Finally! strategy to defeat ISIS terrorists! Fearsome Twitter messages, fatally ironic Instagram photos!

Meanwhile, from The People’s Cube, we have a solution to the problem of ISIS!

I hope the President is taking notes.

ISIL to be Defeated by Twitter and Instagram Bombardment
Dear Comrades,

Comrade Vice President Joseph Biden has announced that the USSA will chase The Islamic Caliphate (PBUI) ‘to the gates of hell’ with a barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and fatally ironic Instagram photos.

Already successful used by the USSA State Department’s Information Directorate against the bourgeois imperialist Vladimir Putin and the Boko Haram in Nigeria, The Islamic State can soon expect to receive thousand of potentially embarrassing texts and pictures from high-capacity online accounts being prepared at the White Fortress.

Throughout the USSA, countless college students have already volunteered to repost and retweet State messages, adding even heavier firepower to the State’s already considerable resources. So many messages are expected to put Caliphate accounts that many officials expect a total retreat within weeks, if not the closing of thousands of account by disloyal terrorist operatives.

Debilitated by shame and unable to handle ironic humor, Comrade President B. B. Obama has told Party officials he expects total destruction of the enemy back to manageable proportions before his mid-Autumn golf season begins in early October.

We will embarrass the Caliphate back to the Stone Age! Social Pressure is the preferred People’s Weapon!!


About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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  1. excalibur says:

    I’m sure Cardinal Dolan approving homosexuals marching in next year’s Saint Patrick’s Gay Day Parade will shake then. And His Eminence serving as Grand Marshal will really boil their blood. We’re on the march now! Decadence always wins, doesn’t it?

  2. Gratias says:

    Hope Michelle Obama got he Girls brought Back.

    The Boko Haram, Christian and Yashiri girls have already sold off as sex slaves to Islamic Caliphate Muslims while Barack Hussein plays golf.

    Where have all the young girls gone?
    They are off as comfort women for the Caliphate warriors, everyone.

    May Michelle’s hashtag heal them. Perhaps Diego Maradona’s “Imagine all the people” Papal soccer match might make the change, hopefully.

  3. terryprest says:

    The Archbishop of Canterbury is reported to have said that “There has not been treatment of Christians in this region [the Middle East], in this manner, since the invasion of Genghis Khan”

  4. NoraLee9 says:

    This reminds me of the “Killer Joke” from Monty Python.

  5. Martlet says:

    I’m not sure what the point of these posts are. It is a fact that ISIS is winning the social media war, opening new Twitter and other social media accounts faster than they can be closed, and these accounts are being used for shameless boasting of their cruelty and for recruitment purposes. Hunting out these accounts and bombarding them with counter-messages seems to me to be worthwhile. I mean, at least people are then doing SOMETHING beyond whining about ISIS or complaining that the President is doing nothing.

  6. jaykay says:

    “Hunting out these accounts and bombarding them with counter-messages seems to me to be worthwhile. ”

    I would have thought that “hunting them out” and then getting them closed down completely was the intelligent option. I mean, such media platforms only exist by virtue of western technology in the first place, which these people profess to despise – although of course more than willing to use it for their own ends. So letting your own media be bombarded by your enemy and then just responding in what’s little more than a sort of teenage handbag-fight fashion seems crazy to me.

  7. Pingback: Sleep Easy America, Biden is on the Job! | The American Catholic

  8. Eugene says:

    As a Canadian citizen of Italian origin, I usually feel it is not my place to criticize America. BUT, at this point in your country’s history I have become very concerned that the President currently in power and his minions, especially your AG Eric Holder, have done more to rid your once great country of the last vestiges of Christendom than any other administration, be it with regards to overturning moral laws re: marriage, advancing the most unholy cause of abortion, increasing the sense of entitlement in the young and minority part of the population, restricting religious freedom, unable to effectively protect America from the evil of Islam, turning a blind eye to the Christian genocide in the Arab and Persian world etc. etc. What will now be playing out in the next year or so of this failed leader is the result of someone who has little moral fortitude, who has craved to the MTM generation and the Hollywood liberal elite. America is rudderless and floating towards the same toilet my country Canada and the rest of the west sunk into some years ago.
    Where are the Ronald Reagans, the Winston Churchills, the Margaret Thatchers, of the world. Their types are gone and they are not coming back because the leaders we have in both the secular world and the ecclesiastical world are a reflection of us, we are immoral, we don’t defend the faith, we don’t witness, we are not pure, so we get the leaders we deserve.
    Remember this axiom “when God is mad at the sheep he sends blind shepherds”. God have mercy on us.

