The Winters of Our Discontent (AUDIO)

AUDIO version below


Does the sight of several yards of red silk cause you to break out in a sweat, even if only a little, and start to tremble? Do your fingers start to tingle? Do you get the inexplicable urge to tweet about a certain canonist, known for his adroit pastoral skills, his incisive commentary, and his deep love for the Church?

Do you find yourself making outrageous comments like “It is time for him to be removed, and to go as quietly as possible”? HERE

Do your friends dart their eyes uncomfortably in your presence when you go on and on and blather about his “twisted view of the world,” HERE Do they cough and try to change the subject while you make your venomous ad hominem attacks? HERE

Do you lapse into a spittle-flaked nutty when someone mentions canon law? What about the constant and consistent teachings of the Church regarding the nature of marriage? When people speak of the sinfulness of sexual activity outside of marriage and the unnaturalness of homosexual inclinations do you swoon upon your fainting couch?

If you have experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have Burke Derangement Syndrome™.

Don’t despair. There is good news. It can be cured with just a few simple steps!

A week retreat at a lovely shrine can be arranged to help you with the initial stages of recovery. Here you’ll bask in the healthful glow of the Church’s rich sacramental and liturgical life, and start to feel the healing balm of a devotional life centered not on protesting, riding buses with nuns, and worrying about silly things like the progressive agenda. Slowly your animus towards traditional piety and the comforting embrace of canon law will move you beyond the first step of acknowledging your problem toward a holistic integration. And everyone knows that holistic integration is important!

After your retreat, to foster additional healing, we recommend purchasing a copy of Divine Love Made Flesh and Remaining in the Truth of Christ. Expose your heart and soul to the healing balm of a truly great Churchman, with an obvious love both for Christ and for the People of God.   The experience can be deepened through imbibing Mystic Monk Coffee as you read.

But wait!  There’s more!

Once you feel the effects of normalcy reassert themselves in your nervous system, it will be most salubrious to attend a Pontifical Mass celebrated by the holy Cardinal who was once the catalyst for your psychological condition. Rather than eliciting paroxysms of unpleasant logorrhea and episodes of the vapors, the sight of a cappa magna will cause your heart and soul to leap to new heights as you begin to enter into the Tradition of our Holy Mother the Church. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself longing for a regular dose of Tradition. You’ll have less and less in common with the false “friends” with whom you once shared the dangerous disorder of…

Burke Derangement Syndrome™.

Brought to you by …

Mystic Monk Coffee

“It’s Swell!”

… and …

The Zed-Heads

“You’re all going to die!”

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
This entry was posted in Liberals, Lighter fare, PODCAzT, Throwing a Nutty and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. lsclerkin says:

    Hee hee. :)

  2. McCall1981 says:

    Father, your cure needs a catchy prescription sounding name (“Ask your doctor if Burkestra is right for you”), and a commercial where good looking people walk on the beach, ride bikes in the park, etc.

    Fr. Z's Gold Star Award

  3. gloriainexcelsis says:

    I would hope that Cardinal Burke’s derangement is a seriously infectious disease, with clergy of all stripes being highly susceptible.

  4. John Grammaticus says:

    I on the other hand suffer form exactly the opposite condition, “Burke Adoration Syndrome” , sufferers must remember that His Eminence is NOT His Holiness……. yet

  5. Joe in Canada says:

    I move in circles that are pretty much stuck in the years from 1968 to 1985. I am a fan of Cardinal Burke and try hard to move people towards a greater understanding of the Faith and the Liturgy that saves.

    That having been said, the vast majority of people with whom I engage in talk about church issues who are aware of such things (fellow religious, priests, etc), react to the cappa magna as would a bull. It is the biggest block to considering his thoughts for a lot of people. I encourage them to ignore it, and to listen to him rather than look at him if that helps, but it just keeps getting in the way. Even when people listen to what I have to say, eventually they go back to “but what about those clothes?” and stop listening.

    That having been said, 99% of the people I minister to have never heard of Cardinal Burke and so fortunately do not put his thoughts together with his clothes. I can present his thoughts quite simply as the thoughts of the Church, and they get that.

  6. Rachel says:

    I’m so glad to see this important public service announcement about Burke Derangement Syndrome™ because I was just coming over here to share David Mills’ revelation that Burke is a verb!

    Definition of BURKE
    transitive verb
    1. to suppress quietly or indirectly
    2. bypass, avoid
    Origin of BURKE
    from burke to suffocate, from William Burke †1829 Irish criminal executed for smothering victims to sell their bodies for dissection
    First Known Use: 1829

  7. Supertradmum says:

    The man is a saint and all saints are signs of contradiction in the world, so, ergo, Burke Derangement.

  8. KM Edwards says:

    I often find myself complaining about our clerics – Cd Burke is one man who deserves a serious round of applause and lots of encouragement. Join the on line petition at Lifesitenews to thank Cardinal Burke for his service at the Vatican and at the recent Synod at:

  9. yatzer says:

    So Burke is a verb similar to Bork (in the USA anyhow.)

