We have talked about iPad Roman Missals on the altar. We have talked about ATMs in the narthex of church’s for your weekly donations. We have talked about electric vigil lights, and recorded music, and microphones, hand sanitizer at Communion. We have talked about iPhone apps to help you examine your conscience.
How about drive through confession?
It doesn’t matter if this is a 1 April thing or not.
From the Herald Sun of Australia.
Your sins forgiven on the run
From: Herald Sun
SINFUL drivers can repent on the run with the opening today of Australia’s first drive-through confessional.
The pray-as-you-go service is to become slicker, with a sin-selection board to be installed by Easter and a smartphone app on the way.
South Melbourne Catholic priest Fr Bob McGuire said yesterday that the move brought the church up to speed with modern life.
“Everybody drives past this place but no one comes in,” Fr McGuire said.
“Now they can stop at the window, open their window and confess their sins. Then I’ll reassure them that they’ll be right.”
Do you think the drive-through confessional is a good idea? Tell us below
The 60-second car wash for the soul includes a symbolically refreshing spray of rose water. [Why not just call it McPenance?]
A flashing green light will signal when a driver’s sins have been forgiven. “When you’re driving out you’ll be clean as a whistle,” Fr McGuire said. [So... it's like a car wash. And it had better be a touchless car wash.]
The seven cardinal sins – lust, gluttony, greed, laziness, wrath, envy and pride – will be numbered on a sign, Chinese menu-style. [Or a Taco Bell window.]
From 6.30am, sinners will repent at a mobile unit dubbed the Hopemobile in the St Peter and Paul’s church driveway, confessing, for instance, to three No.7s and a No.4.
Fr McGuire said the coded response was meant to maintain confidentiality.
A more permanent set-up should be in place by Easter and Fr McGuire is hoping for a sponsor to cover set-up costs.
He said some overseas churches had confessional sponsors. At least one had a bookmaker as the backer. “They called it O’Flaherty’s sin bin or something,” he said. [They... did?]
The phone app, sourced from the US, will let drivers select deadly sins from a list, which will appear in front of the priest on a screen when the car pulls up. [We are straying onto more difficult ground now. Absolution, the form, must be pronounced to a person who is actually present. The matter of the confession is concerned, the communication of the sins themselves in number and kind, can be conveyed in different ways.]
It will also advise on the correct form of words to use.
“Part of it’s being already used in one church in the US,” Fr McGuire said. [It is?]
“I think it’s even been passed by the church police. [Okay... that's glib, but who would that be? The local bishop? The CDF? The CDW?]
“It’s the combining it with being forgiven for your sins in the flesh that hasn’t been tried.”
Fr McGuire ran a trial of drive-by prayer three weeks ago, on Ash Wednesday, but gave it up for Lent.
It is all very sly and funny that way, right?
But … is there something to this? Seriously?
There is a poll at that newspaper site. I think their question is wrong: “Is the quickie confession a good idea?” Yes. No. It seems to me that the length of the confession is not the point. Was the confession complete and sincere?
Okay. Let’s have a poll and a focused look at this, regardless of the calendar.
Chose the best answer (yes, I know there are other possible answers) and give your reasons in the combox. Let’s keep this as focused as possible.