  9. JesusFreak84 says:

    And that is why I love the People’s Cube XD (Actually, now that I think about it, I probably first heard of TPC here.) Slightly off-topic, but the site owner is a Ukrainian ex-pat, so his comments on the situation with Russia have been quite enlightening.

  10. McCall1981 says:

    I thought the recent soccer match and peace tree had already finished off ISIS.

  11. Sonshine135 says:

    The way to deal with fanatical Islamists is to fill our bombs with pigs blood. This issue would resolve itself in a matter of days. If you are to sensitive to wage war….don’t wage war.

  12. Priam1184 says:

    @jaykay ISIS does not in any way profess to despise Western technology. They claim to despise the uses that we in the West put it to but they intend to use all of these (so called) wonderful Western inventions for their own purposes.

    Again if Father is alright with it I will post the link to this 45 min doc that VICE News did on these guys:

    And one of them clearly states that they have no intention of “going back to the days of the carrier pigeon.” And that they want to use all of this technology for their own purposes. If anybody is really serious about defeating these guys we have to know what they think they are about, not just what we think they are about.

    Of course so much of the Western and formerly Christian world and its political leadership is so locked into the promotion of society wide mortal sin that it is doubtless we will ever see clear enough to eradicate these guys, much less Putin.

  13. Faith says:

    I think JayKay misses Martlet’s point. “It is a fact that ISIS is winning the social media war, opening new Twitter and other social media accounts faster than they can be closed, and these accounts are being used for shameless boasting of their cruelty and for recruitment purposes.” The point is that this statement is true. ISIS has cornered social media. Their terror pix have flooded our media outlets. Everyone is aware of them.
    Now what to do about them? ?????????

  14. Defender of Truth says:

    There is some truth in what was posted here, however, I am of the opinion that articles such as this do a disservice to this blog. If it is not possible to discuss issues like this in a more meaningful and Christian manner, they should not be posted.

  15. jaykay says:

    Faith: nope, I didn’t miss Martlet’s point. And in a way I was answering your last question by positing that that an active strategy should be pursued towards shutting them down or blocking them. Because the very same platforms are not exactly owned or operated by rabib Islamists based in Saudi Arabia or Pakistan, after all. Therefore it behoves those who operate such sites to police them properly and remove this bilge as soon as it appears. Which they would do if it was “homophobic hate speech” or some such.

    Priam1184: I do take your point, but I suppose there’s some comfort in looking at the fact that the culture (and nations) they belong to has not exactly been in the forefront of developing their own technology for the past few centuries, so if we can somehow deny them access to ours…

    yeah, I know, I know…

  16. SKAY says:

    That tweet of Michelle Obama’s really did the trick didn’t it?
    Reminds me of the “Reset Button” Hillary -as Sec. of State-gave to the Russians with the
    wrong Russian word on it. Obama’s assessment of ISIS as “J.V.” seems to describe his administration much better.

    Eugene said–
    “Where are the Ronald Reagans, the Winston Churchills, the Margaret Thatchers, of the world.”

    Sadly Planned Parenthood and abortion have probably taken care of that.

  17. Packrraat says:

    Comrade Vice President Joseph Biden was at our church here in Delaware this afternoon for a funeral. I was there as they set up for the funeral, praying when our associate pastor asked me if I were staying for the Mass. No, I couldn’t stand watching the Comrade go up to receive communion.

  18. Martlet says:

    JayKay – ISIS has opened 30,000 new Twitter accounts in the last week or so. Twitter cannot police its literally millions of tweets a day so depends on users to alert them. When they close ISIS accounts, thousands more spring up. Twitter and the lesser social media sites are doing their best, but they simply cannot keep up. No-one is suggesting simply trolling their accounts and nothing else. It is just one action that people sitting in their own homes can do. And it certainly beats ideas like dropping pig’s blood on terrorists, or complaining that they are using “our” technology. At least these people are doing something.

  19. Who knows? If William Wallace were here and were a gay marriage supporting, pot smoking freeloader, then he might be crying out to his eager battle ready hardened Scottish men:

    “Are you ready for a Twitter War!!”

  20. SaintJude6 says:

    Actually, I thought the pig’s blood idea was very “outside the box” thinking.
    I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why anyone cares about or uses Twitter. “Following” people?
    No, thanks.

  21. PA mom says:

    What is the name of a trustworthy organization that a person could donate to in order to assist the refugees?
    Is CRS one?

Comments are closed.