  10. Marissa says:

    I made the huge mistake of doing this very thing yesterday. Some of the comments there are just as bad, if not worse, than the kind of thing I’ve read from sedevacantists about the Holy Father. They call Cardinal Burke “Batman” and all kinds of childish nonsense — never an actual intellectual argument, of course.

  11. Sonshine135 says:

    I have heard that felt banners, drums, guitars, wooden tables, and inclusive liturgical language can aggrivate the symptoms of BDS. I recommend substituting them with statues, high altars, pipe organs, Gregorian Chant, and Eucharistic Adoration for ongoing therepy.

  12. JesusFreak84 says:

    If I wasn’t at work, I would’ve laughed HARD XD

  13. Torpedo1 says:

    Thank you, I really needed that laugh today… Burkestra, brailliant!
    Along with happy people having picnics and riding bikes and such, it should have a disclaimer about side-effects and the like. “Burkestra is not for everyone. People who believe traditional, orthodox practices and liturgy will save Catholic identity, people who are attending properly celebrated Ordinary form, or who are planning on attending an extraordinary form Mass, should not take Burkestra. Other side-effects can include, a sense of calm, a growing disillusionment with former friends or political parties, lack of angry outburst and a lack of insomnia and night sweats. If you experience a Mass lasting longer than 45 minutes, contact your doctor right away.”
    Had to. I just couldn’t get this side-effects thing out of my head.

  14. marcelus says:

    Cardinal Raymond Burke has said he is at the service of Pope Francis, has no personal animosity towards him, and those who claim the American cardinal is an opponent of the Pontiff are trying to discredit him.
    The head of the Vatican’s highest court also told Breitbart Tuesday the Catholic Church risks schism if bishops are seen to “go contrary” to the Church’s established and unchangeable dogmas in the months ahead.
    The Vatican prelate was speaking in Vienna Tuesday, at the launch of the German translation of Remaining in the Truth of Christ, a book to which he contributed. The work is a response to Cardinal Walter Kasper’s proposal to allow some remarried divorcees to have access to holy Communion. The Catholic Church has always barred such a possibility, based on Christ’s teaching that remarrying after divorce constitutes adultery.
    “Certain media simply want to keep portraying me as living my life as an opponent to Pope Francis,” he said. “I am not at all. I’ve been serving him in the Apostolic Signatura and in other ways I continue to serve him.”
    The Wisconsin-born prelate was responding to comments he made in an interview he gave the Spanish weekly Vida Nueva last week. The article misconstrued him as criticizing the Pope–despite his stressing in the interview that he was not at odds with Francis.
    He told the Spanish publication there is a “strong sense” the Church is like a “ship without a helm, whatever the reason for this may be.” But he made it clear in the interview he was not “speaking out” against the Pontiff. He said the Pope is right to call on Catholics to “go out to the peripheries” but added “we cannot go to the peripheries empty-handed.”
    “I wasn’t saying that the Holy Father’s idea is this,” he explained, “but I’ve seen other people using his words to justify a kind of ‘accommodation’ of the faith to the culture which can never be so.”

  15. frahobbit says:

    The legalese at the end almost made me choke laughing.

  16. frodo says:

    salubrious. epic word of the day

  17. Johnny Domer says:

    Speaking of Burke Derangement…is it at all significant that for the last two months he was “going to be removed imminently,” that he himself predicted he’d receive the official word of it before the end of October, and yet it still hasn’t happened?

    Is there any possibility that maybe His Holiness saw how much support Burke and his positions had at the Synod, how he was elected to lead his English “Circulus,” and perhaps is rethinking the decision to fire him? [It’s possible.] Have Cardinals Pell, Mueller, et al. (dare I even mention a certain man in white who referred to Burke as a “great cardinal”) maybe done some behind-the-scenes lobbying for Burke, that we obviously wouldn’t be privy to? Would the Holy Father possibly want to avoid the appearance of deliberately demoting a Cardinal solely BECAUSE of his defense of a position that a vast majority of the bishops either respect or agree with?

    This may all be pie-in-the-sky hopefulness. I’m sure these hopes will be dashed soon. But every day, I open my browser, checking the blogs to see if this is the day that Burke is removed. Every day, he’s still there. We roll further and further into November, and there he is: giving interviews, celebrating Mass in St. Peter’s, being his usual awesome self. Still head of the Signatura.

    Could we be looking at a full-fledged Burke Derangement Pandemic?

  18. robtbrown says:

    Joe in Canada says,

    That having been said, the vast majority of people with whom I engage in talk about church issues who are aware of such things (fellow religious, priests, etc), react to the cappa magna as would a bull. It is the biggest block to considering his thoughts for a lot of people. I encourage them to ignore it, and to listen to him rather than look at him if that helps, but it just keeps getting in the way. Even when people listen to what I have to say, eventually they go back to “but what about those clothes?” and stop listening.

    If they don’t like Cardinal Burke because of the cappa magna, it might surprise them to see a former Australian Rules Football player in the same get up.

  19. Mario Bird says:

    SCENE I. A barque.

    Enter WINTER, solus.


