Explanation of a how a Conclave works: another Roman dialect sonnet “der Belli”

It’s sede vacante time and all eyes are turned to Rome in anticipation of a conclave.

It is appropriate to have an expert explanation of exactly how a conclave works.  Forget the TV pundits and Know-It-Alls in the Catholic press.  For this we need a truly Roman perspective.

Here’s another sonnet in Romanaccio, the Roman dialect, by Giuseppe Gioacchino Belli.  He is Er Belli… THE Belli, “er” being the Roman for “il”.

He wrote seriously funny sonnets in the Roman dialect about life in Rome in the early 1800’s and aimed deadly satire at Rome’s clerics, religious, prelates and popes.

Belli’s sonnets are wickedly clever, with double-entendres and not a little obscenity. Romanaccio was – still is – very rough stuff and what on the surface is just vulgar to our ears now was sort of normal back when. Another thing to consider is that the Roman nobility spoke Romanaccio too. The count or prince of some major family and the vegetable stand guy in the square talked the same way … when in the square or street.

Speaking of double meanings, in today’s sonnet there is bocce ball imagery. An instance of double meaning is the word “lecco” which means a shot to get your ball next to the pallino (aka boccino) for a point. But “lecco” can also mean “a bribe”… which surely has NOTHING to do with conclaves! The mention of lead in the ball refers to a stud of lead in some bocce balls which, I guess, could be used for trick shots. However, that phrase also means, “one way or another”.

Here we go.

Here’s The Great Roman™ with another gift.

La spiegazzione der Concrave

Er Concrave de Roma, Mastro Checco,
tu lo chiami er Pretorio de Pilato.
Senti mó in che mmaggnèra io l’ho spiegato,
e ccojjoneme poi si nun ciazzecco.

A mmé ttutto st’impiccio ingarbujjato
me pare un gioco-lisscio secco secco:
ché cqua ttutto lo studio è dd’annà ar lecco,
llà ttutto er giro è dd’arrivà ar Papato.

Ccusí ’ggni Minentissimo è una bboccia,
che ss’ingeggna cqua e llà, ccor piommo o ssenza,
de metteje viscino la capoccia.

Fin che cc’è strada de passà ttra ’r mucchio
se prova de fà er tiro e cce se penza:
si nnò ss’azzarda e ss’aricorre ar trucchio.

This wasn’t easy.

The Explanation of a Conclave

The Roman Conclave, Master Frank,
you call the Praetorium of Pilate.
Listen now to how I’ve explained it
and bust my chops if I don’t nail it.

It seems to me this whole tangled mess
is a simple game of bocce on level ground
’cause in the game the point is to get to the pallino
and in the conclave you intrigue around to get to the papacy.

In this way, every Eminence is a bocce ball
that rolls here and there, with lead in it or not,
to get close to the pallino one way or another.

As long as there is a way to get through the mess,
you try a rolling punto shot and plot it out:
otherwise ya’ take a risk and try a tricky raffa bash.

NB: The “Praetorium of Pilate” is where Christ was condemned to die.   So, too a conclave as far as Mastro Checco is concerned.

Checco is short for Francesco and Mastro indicates that he is a skilled tradesman of some kind.

Bocce could be played with colorful red and green balls, green being the original color for bishops, hence the green hat on coats of arms.  You can envision very well fed round cardinals and bishops milling about close to a tiara.  Bocce is a fun image.   In bocce, you can roll more gently for a point (punto) and you can toss high so the ball comes down in a particular spot (volo) and you can strongly bash other balls or the pallino to move them around (raffa).  There are other terms too.