Don’t Mess With The Babies

I enjoyed this from Orthometer:

Don’t Mess With The Babies.

I recently heard of a priest preaching on the Feast of the Holy Family that Jesus did not know that He was God and the Mary and Joseph were bad parents as they were partying on their way back from Jerusalem hence forgetting to take Jesus with them. How 70s! The sad thing is that he was likely taught that non-sense and believes it in good conscience.

But, this reminds me of another story of historical-critical preaching. It seems that a priest, preaching on the Feast of the Holy Innocents, proclaimed that the Holy Innocents did not really exist, but were mythological. After Mass, he tripped and broke his arms. The joke among his confreres was that the babies were getting even. A few years later, a different priest preached the same drivel and wouldn’t you know, the same thing happened. Don’t mess with the babies! (I imagine that the same lesson could be well applied to the Holy Family.)


I was trying to come up with something clever about St. Augustine and Nancy Pelosi but… it just… isn’t there.

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  1. EXCHIEF says:

    Give it time…Augustine is a thinker. When he decides, Pelosi and the whole world will know it.

  2. johapin says:

    Just give it time! Patience Father!

  3. gloriainexcelsis says:

    I have this dream that Nancy Pelosi, with all her un-Catholicity, will suddenly lose all her botox or face lifts or whatever and in the middle of a press conference, as she defends her positions, will become like Dali’s melting clock. I know. Shame on me.

  4. Frank H says:

    Wow, what a visual that is! Where is Vincenzo when we need him?

  5. edwardo3 says:

    Every time I see Madam, Speaker, all that comes to mind is “The Scream”.

  6. GOR says:

    It is well known that St. Catherine of Siena was not slow to criticize the clergy – priests, bishops and even the Pope – for not fulfilling their obligations. On one occasion Our Lord told her to leave the priests to Him and He would deal with them. But St. Catherine was still on earth at the time. In Heaven it is probably different. So, one has a vision of the Holy Innocents appealing to God for a little retribution over the priests who didn’t believe in them.

    Holy Innocents: “Lord, can we do something about this…?”
    God: “What did you have in mind?”
    HI: “A little fire and brimstone, maybe…?”
    God: “I don’t think so. I mean, they’re wrong, but it’s not exactly Sodom…”
    HI: “A plague of locusts…?”
    God: “No, other innocents might be hurt.”
    HI: “How about we trip them up?’
    God: “Hmmm, they’ve already tripped… Well… Okay… But no broken bones, mind!”
    HI: “Aww… How about an arm?… Just one?… Pleeease!!!”
    God: “You got it”

  7. Kent says:

    That reminds me of an incident a couple of year ago when I was at a retreat at a Jesuit retreat house in Colorado. In a lecture given by one of the priests, he told us that prayer did not matter and it did no good to pray for others and ourselves. There were other comments which escape me (thankfully) which had the group of about 30 men pretty upset. It was the feast of St. Blase and there was a blessing of the throats that evening given by the same priest. The next morning he was missing from his scheduled talk and we were told by his substitute that he had been taken to the hospital overnight for a strange swelling in his neck. We did not see him for the remainder of the retreat. I know that he recovered since I see his name on their promotional brochure. I wonder if he got the message? Needless to say, I have not been back to that retreat house.

  8. Tom in NY says:

    Pius XII in DAS (AD MCMXLIII) dixit: “Nostri igitur rerum biblicarum cultores in hanc quoque rem animum debita diligentia intendant, neque quidquam omittant,…cum archaeologia, … historia priscarumque litterarum scientia, quodque aptum sit, quo melius veterum scriptorum mens, eorumque ratiocinandi, narrandi scribendique modus, forma et ars cognoscatur.” N o n mentem torquere ad delendam sed mentem cognoscendam scripsit.
    Sancti Innocentes predicatores exsecuti sunt? Solus Deus cognoscit.
    Salutationes omnibus.

  9. Father S. says:

    I am not sure if anyone here has ever read the “Don Camillo” stories. As an Italian-American and a priest, these were standard reading material in my household. From the first book, “The Little World of Don Camillo,” what comes below is from the third chapter, “The Confession.” I was reminded of it after this post. The books are written by Giovanni Guareschi.

    Taken as a whole, his offences were not very serious, and Don Camillo let him off with a score of Peters and Aves. Then, while Peppone was kneeling at the altar rails performing his penance, Don Camillo went and knelt before the crucifix.

    ‘Lord,’ he said, ‘You must forgive me, but I am going to beat him up for You.’

    ‘You are going to do nothing of the kind,’ replied the Lord. ‘I have forgiven him and you must forgive him also. All things considered, he is not a bad soul.’

    ‘Lord, you can never trust a Red! They live by lies. Only look at him; Barabbas incarnate!’

    ‘It’s as good a face as most, Don Camillo; it is your heart that is venomous!’

    ‘Lord, if I have ever served You well, grant me just this one small grace: let me at least break this candle on his shoulders. Dear Lord, what, after all, is a candle?’

    ‘No,’ replied the Lord, ‘Your hands were made for blessing, not for striking.’

    Don Camillo sighed heavily.

