Advent Penance Service Idiocy

From a friend.

WARNING TO MALE READERS: Simply reading the text in the images, below, may compromise your testosterone level.   Imagine what reading aloud might do.

This idiocy was perpetrated on the People of God at a parish. It came with the note:

“Just the latest from a parish – the one with 60 minutes of confessions per month.”

Give us a share of that divine innocence that … what?  that… made Zachary a mute until his boy’s bris?

It must have taken monumental self-control not to break out in laughter.

An hour total time for confessions… total… in a month… and then they do this crap?

Priests and bishops who are probably going to Hell

You would think that this sort of thing would have washed out with the demise of cabbage patch kids.

UPDATE:

But wait!  There’s more.  Another sheet came in.

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
This entry was posted in GO TO CONFESSION, Liberals, SESSIUNCULA, You must be joking! and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to Advent Penance Service Idiocy

  1. Dismas says:

    Quick! What year is this!?

  2. Gaetano says:

    I thought worst of the 1970’s weirdness went extinct in the early 90’s.

    It appears that the “Spirit of Vatican II” – like herpes – went dormant for a period before another outbreak.

  3. glennbcnu says:

    Wow…….just…..wow….and so sad…… “when the earth was flat”???? Wow…..

  4. Cicero_NOLA says:

    “Beside talk of your Church being renewed, we recognize the bondage to failed patterns of the past,” indeed. This pamphlet is Exhibit A.

  5. Ave Crux says:

    This staggers belief…..it is so “out there” it seems like the product of a psychotic mind. My jaw dropped as I read it…..IS THIS REAL??!! Who wrote this nonsense? Did people actually sit there taking this seriously and not feel repulsed by it all as this text was read……? I would have walked out.

  6. Ave Crux says:

    And this?? “When You came wearing no more than diapers”…..??!

    This is pure trash…..

  7. OctoberSun says:

    A copy-paste of some of this into a search engine appears to reveal that various Presbyterian and Methodist churches have utilized this text as early as 2010… Smh :’)

  8. “When the earth was flat.” Sigh. This is an anti-Catholic lie invented by Washington Irving in his (pseudo)biography of Columbus. As any educated person should know, the ancient Greeks (and medieval Christians) knew it a was a sphere and were basically right about its size.

    If you are interested in how and why this meme was fabricated by Irving and continues to be exploited my bigots, see J. B. Russell’s Inventing the Flat Earth: https://www.amazon.com/Inventing-Flat-Earth-Columbus-Historians/dp/027595904X

    From historically illiterate clergy, spare us, O Lord!

  9. Gab says:

    I went to one of these “events” last year. Quite frankly, I didn’t see the point of it all. It seemed to be more a token gesture than real confession of sins and receiving absolution.

    Nothing but nothing beats Confession in the manner it has been carried out for centuries.

  10. richiedel says:

    Not only is the concept of personal sin undermined with the celebration of this communal reconciliation service, but even collective sin according to the program has been reduced to either suspecting angels or disbelieving good news.

  11. JonPatrick says:

    Yes I think I smell a rat – a large “Spirit of Vatican 2” rat.

  12. Bthompson says:

    The bad one-color art, the worse overdone and apoetic words, I thought this WAS a reprint or rediscovery of something from the 1970s. The 2018 date was a real shocker.

  13. Grabski says:

    Don’t we have a reconciliation service in each Mass where we remember our venial sins?

  14. BrionyB says:

    What an utterly bizarre text. You would think that, say, one of the penitential Psalms would be more appropriate. I wonder whether the person responsible didn’t realise they existed, or just thought they could do better?

    I also wonder what they were smoking at the time…

  15. JustaSinner says:

    As my very wise 16 year old daughter says:
    “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premise!”

  16. Benedict Joseph says:

    Hurling…

  17. WmHesch says:

    Would the correspondent be good as to let us know whether this thing ended with an Option 3 General Absolution?

  18. _Dan_ says:

    Not sure which is worse, this or the hellish cacophony of the “children’s bell choir” we had to endure during mass yesterday at our parish.

  19. majuscule says:

    So is the phrase “and do something different” supposed to take the place of “to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life”?

  20. acardnal says:

    I betcha ten bucks there is a so called “minister of liturgy” at this parish.

  21. William says:

    I assume that this is followed by a general absolution and no individual auricular confession.

  22. LarryW2LJ says:

    Our parish Advent Penance Service was this past Saturday morning. 4 Confessionals occupied and lines were pleasantly long. It was good to see so many come out for “real” Confession.

  23. Hidden One says:

    Now is a good time for us all to implore God’s mercy for those who thought this event was a good idea.

  24. Ellen says:

    This is so bizarre our local Unitarian-Universalist church would probably pass on it.

  25. Malta says:

    Even before I became Catholic, in my teens I listened to Gregorian Chant. I would go into a church and see a huge screen above the altar with the words to a song like this at my college: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcxOkht8w7c Every word dotted for the congregation to sing along to. I would walk out with my arm over my mouth to keep from throwing-up. It would take me many more years to convert.

  26. NBW says:

    Unfortunately the spirit of Vatican II lives on. There is not one mention of the name Jesus. It is total rubbish and I feel sorry for my brothers and sisters that have to endure that kind of garbage that is being passed as the faith.

  27. richiedel says:

    Grabski,

    That’s called the Penitential Act and it’s part of the Mass, not a service unto itself. And, if it were a sort of communal reconciliation service, such would then beg the question why we’d need to have another, separate service outside of Mass. Could it be because such services are being used to substitute the people’s celebration of another sacrament by which they’d otherwise be individually confessing their sins in the actual sacrament of Reconciliation?

  28. DMorgan says:

    How long Oh Lord?

  29. Dismas says:

    I don’t see a scenario where, had I gone to this, I would not be escorted out of the building.

    It would start with a quiet chuckle, eventually bursting forth into echoing guffaws, followed by croaking gasps for air. By the time I’m dragged out, I’d be begging in a hyperventilated falsetto for the bathroom.

    Lastly, it looks like somebody forgot Evil Overlord #12.

  30. Suburbanbanshee says:

    John Bell is a decent songwriter, as long as he reins in the “originality,” and he can have a real feel for traditional Celtic song at times. But along about verse 3, he starts in with this stuff. Unfortunately, by letting him go wild, without music or a rhyme scheme, the problem obviously has gotten worse.

    He means well. But he needs an editor.

    St. Alphonsus Liguori, songwriter among other things, pray for us.

  31. MrsMacD says:

    Spiritual abuse.

  32. teomatteo says:

    Upon reading the first page I would have opened it slowly and perused- and finding further idiocy, setting it on the pew and backing cautiously to the rear of the church and then as I approached the door bust into a frantic sprint to the parking lot. And speaking of Lot- I would not have turned to look back.

  33. It does have one true line: “We admit ourselves to be both infected and affected by the spirit of our times.”

    Won’t get any argument from me there!

  34. William says:

    Is the redundancy “priest confessor” a common term? In the context of a church like this, I worry that there may be such a thing as a “lay confessor.”

    At least I was wrong with my earlier comment. Hopefully I’m wrong about this thought, too.

  35. arga says:

    The priests who dreamed this up should be locked in a room and forced to listen to “Taste and See,” played continuously for 72 hours.