruspe is in the neighboring Diocese of Pie Town. +F. Atticus often copies what his old classmate Dozer does to his parishes.  Not called “Dozer” for nothing, he consolidated in a program called “That They May All Be One”.

**Msgr McSwiney is rector of “Spirit and Truth” Cathedral.

***Fr. “Just Call Me Bruce” Hugalot is community animator (“pastor) at Sing A New Faith Community Into Being Faith Community.

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Items of interest

I bring to your attention something I found which was uplifting: An American tale with an American pope It’ll take just a few seconds to read.

Next, Jesuits (who else) pray to … wait for it… the demon “Pachamama”.  HERE

On March 31, Jesuits in a region of Spain issued a brochure in celebration of ‘Mother Earth Day’ which featured a prayer to the pagan ‘god’ pachamama.

This is lunatic stuff, but it is dangerous lunacy, because it invokes a demon.

Next, there is a lunatic in Rome who says that the “Catholics of Rome” have to have a “conclave” to elect a legitimate Pope.  This fellow has been around for quite a while promoting for himself some seriously loony things.  If it weren’t so pathetic, it might have a funny side.  HERE (but if you have a lot to do, don’t bother).

Next, Raymond Arroyo and Robert Royal and Fr. Gerald Murray have coagulated for another video under the title of the “Prayerful” Posse (rather than “Papal”… I’m guess that there are copyright issues with EWTN).   They talk about Pope Leo XIV (pace the goofball in the post, above).  HERE.  This is worth some time.

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ROME 25/5– Day 42: elegant but low impact

I’m happy to report that the sun did rise over Rome at 5:41 and that it did set at 20:33. However I was in my bedroom for the first and in a restaurant for the later (where I ran into the “windy cardinal” in lay clothes with another cardinal in mufti). We were not far from the prosciutto carving rack with its severely sharp long knife, but there wasn’t time to chat.  He locked eyes for a moment and surely knew he’d been recognized, so they brushed by and slithered onto the rain dampened cobbles to vanish up the Via Pollarola.  Chickens.  Namely… the street name refers to the fact that chickens were once sold there.  My barber is also in that street, who has multiple sharp objects.  For cutting hair.

The Ave Maria Bell was to be rung at 21:00. Notice the change?

BTW… the prosciutto remark refers to the fact that the first really sweet melons are coming now and we are getting prosciutto e melone. It’s an anticipation of Heaven.   It helps to slice prosciutto very thin.

Speaking of instruments of work.

THAT knife is a clue that some water critter is about to arrive.

I met German friend, long time read and donor, tonight for supper.  We both agreed that lunch supper lunch supper lunch supper was getting to us, so we opted for elegant but low impact.

We both had the same thing.  The heavy part was the conversation.

And… at The Parish™, The Pastor™ doing what needs to be done before evening Mass.

And walking home.

For supper we had wine, but as I was eating I thought, “Wow, this would be great with BEER from Norcia!”

I’m too tired to write about chess.

Just buy some beer, please.

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From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 25-04-21: Receiving news that the Pope died

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Over the last few weeks, I have met readers who have come to Rome. Several have asked me how Bp. Fatty has been, since there haven’t been any entries from his diary.  Dear readers, I can’t provide what I don’t have!  “I can’t make bricks without straw!”  The source had to go back to her native place for a while due to a family emergency.  The good news is that she is back. Select pages are again coming over the digital transom.  There’s a lot of backlog, but for obvious reasons she sent some of the more recent pages.

April 21, 2025

Dear Diary,

Pope Francis has gone to his eternal reward.  At least I hope reward.  I sincerely pray for him.  I always had the feeling that he was maybe kinda a little out of his depth… kinda like me, truth be told to you, Dear Diary, but different of course.  You have to like a lot of things F did but he could come off as pretty scary and grouchy.  That isn’t me at all.  Fr. Tommy gave me the news via a really late early phone call.   I could hear a lot of laughter and happy noises in the far background and I suspect there might have been a bit of that LagOfVilin he likes, something.  Tastes like an ashtray, to me. T apologized for being snarky when he said he hoped St. Peter asks him to explain “footnote three hunderd” something. Whatever that is.  A movie?