    He genuflected and left the sanctuary. As he turned to make a final sign of the cross he found himself exactly behind Peppone who, on his knees, was apparently absorbed in prayer.

    ‘Lord,’ groaned Don Camillo, clasping his hands and gazing at the crucifix. ‘My hands were made for blessing, but not my feet!’

    ‘There is something in that,’ replied the Lord from above the altar, ‘but all the same, Don Camillo, bear it in mind: only one!’

    The kick landed like a thunderbolt and Peppone received it without so much as blinking an eye. Then he got to his feet and sighed with relief…

    Here is a link to the entire series:

  10. lofstrr says:

    Since St. Augustine is a Doctor of the Church perhaps he could strike them with a temporary idiocy but then, they are Senators, how would we know.

    Also, when I clicked though to the Orthometer and saw the demotivational poster with Fr. McBrien I about spewed my coffee all over my keyboard. Funny stuff.

  11. irishgirl says:

    Oooo-talk about ‘heavenly payback’!

    That Father Erik…you just gotta love him!

    Frank and gloria-hey, I’d like to see what Vincenzo would do with regards to ‘madam’ Speaker!

  12. gloriainexcelsis says:

    I remember Don Camillo well. When Father Z first mentioned the books it brought back a lot of great memories. Loved Don Camillo. I think I might just re-read the books.

  13. robtbrown says:

    I recently heard of a priest preaching on the Feast of the Holy Family that Jesus did not know that He was God

    The knowledge of Christ is a fascinating theological topic that has serious consequences in how mass is to be said.

  14. Father S: I am not sure if anyone here has ever read the “Don Camillo” stories. … “The Little World of Don Camillo,” …

    Whaddya say the name of that book was again?

  15. Father S. says:

    I must not have been reading here long enough to see that Fr. Z. also reads these stories. I think that they are magnificent and have had them for years and years. My favorite book of the series is the first, though I also enjoy “Comrade Don Camillo.” The latter is a bit more serious and has some very good sections on the sacraments in emergencies.

    Gauareschi also wrote a text called “My Secret Diary,” which details his time in prison camps during World War II. I had it on my shelf for some time and then jut read it during Advent. It was very good.

  16. Virgil says:

    Saint Augustine and Nancy Pelosi walk into a bar.

    The bartender says, “You know I can’t serve you, Gus, because this is a Donatist bar.”

    Madame Speaker says, “He’s right. And I can’t pay for the drinks, as he won’t recognize my money as valid tender.”

    * badump bah *

    (takes a while)


  17. Jane says:

    A few things come to mind here: my parish priest said in one of his sermons that an archeological find in the Holy Land found a mass grave of many infant baby boys. They are believed to be the Holy Innocents. I have no further information on that matter.

    Some of the relics of the Holy Innocents are believed to be in the church of St Paul outside the Walls in Rome. I have been there, but only found out about this after I came back to Australia.

    Today we have more innocents being slaughtered in the abortion holocaust.

    On December 28, 1989 I woke up and thought; today is the feast of the Holy Innocents and then the thought came to me that Australia would be punished for all the abortions.

    A couple of hours later an earthquake occurred in the city of Newcastle, (a city north of Sydney). People lost their lives and the city was damaged. Earthquakes like that are unusual for Australia.

    After the state of Victoria (Australia) passed some of the worst abortion laws in the world, Victoria experienced the worst loss of life and property in bushfires in Australia’s history.

    Perhaps neither the earthquake nor the bushfires are related to abortions, but abortion is the killing of unborn babies and is absolutely evil.

    If you want to say but what about disabled babies, blab, blab, blab, I will tell you outright that I have several children who have autism.

    Lastly I have been inspired lately to make a novena or two to the Holy Innocents, because I suspect that they would be good intercessors.

  18. Jane says:

    I meant to type blah, blah, blah, not blab, blab blab. Too much distraction around here: I am in the same room as the TV and the telemarketer from India, rang to try and sell me roofing, when I did not need that, he had another expensive item to sell me.
    I hope to get my home office renovated soon and then I can type without all this distraction.

  19. Mariana says:

    Regarding Father S’s lovely Don Camillo quote – add to this the face of Fernandel = just priceless!

  20. Supertradmom says:

    These priests who preach that Jesus did not know He was God sadly learned that in the seminaries and Catholic college, for example one I attended,where a priest I know was teaching this for over ten years to hundreds of students. This is one of the most common heresies and must be resisted by those of us who know the Teaching of the Catholic Church. I usually say something to the priest, and if he is adamate about his position, write to the bishop.

    Same with the teaching on universal salvation, the denial of original sin and other popular heresies. I must admit, I never heard that the Holy Innocents were mythological. How sad. And, obviously these priests do not know their Old Testament prophecies….

  21. Supertradmom says:

    adamant not whatever I wrote above…sorry

  22. Rob Cartusciello says:

    One day in formation a young novice preached about how the Church excluded all sorts of people from full participation by opposing gay marriage and women’s ordination.

    That night he developed a previously undiscovered food allergy. His tongue swelled so much that he had to be taken to the emergency room.

    True story.

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