NOTE TO READERS Re: Registration and Comments

Right now this blog is under siege by lots of spam and spammers trying to register and post their putrid slime.   I have ratcheted up the drawbridge and have released the gators into the moat.

I direct you once again to my Litany For The Conversion Of Internet Thugs:

A work in progress.

I am willing to take some intelligent suggestions and additions.

Litany for the conversion of internet thugs.
(private use only, and when truly irritated, and when the alternative is foul language)

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God, the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.
God, the Son, Redeemer of the World, have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us.

Lest internet thugs be eternally tormented by all the fiends of hell, convert them, O Lord.
Lest they pass eternity in utter despair, convert them, O Lord.
Lest they come to be damned for the harm they cause, convert them, O Lord.
Lest they roast forever in the deepest cinders of hell, convert them, O Lord.
Lest they suffer the unceasing pain of loss, convert them, O Lord.

Lest devils endlessly increase their physical agony, convert them, O Lord.
Lest devils twist their bowels and boil their blood in hell, convert them, O Lord.
Lest devils use them as their toys and tools, convert them, O Lord.
Lest devils gnaw on their skulls, convert them, O Lord.

Lest the innocent be harmed by their sins, convert them, O Lord.
Lest the innocent yield to them in weakness, convert them, O Lord.
Lest the innocent be drawn into their traps, convert them, O Lord.

From faceless Facebook admin drones, spare us O Lord.
From tweeting Twitter idiots, spare us O Lord.
From from heart-hardened spammers, spare us O Lord.
From blog combox trolls, spare us O Lord.
From rss feed problems, spare us O Lord.
From server memory resource difficulties, spare us O Lord.

From viruses, trojan horses, and all manner of snares, Lord save us.
From wasting our time, Lord save us.
From our own stupidity, Lord save us.

St. Isidore, defend us.
St. Francis de Sales, defend us.
St. Gabriel, defend us.
St. Michael, defend us.
Guardian angels, defend us.
All the angels and saints….. GRRRRR.

Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, graciously hear us, O Lord,
Lamb of God who takest away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

V. Christ, Jesus who died for our sins.
R. Return, and return swiftly.

Let us pray.
Almighty and eternal God,
who according to an ineffable plan
called us into existence to do your will
amid the vicissitudes and contagion of this world,
grant, we beseech you,
through your mercy and grace,
both to protect the innocent who use the tools of this digital age,
and to convert all those who abuse them from their evil ways.
Through Christ our Lord.   Amen.

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. Rich says:

    Fr. Z., your command of vocabulary and sentence structure in writing a Collect prayer is…ineffable.

  2. Michelle F says:

    Awesome litany! Can we really growl in our prayers?

  3. benedetta says:

    Never surrender Father Z! We’ve got your back!

  4. Cool Catholic says:

    ROFL. Thank you Fr Z for making me laugh during a very trying day.

  5. leonugent2005 says:

    I am grateful that I am able to read this blog and for any uncharitable comments I have made I repent.

  6. Jenelle says:


    Have you thought about using Disqus to manage all of your comments? Definitely takes the hard work out of monitoring spammers etc.

    God Bless!

  7. acardnal says:

    I wonder if adding Ven. Fulton Sheen to the litany would help protect the blog site since he was sooooo big in media ? And still is.

  8. iPadre says:

    I wondered why I got an eMail yesterday saying that I am now registered. I just deleted it.

    St. Michael the Archangel – pray for us and with your mighty sword, cut the internet connection to all who do evil!

  9. wmeyer says:

    Father, have you looked at the IP addresses of the spammers? I have found, in supporting a wiki fr a friend, that most of the spamming entries were from PRC.

  10. Indulgentiam says:

    Lest we recoil before an enemy, or keep silence when from all sides such clamors are raised against truth, strengthen us, O Lord.
    from my very favorite Pope Leo XIII, Sapientiae Christianae. -“To recoil before an enemy, or to keep silence when from all sides such clamors are raised against truth, is the part of a man either devoid of character or who entertains doubt as to the truth of what he professes to believe. In both cases such mode of behaving is base and is insulting to God, and both are incompatible with the salvation of mankind.” I truly Love this Pope.

