About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. Siculum says:

    Pope Francis’s nightmare tonight about giant tomato-sauce-slathered fusilli coming to attack him after his penitential sauce sacrifice today.

  2. PCali says:

    Okay…….who looked into the heart of the TARDIS?……….and who fixed the chameleon circuit??!

  3. Mojoron says:

    Satan leaving the white house.

  4. Mike says:

    I told you to take it to the detailer after Herkimer had his little “accident” back there… but NOOOOO, you said…

  5. Potato2 says:

    “OK sir, calm down. What I wan’t to know is why you left a deranged balloon clown locked in your van for a couple of hours and then if you could point out the suburban house he was seen crawling into the window of.”

  6. CRPodhaj says:

    Curiously, the LCWR representatives from “Nuns on the Bus” asked the alien in the van to unite and form social cosmogenesis to achieve Messianic consciousness – just before it ate them.

  7. Matthew K says:

    Hell hath no fury like a Cheez-It scorned.

  8. Arcgap says:

    It’s just the moving van with the pink flamingos for the new people moving into the trailer park.

  9. MrTipsNZ says:

    Despite a mad rush to hospital, Obamacare could not save Nancy Pelosi after getting caught in the rain………

  10. Athanasius says:

    Following Pope Francis’ pledge to baptize the Martians, they have crossed the border en masse!

  11. tzard says:

    First shipment of new stealth infantry weapon. It’s impervious to Radar and Infra Red. It’s EMP resistant. It received unanimous approval from Washington.

    Balloon swords.

  12. Bea says:


    (I forgot to turn off the “Spin stops here” and the friction caused the PC ‘ers to turn on the “flaming liberals” but they remained in their “yellow” SUVs (“Serve us vocally” enclosure) afraid to come out into the Real World. )

  13. Margaret says:

    Outtake from the original “Muppet Movie” when Animal drinks Dr. Honeydew’s potion and grows fifty feet tall. (The potion side effects were reportedly exhausting and Animal had to lie down to rest in a specially-outfitted van between shots.)

  14. Tamquam says:

    Captain, I think we found the dilithum crystals.

  15. Muv says:

    Drag show? Liturgical dance?? Need costumes fast??? Call the NU-2-U-TUTU hotline on 666 NOW!!!

  16. incredulous says:

    Get the potatoes out of your ears… I said a shallow pan of pork strudel not a yellow van packed with pink noodles…

  17. Southern Baron says:

    The Viper pilots were stunned to learn that the truck was not driven by cylons; the truck WAS a cylon.

  18. rusynbyz says:

    “Captain, sensors indicate there is a distortion in the space-time continuum.”

  19. The Crystalline Entity was so excited to begin work on its conversion van…

  20. Gregg the Obscure says:

    The nuns on the bus have completed the knitting of a giant puppet for liturgical use.

  21. seattle_cdn says:

    Aliens will travel to Earth in any sketchy van in order to take harbor in the loving arms of Holy Mother Church after the issuing of Martianorum Coetibus

  22. Driver: What’s that book you’re reading?
    Passenger: Something called “The Necronomicon.” I found it in the back seat. It says, “Argh mosh akhmar–”

    Either that or someone’s giant sea anemone has arrived.

  23. Cafea Fruor says:

    Boss, shaking his head: “How many times do I have to say, I want you to bring me an enemy, an ENEMY, not ANENOME?!”

    Vile henchman: “Oh, gee, sorry boss, I just ain’t good with homophones…”

  24. VexillaRegis says:

    The dyspeptic undertaker had a flare-up in his car.

  25. Father G says:

    Play-Doh has announced it is expanding into the automotive industry.

  26. GreggW says:

    “Oh, John! The dragon sneezed AGAIN!”

  27. Inocencio says:

    The Car of Cthulhu
    The Watcher in the Wagon

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