From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 23-03-05

As we wait for more recent entries, here is an older one.  Poor Fr. Tommy.  He has to deal with a guy whose need not to be alone is nearly pathological.

August 8th 2022

Dear Diary,

Low-key day.  Nothing on calendar.  Asked Fr. Tommy at breakfast if he had any ideas about what we could do today.  He looked at me like I had asked him to explain the Trinity or something, kind of flushing red and then he got real pale.  For a second I thought he was gonna hurl — maybe it was that omelette?  Anyway, he assured me he was fine.  So we took off for the golf course and had a great time.  Fr. Tommy drives a mean golf cart.  Then we stopped for a nice lunch and went shopping.  Bought some great stuff!  Fr. Tommy lugged all of it upstairs for me, too.  He’s a nice young priest, even though with spouting all that Latin I miss some of his ‘inside jokes’ – ha!  Too many more episodes like this morning, though, and I’m going to have to look into sending him for evaluation at the priest funny farm.  Get it together, Tommy, or I’ll call your grandmother!

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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6 Comments

  1. TheCavalierHatherly says:

    Perhaps someone, like Father Tommy, might be able to provide a collection of “Table Talk” of his Excellency.

    The “Noctes Attici,” if you will.

  2. redneckpride4ever says:

    I wonder if there’s any material surviving from his days in seminary.

    I also wonder if he got Chester as a puppy.

  3. TonyO says:

    I suspect he got Chester not as a small puppy, but because someone didn’t like the irritating dog they produced by not training him, and foisted Chester off on Fatty M as a hopeful case of “like likes like”. Seems to have worked, too.

  4. Gregg the Obscure says:

    “Perhaps someone, like Father Tommy, might be able to provide a collection of
    ‘Table Talk’ of his Excellency.”

    if it’s anything like Luther’s Table Talk (highly recommended to me as an undergrad), most of it would be too obscene for our gracious host to post.

  5. Legisperitus says:

    “Fr. Tommy, your grandmother probably wants her lace back.”

  6. Archlaic says:

    I am the very model of a mod’nist future Card-i-nal;
    I’ve information soc-i-al, cleric’l and political;
    I know the papal secre’tries, and I quote the Acts Concilial;
    From Lumen right through Gentium, in order categorical!

    I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters
    Hypothetical;
    I’m quite well-versed in Synods, from Extr’ord’nry to the General;
    About binating clerics I’m current with the papal views;
    With many novel facts about the dangers of the ancient use!

    With many novel facts about the dangers of the ancient use!

    With many novel facts about the dangers of the ancient use!

    With many novel facts about the dangers of the ancient use!

    I’m very ecumenical, indeed contemporaneous;
    I know the scientific ways to explain the miraculous;
    In short, in matters soc-i-al, cleric’l and political;
    I am the very model of a mod’nist future Card-i-nal!

    In short, in matters soc-i-al, cleric’l and political;
    He is the very model of a mod’nist future Card-i-nal!

    I know Conciliar history, Good Pope John’s and Pope Paul the 6th’s;
    I’m kind to the agnostics, got patience with the het’rodox;
    I quote in chapter’n’verse all the many faults of the Lefebvrists;
    With dubia I can floor the position of the traditionalists!

    I can tell undoubted Daniel Schuttes from David Haas and Lucien Deiss;
    I know the warble of the Jesuits of Saint Louis;
    Can hum Psalms Responsorial which only ICEL could command;
    As well as all the tunes beloved of our praise and worship band!

    As well as all the tunes beloved of our praise and worship band!

    As well as all the tunes beloved of our praise and worship band!

    As well as all the tunes beloved of our praise and worship band!

    … I think there’s more there, but I am too tired and must retire!

    (I’m sure that B16 was familiar with G&S; Franciscus Caesar… not so much!)

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