  11. Supertradmum says:

    Some of the thugs are commentators on my blog who keep insisting over and over that I answer their hatred. It is boring.

  12. JARay says:

    St Paul wrote something about our adversary, the Devil, going round like a lion seeking those whom he could devour and we have to resist him strongly in Faith. I pray that you will continue to do so. God bless Father Z.

  13. mamajen says:

    I’m sorry you’re having trouble with spammers, Father. I know it’s a pain in the neck. I’m sure by now you have already investigated plugins and may already have something up and running, but if not I thought this sounded promising:

  14. UncleBlobb says:

    I like your Versical and Reponse too, Father. :)

  15. cjcanniff says:

    I just came across some very un-Christian dialogue between two individuals on another Catholic blog. It is sad that internet-blog-commenting hatred is so ubiquitous.

  16. The Egyptian says:

    the prayer would be properly read in an environment similar to the excommunication scene from Becket with the proper extinguishing of the candles at the end.

    That scene come to mind when I get spammed, with the reprobates indeed

  17. frjim4321 says:

    If many of these are bots maybe “captchas” would work, but I hesitate to recomment because they are a pain in the kiester.

    BTW if anyone has any extra prayers, “Rick,” who at 48 I just gave last communion, could really use them.

  18. Bea says:

    Prayers for “Rick” before bedtime, frjim4321

    St. Isidore, from mischievous posters, protect us,
    Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen, defend us.
    St. Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle……..
    St. Gabriel, Archangel, be our herald in Truth.

    I made up the following prayer some time ago for another blog. Maybe we can use it here?
    + Good St. Isidore, who so loved Truth and Wisdom that you brought forth in written words this Truth and Wisdom to the then known Catholic world, we ask you now to protect our posting on this site from error and from evil intent, that our posts may reflect the Truth and Wisdom of Holy Mother Church as established by Christ our Lord. Amen +

  19. Scott W. says:

    I agree with frjim4321. captchas are mildly annoying, but they may help with the spammers. For thugs with an axe to grind however, my guess the only option is the old fashioned IP-banhammer.

  20. Tina in Ashburn says:

    Father, I am sorry the Blue Meanies are attacking your site.
    From the envy of the devil, Save Us O Lord.
    Although it must be labor-intensive for you, I do like the way you manage your own registrations.
    I don’t care at all for Disquis or those sites that manage registration – sometimes I just want to leave my name and that’s it, but those hitch into accounts where I have email addresses and my photo sites and all that, when they work that is. Sometimes the ID managers don’t hitch in correctly, no matter what I try and I leave without commenting.

    Echoing wmeyer and Scott W above, I’d suggest capturing the IP address of registrants since most blog owners have discovered the hate spews from different names for identical IP addresses. Then you also need a method to compare IP addresses, like a spreadsheet or database. I assume there are tools already created that do this.

    I wonder too if a reference from other commenters already here could be managed. Like an auto-generated email to me that would say “so and so says they know you, would you recommend them” [Yes/NO/I know them, but can’t predict the risk]. Perhaps an onerous method that adds time to the process but maybe worth considering if there is a mechanism to do this. If no answer is received from the reference, place a registrant on probation for the first 10 comments and sends all their comments to a database for review. [I haven’t yet figured out how to search here for all the comments made by a registrant].

    You asked for ideas LOL.

  21. I have a captcha installed for registration.

    I have been using my IP Ban tool for ranges of IPs.

  22. Kathleen10 says:

    There is a new captcha that forces you to watch a commercial and then you use the words they give you! Crikey! What next. I can barely make out those squiggly letters!

    Fr. Jim, will do for Rick.

    I am bombarded with vulgar and gross spam now that I have “come out” in favor of traditional marriage online.
    The atheists and haters of God and the faithful are out in FORCE these days! They are angry, volatile, vengeful folks. They remind me of people who would enjoy telling a child there is no Santa. It ends up just annoying, but it surely does harm to the vulnerable. God help them.

    Fr. Z. LOVE the litany. Your secular counterpart is Cyrano. Your command of language is phenomenal. I hope some day you start that book.

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