From a reader…
QUAERITUR:
What is a reasonable ordinary donation to a priest in connection with a request to say a mass. Or a reasonable range?
I understand that it is not strictly necessary to send a certain amount, and that way the truly poor can still get masses said for their needs / intentions. But I am not truly poor, and I am willing and able to assist with meeting priests’ needs. Presumably, other than the (sometimes very modest) living typically provided to a priest from the parish and diocese, he must pay for his needs at least in part out of what is given to him, and this includes what is given to him in thanksgiving that he is available as a priest to say masses for us and our needs. So, it seems like there would be a reasonable sort of amount or range of donations that is fitting or generally appropriate from those of us who are not poverty-stricken. Is that right?
Would we generally assume a higher amount is also fitting for those priests who have been cancelled and are receiving nothing at all from the diocese that (canonically) probably owes them to pay their living expenses?
This is a hard one to tackle for a couple of reasons. First, it may seems a little self-serving, since I am a priest and I receive Mass stipends now and then. Also, customs and particular laws are established in different places. Moreover, religious priests and diocesan priests can have a different manner of receiving intentions: some go to the community, some to the parish, some even to the diocese (which I think could be a violation of canon law… certain it is of justice and charity).
Priests have the right to make their living “from the altar”. Priests are for offering sacrifice. They are not for being nice or chairing committees or running youth groups. The identity of the priest and his living is “from the altar”. Hence, it is right and just that the priest receive material means to live through his action of offering the Sacrifice at the altar for people’s intentions. Ubi missa, ibi mensa. Where the Mass is, there also the table/meal/living is. This proverb explains that the priest’s income is rightfully from the celebration of Mass and, by extension, all his priestly actions. It is right to provide stipends for priests who do things for you (baptize your babies, marry you, etc.).
In some places the amount of a stipend is fixed by the diocese. I believe that counts mostly for public Masses celebrated on the parish schedule as well as “stole fees” (for marriages, etc). However, priests have days off. Retired priests have more days off. Canceled priests have all days off, as it were. Priests can celebrate with their own intentions when they are not obliged to take the scheduled intention at the parish. They can make their own arrangements for stipends for those Masses.
Mind you: setting a fixed amount in a diocese for Mass intentions is not a bad thing in itself. A fixed amount removes confusion and questions. It also helps people who are on a fixed income to plan (if they can find any parish with available slots in the calendar!). It creates some uniformity between parishes, which can be in very different neighborhoods.
However, in some places stipends have lagged behind the times. These days, in the USA, a $5 stipend would be absurdly low. However, $5 stipends for a priest in Africa would be welcome.
Some priests don’t have many stipends. For example, third world priests studying in Rome… even US priests… don’t have many stipends and that can be a problem.
Retired priests, too. I’ve given my stipends to men who are having troubles.
And let’s not even talk about the plight of priests who have been canceled.
And some stipend is better than no stipend when you are in need. I have had those years. Stipends meant a meal or a book I needed for research or a phone call home (back in the day), or getting my cassock dry cleaned, a hair cut. I still, with donations, always think in concrete terms: groceries… gas… insurance… roof replacement fund … internet bill! Funny how early years shape your later years.
I’ve tried to be a kind of “yenta” to connect people with priests so they can work things out on their own. I have nothing to do with the exchange of money or the conditions. That’s between them entirely. But I know that, from notes I’ve received, people are grateful to find a priest and the priests themselves really needed the help. It hardly gets better than that.
The bottom line is, when you make an arrangement with a priest for Mass intentions, you can offer what you want. You can offer what that priest’s diocese or order has fixed. You can offer a $10K for one Mass intention, or $10 for ten intentions. The $10K is obviously a lavish gift, also. The $10 could be the “widow’s mite” and, therefore, a precious honor for the priest to be offered.
If you and the priest agree, that’s a contract that binds the priest. If he accepts the stipend, you can be sure he will say the Mass for that intention either within the year or on the day you two agree on (barring the unforeseen, of course).
If a priest is impeded from saying the intentions himself, he has to find another priest to take them.
Also, it is possible to give a priest Mass intentions which you keep “secret”, that is, you give them, “pro intentione dantis… for the intention of the one giving (it)”. This sometimes works if, for example, I run into a student priest who is on the ropes and needs intentions. I can give him a sum of money for, say, 10 stipends and say, for “intentio dantis“. I can either give him names or purposes later or… not! I know and God knows.
By the way, Christmas is the only day of the year on which a priest can accept three stipends for the three traditional Christmas Masses.
Consider the priests’ positions. Are they young and without a wealthy family? Are they retired and their pension isn’t covering life’s needs? Are they in a parish or on their own. Some of these cases call for generosity above and beyond what officialdom has laid down in particular law.
THIS IS IMPORTANT:
Never just send a priest money for Mass intentions without first contacting him to a) ask if he can accept them and b) not place him in a position of having to refund you or c) find another priest to take them
Finally, this morning I said Mass for my regular monthly donors, who are benefactors. I don’t get a “stipend” for that intention. I get donations and I form the intention on my own. It is nice to be able to organize my own intentions. It gives me a chance to offer Masses in emergencies and for benefactors for whom I am grateful.