This just in from Cacciaguida:
National airline for the Holy See…
"Ultramontane" was never like this!
* three cabins: first, business, and preferential option
* all seats in first class are The Comfy Chair
* unjust stewardesses
* MP6 on every longhaul flight; MBJ23 in first class
* airport lounge for our Golden Chalice members
* currency exchange: pray for the conversion of your money
* free headset and rosary
* your captain: Pontius Pilot (kidding!)
* connect to the "Passetto" at Fiumicino for quick ground transport into Vatican City
* direct flights from Boston and San Francisco
* first Catholic plane at Heathrow since Reformation
* service to China expected soon
* confessors available to help with your "baggage"
* emergency procedures include absolution
* Keep in mind that the nearest holy water font may be behind you.
* planes by Boeing; nobis quoque pick up Airibus
* Swiss Guards on every flight, halberds at the ready (we’ve never seen a hijacker who wanted to be the beheadee rather than the beheader)
* the one true airline!
Call Bonnie Voluntatis or Jenny Torre at EtCumSpirit 220.