30 A.D. INTERVIEW OF SCALFARIUS WITH JESUS OF NAZARETH

At Eccles is saved we find an interview of Scalfarius and Jesus from 30 AD.

Sample (omitting the striking… art) with my emphases :

Galilee, 30 A.D.

Many people will know of me as the leading journalist of the Roman Empire, and founder of the newspaper Res Publica. I spoke to Jesus of Nazareth shortly after his famous Sermon on the Mount, and what He had to say will shock you.

I interviewed Jesus under the best possible circumstances: I refused to record the interview, or to take notes, and my hearing aid was broken, so I couldn’t hear Him either. In fact most of the time I hid in a cupboard, so as to resist the temptation to try and lip-read the Messiah. Nonetheless, I can tell you exactly what He said, even though He spoke Aramaic, a language unknown to me.

Jesus told me that He is very keen on an all-female priesthood, and that the all-male priesthood favoured by Jewish tradition was simply a mistake. He had given the keys of Heaven to Petra, an ambitious young lady that He had met somewhere, and she was going to become the first Holy Mother.

Jesus is well-known for saying “I came not to judge the world, but to save it.” He expanded on this theme to me, explaining that old-fashioned notions of Good and Evil were now redundant. “If a man wishes to commit theft, murder, adultery or even bear a little false witness, who am I to judge? Who is my Father to judge? No, just SMILE, that’s all I ask my disciples to do.”

[...]

Read the rest there.

I am sure that all characters appearing in this work are fictitious and that any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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11 Responses to 30 A.D. INTERVIEW OF SCALFARIUS WITH JESUS OF NAZARETH

  1. Back pew sitter says:

    Eccles is Saved is the wittiest blog on religious matters. Not only is Eccles funny but he is saved.

  2. jm says:

    Not so much amusing as wishful thinking, as Codgitator points out.

    http://ebougis.wordpress.com/2014/07/16/a-follow-up-on-the-ecclesiology-of-doublethink/

  3. Although I am only a slightly saved person, I live for Bruvver Eccles. He is the only religious blogger worth reading – apart from your good self, of course, Father … :)

  4. BenYachov says:

    I just re-read the Scalfari interview as it appears currently on the Vatican website. Is this a sanitized version of anearlier one because I read it several times now and I can’t find anything wrong with it.

    Francis condemns proselytism but so does Benedict. Francis says he is not going to try to convert Scalfari but that just seems prudent. Why start a debate with a guy who has chosen to interview you?

    I mean what is the problem here?

  5. BenYachov says:

    BTW for the record I am referring to the original one.

  6. Urs says:

    Off Topic comment but I just found this and have to share it..and I do not know where to put it but here you are Fr.Z … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_p8u7l2YY4

  7. Urs says:

    I need to put the title in the link thatI just posted above.
    It is a video of Fr Z on the Journey Home…
    Fr John Zuhlsdorf: Former Lutheran – The Journey Home Program
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_p8u7l2YY4

  8. Johnno says:

    You won’t be laughing when you discover that Francis read this and demanded to add ’1 Scalfarius’ to the canon.

  9. Choirmaster says:

    Now we wait to see if Our Lord will remove this interview from his official website.

  10. Robbie says:

    Well, the first interview has now disappeared from the Vatican website again. I say good.

  11. Papabile says:

    While this is hilarious, I am no longer willing to give the benefit of the doubt here. The Holy Father and the Vatican Press Corps know perfectly well what they are doing when they let the Holy Father be interviewed without it being recorded.

    I find that particularly troubling considering the nature of the papers that have interviewed him.