June 2nd 2025
Dear Diary,
This morning began with Chester triumphantly parading around the house with the TV remote clenched in his jaws like a barbarian trophy… chewing. That’s the fifth one the nasty little thief. One more and I’ll swap him for a rescue cat.
I had to host the meeting of the region bishops, the first since Jack got the sack from Rome through the Noonch. Reason: health. Real reason: financial creativity to the tune of nearly 7 figures. We’re on pins and noodles now because none of us is going to have perfect books. Except maybe Jude.
Jude, yah, always serious except when he’s not. He told us that he finally got permission from Rome under the new Pope!! to merge one of his parishes with a chapel of the SXPX (or something). Matteo almost choked on his danish, Terry went pale. When I asked when it was going to be done, Dozer turned purpler. Jude said it was going smoothly and should be done in a week or so. He said that he was inspired by how I had combined and renamed places and he would do the same. Of course I walked into it. “What did you call it?”, I stupidly asked. Really serious he said, it’s now the My Fault My Fault My Most Grievous Fault Faith Community. That did it, of course. I coudda killed him. Gotta say, he tagged the other guys too. They fell for it at first. I told Fr. Tommy about it and he said it was a great idea that we should actually consider. He even offered to get an SPXS chapel started soz we can merge it. God help me. Sometimes I … if it weren’t for the fact that he’s so efficient and keeps a lot of stuff off my tray table, I’d tell him I’m might need to him to be the vicar over at Jesus Happy Lamb and Friend… Faith Community. Yeah… it does sound kinda stupid come to think of it. Tommy calls it St Abusiva. Can’t say he’s wrong. But thatd fix his fashia for week or so.
Anyway, we bishops and drivers went to Razzo’s for a late lunch. Dozer demolished a plate of gnocchi so fast the waiter crossed himself. He gives me a run for my money.
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How about Mea Culpa Mea Culpa Mea Maxima Culpa as the name for the diocesan annual appeal?
Let’s see people write that on a check!
It is odd that parish mergers are done with so little planning and forward thinking. Suddenly, it seems as if out of the blue, a diocese discovers it is cash strapped and has to sell parish properties. It is also odd that each bishop has to reinvent the wheel when doing parish mergers: why cannot bishops learn from one another’s best practices in other dioceses?
+Atticus does not mention any of the abuse-related payments to settle lawsuits. Sooner or later someone will come up with legal action against +Atticus, for sure. Even relating to long-deceased members of his diocese.
Still no word from “Sell Half of the Inherited Treasures” church or the newly formed “Community of Reparation for Ancient Priviledge” parish?
Damn. I though my local parish had it bad when they sold off the priest’s house that had been bought with the hard work of generations of miners to ABSOLUTELY NOT pay for the lawsuits due to “naughty” priests.
Not sure what my point is here, just wanted to have fun. – and I appreciate that’s what most German bishops would currently say.
I love it when the Catholic Church purchases defunct Protestant churches.
They are like a blank canvas. Soon to be adorned with Catholic art, statues and Altar rails.