Here’s the weird thing.  I was already awake for Fr T’s call! Chester – I swear that dog has supernatural powers started howling just before the phone rang.  I’m talking to T and there’s this crash sound in the living room. T hanged up and I rolled into the living room.  There he is, chewing up the frame and photo of THE POPE I had on the wall by the bookcase.  How he got it down I’ll never know.  I guess Chester was ready for a new Pope.

What I’m praying for now is a Pope who isn’t so moody, or at least comes with a user manual.  Jesuit, right? Those interviews and remarks created endless HEADACHES for us bishops with people asking what the hell he meant by this or that.  It was enough to cause panic attacks.  And all the beeess about the old Latin Mass. ULCERS.  Is that what Tommy was talking about?  I want a guy who smiles a lot and maybe doesn’t do much.  They tell me there is an Italian cardinal named Pizzabama who’d be good.  With a name like that I’m all in! Maybe he could throw in a Marian year every now to give us a good reason to go to Rome for a couple weeks.  Devotions. Pizza. Wine. Devotions. More Pizza!  Viva Papa Pizza!

I didn’t much sleep after that with different bishops and old friends calling.  Father Gilbert walked into my office this morning in full black morning attire – HA ! my little joke – morning! – but he seemed really sad. He even refused his usual hazelnut coffee. This is serious, I thoughtI had him find reasons to dodge the calls from the local newsies all day long.  But G isn’t T.  Which reminds me of a good gin and tonic.  I hope the dodges worked.

Today would have been easier with Fr T here.  Why did I do that, anyway?

So it’s another Pope.  Who knows what this time.  Some calm for a while.  After all, I’m getting older and frankly Franky – heh – made a lot of unnecessary problems for us, even when we were pretty much on board.  Is that too much to ask?

Until then, I remain in hopeful morning, mood helped by some spiffy cake.  Some of the ladies of the Ladies Sodality of something at saint wherever left some sheet cake after a thing here.  They still have those groups!  It has cherry frosting.  Chester’s vacyuming up the crumbs in the kitchen.  HAH! DESSERT!

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“if only to feel normal again, just for a short while”

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ROME 25/5– Day 41: It almost turned my tongue inside out

I begin to tear up as I realize I am in my last days…

Sunrise: 5:42

Sunset: 20:32

A… yeah yeah… 20:25

I slept a lot today. I think I finally understand this to be a relief from a kind of PTSD. Moral Injury.

Anyone else feeling that?

Before supper I visited the church around the corner (literally!) with the remains of St Pipo.

Maybe someone with a kind and warm heart will tackle this lovely epitaph.  You want to cry all over.

Supper with a highly visible and read and watched Catholic commentator:

Zucchini flowers.

The bitterest amaro on the planet:

Actually, now I think of it.. there are worse.  It was great but it was not.  It wasn’t one of those where they leave the bottle on the table.  When they do that, … well we need  whole post about that.

 

Lastly,….. BUY NORCIA BEER!

The just put out a new edition of the PRE-55 MISSALE ROMANUM.

This is important.

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SSPX-USA Letter about Pope Leo XIV

The following is a letter on the election of Pope Leo XIV from Fr. John Fullerton, the District Superior of the Society of Saint Pius X in the United States.  HERE  My emphases and comments.

Dear faithful,

The election of Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost as the 267th Pope of the Catholic Church has been a momentous occasion. Taking the name Leo XIV, it seems that everyone from professional “Vaticanists” to the everyman in the pew is scrutinizing every word uttered from the Sovereign Pontiff’s lips and every gesture he makes in public. Moreover, the entire pontificate of his predecessor, Leo XIII, is being examined to see if it may provide some insight into what the future holds for Leo XIV’s reign and, indeed, the Catholic Church.  [Hey! Wait!  What if in accepting the election Prevost really said “Lío” not “Leo”?!?  After all, he does have a bit of an American accent in his Latin.   Think about it.  /ironic fun trolling/]

As an apostolate of the Catholic Church, the Society of Saint Pius X (SSPX) [I have argued in the past that they seem at least to have a status as an association of the faithful.] prays for Pope Leo XIV at every Mass and offers prayers daily for the success of his reign. The task he has been called to is formidable. The state of the world appears dire, and the Church remains beset by a crisis that has lasted for nearly six decades. Now this man, born and raised in our own country, is charged with the care of 1.4 billion souls across the globe. As such, it is imperative that all of us—the priests, religious, and lay faithful who attend the Society’s chapels—pour out our prayers for the Pope with all the fervor we can muster.