    Now is the summer of our discontent
    Made glorious winter by this Jesuit sun;
    The mutiny won, the steering wheel secured,
    And Winter made a petty officer!
    And all the faith and reason press’d on us
    Now are, as truth resplendent, monochrome’d.
    Our far-eyed lookout cries from overhead:
    Pragmatic world! now dressed in black and white,
    Fades black and black, and the last eclipse
    Makes rainbows, blacks, whites, one and the same.
    Familiar consorts, our marriage barrier reef,
    Now passes ‘neath the barque, irrelevant,
    Our landfall promises a brave new world:
    A male and male, two females, triple-pairs,
    Now all are welcome in this bridal boat,
    Adroitly steered by land-lubbing helmsmen
    Caring not for idiosyncrasies
    Like anchors, rudders, maps, and compasses,
    But chains, whips, planks, powder, tinder, flint–
    And other instruments most practical.
    And I, that am so made for rout and ruin,
    Now relish thoughts of sweet, divine revenge
    Befalling those who warned of reefs and groundings.
    The fools! They realized not the power below,
    That current, swiftly bearing barques and men,
    Toward landfall (I believe the Germans best
    Pronounce it “Zeitgeist”). But, by any name,
    It is the power that moves and shapes the world.
    We see it clearly now, and worship thus.
    And those who don’t, well, hang ‘em! That’s the way
    To make our ship arrive at destiny’s berth.
    Though some may live with chains, there are those types
    Whose sad devotion to ancient religion
    Betokens but Promethean bootstrapping.
    We’ll have them not aboard my barque, for sure!
    Expunge them all, and cast them overboard!
    And only few remain now, anyway.
    But oh, they vex me, make my venom gush
    By row and row upon the printed page.
    Hang ‘em!
    But this is yet a subtle, blind intrigue,
    As terms of peace must first be offered them
    Before the treachery reached, so that the crew
    Suspects no thing, and does no thing untoward
    That might avert our precious, worldly course.
    Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
    Zuhlsdorf comes.

    Fr. Z's Gold Star Award

    [Although… this is a little ominous. Zuhlsdorf (= Clarence) is being conveyed unto the Tower under an arméd guard.]

  20. oldcanon2257 says:

    To cure their allergic reaction to the scarlet watered silk cappa magna, just show them the photo of His Eminence wearing the red galero with 15 tassels proper to a Cardinal of the Holy Roman Church.

    Those liberals/progressives/modernists are flooding the combox of the National Schismatic Reporter with nasty anti-Burke comments. The liberals are so predictable: they will always “ad homimem” you if they can’t win the argument. Those nasty venomous comments are detrimental to your spiritual health though, because 9 out of 10 times I have to go to confession after reading them.

    I remember a while ago some people attacked Archbishop Sample of Portland, Oregon like crazy for wearing a tall Roman-style golden mitre or precious mitre. To those people, I always get a kick showing them photos of the late Augustin Cardinal Bea (can’t get any more liberal/progressive than Cardinal Bea) and Angelo Cardinal Roncalli (future Pope John XXIII) and Karol Cardinal Wojtyla (future Pope John Paul II) in watered silk cappa magna, and of Pope John XXIII, Pope Paul VI, Pope John Paul I, et al in the tall mitres.

  21. friarpark says:

    Just realized I have ‘Divine Love Made Flesh’ on my Kindle. Perhaps I should read it.

  22. Mario Bird says:

    Thanks for the star!

    I’ll make sure you go down harder than Clarence–I’ve always thought that MacBeth’s diehard end was wasted on a villain.

    Do we know whether Chris Kennedy kills you off in his Theogony series?

  23. Mario Bird says: Chris Kennedy kills you off in his Theogony series?

    My fate in the last book didn’t look too good. But you never know! It’s science fiction!

    You could always ask him, you know.

  24. Bea says:

    Johnny Domer says:
    6 November 2014 at 4:37 pm
    Speaking of Burke Derangement…is it at all significant that for the last two months he was “going to be removed imminently,” that he himself predicted he’d receive the official word of it before the end of October, and yet it still hasn’t happened?

    I’d noted that:
    Perhaps PF doesn’t want the media to judge him as vindictive.
    Maybe he’s waiting for Synod flap to lose its’ momentum.
    Maybe he’s come to his senses? “But I can dream can’t I?”

    “I’m aware
    My heart is a sad affair
    There’s much disillusion there
    But I can dream, can’t I”
    ….Andrew Sisters 1938

  25. Iowa Mike says:

    This is stunning. I hope you sent one to Winters at the National Katholic Fish Wrap who banned me forever to questioning his heterodoxy/heresy. Well done, bravo…..fantastic!

  26. Athelstan says:

    A lot of folks fail to understand the ancient history and meaning of the cappa magna.

    But that said: At this point, I would be willing to trade off a complete ban on the cappa magna in exchange for a complete ban on all chasuble-albs and polyester vestments.

  27. Someone please be the Garrigue says:

    If I’m not mistaken, Mr. Winters and friends stayed on for a while after the Synod, and ended up doing a bit of moonlighting to pay for the hotel. They did a marvellous job pebble dashing Santa Maria in Traspontina — with spittle. :-)

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