I know it is tempting to go on social media to see what the “experts” are saying about this Pontiff. Certainly, his past statements on some of the most polarizing issues in the Church are a matter of public record. However, I would encourage you not to be overly influenced by the “online world” and especially in these early days of his pontificate. In a spirit of charity, I would urge all of us to keep the Holy Father in your prayers and hold him in your hearts.

For our part, we pray that, with the help of God’s grace, we will continue the mission of our heavenly patron, St. Pius X, to “restore all things in Christ,” especially the Sacred Traditions of Holy Mother Church while continuing to form holy priests who will travel this great land of ours—the land of Pope Leo XIV—to provide the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and all sacraments to the faithful in accordance with the traditional Roman Rite.

May Pope Leo XIV faithfully fill the shoes of St. Peter and strengthen the faithful, spread the Gospel, and never waver in telling the world that what it needs above all else is Our Lord Jesus Christ, whose death and resurrection gives all men and women hope of eternal life.

Priests of the SSPX whom I have met – NB: In the USA! – have been outstanding.  As a matter of fact, in one of my darkest hours as a priest not so long ago, when priests of the diocese where I was treated me with silence and distance, two of the three locally involved priests who contacted me to see if I needed anything were from the local SSPX chapel.

Some time later, in speaking with one of their regional superiors, I learned how much at the heart of what they do as a “fraternity of priests” is aimed precisely at helping priests, SSPX, religious, diocesan, any who are jammed up.

There’s always more to the story, friends.

There’s more to Leo XIV, too.  We have to give him time for him to get his bearings.

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Leo XIV: “a very ‘say the black, do the red’ kind of priest”

It’s great to see a phrase you have popularized for so long that people now use it rather commonly.

It’s even better when that phrase is used to describe our new Pope Leo XIV.

Also of note in that screen shot

  • he always wore a chasuble, regardless of the comfort
  • he knows that the Sacrament of Penance is liturgical

Frankly, he could also have said cassock with surplice and stole.

And…

Click

 

 

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“Shut up, pray for the man, keep doing your thing and stay out of sight. Winter is not over. The wolves are not dead yet.” HERE

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ROME 25/5– Day 40: Pure joy

At 5:43 the sun rose upon Rome. It will set at 20:31.

Were the Ave Maria Bell to ring, it would do so for the Curia at 20:45.

Welcome registrant:

SPLisa

Today is the Feast of St Aurea of Ostia, martyr.

It is also the Feast of St. Bernardin of Siena (+1444), the most dynamic speaker of his era.  He was deeply devoted to the Most Holy Name.  Bernardin was a fierce preacher against the sin of sodomy.  For example:

“No sin in the world grips the soul as the accursed sodomy; this sin has always been detested by all those who live according to God.… Deviant passion is close to madness; this vice disturbs the intellect, destroys elevation and generosity of soul, brings the mind down from great thoughts to the lowliest, makes the person slothful, irascible, obstinate and obdurate, servile and soft and incapable of anything; furthermore, agitated by an insatiable craving for pleasure, the person follows not reason but frenzy.… They become blind and, when their thoughts should soar to high and great things, they are broken down and reduced to vile and useless and putrid things, which could never make them happy…. Just as people participate in the glory of God in different degrees, so also in hell some suffer more than others. He who lived with this vice of sodomy suffers more than another, for this is the greatest sin.”  (Prediche volgari s. 39)

A while back I mentioned the bar/cafe on the Campo de Fiori where I often meet people for a pre-prandial and the owner’s dog.  At a certain point fido goes into the piazza, turns and starts barking back the bar.  Then, out comes the pink flamingo toy which conveys this furry critter into paroxysms of joy.   Today, I was walking past the place just as the ecstasy had begun.

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These are the tiny strawberries, fragoline, from Nemi south of Rome.  Here I’ve prepared them with lemon and sugar.  This is the best time of the season for fragoline.  The traditional pinnacle is the Feast of St. Phili Neri.

The classic ways of serving these little berries is with lemon or balsamic vinegar or white wine.

White to move and mate in 4. HERE

Yes, there is also a daily puzzle in addition to what is above.  The one above to too instructive not to share.

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