April 1st, 2026
Dear Diary,
I had a nasty little fright today. Finance thing. Worse, donor thing. Worst, Knights of Malta thing.
Turns out there were phone calls which Fr. Gilbert intercepted from a couple of the local Malta gents, the ones with the capes and the solemn faces and the checks with all those useful zeroes, are upset. Really upset. Something about Rome, tradition, disrespect, sovereignty, dignity, ancient privileges, yaddayadda. Usually when people in fancy uniforms start talking about “ancient rights” I tune out, but today I paid attention. Because money.
Apparently some knights in Rome are in a grand snit with the Pope over something or other. If this keeps up, we won’t be seeing the same support for the clinic, seminarians, cathedral roof, or anything else. They’ll take their checkbooks and go play crusades with someone else. I’m told the trads that broke away have a huge church over in Black Duck. I’ve gotta talk to Jude.
One thing after another. At a FMFH* in runs Chester who grabbed a donut off of Vice’s plate and trotted off. Fr. Gilbert ran after him, “Drop it, Chester!” It was the best part of the meeting.
Lunch helped. Since Good Friday is in a couple days and I’ll have to fast like one of the Desert Fathers, I fortified myself. Meatloaf with gravy, mashed potatoes, buttered carrots, two rolls, wedge salad, and a slice of coconut cream pie. Not huge. Moderate. Pentitential, even, given the circumstances. We’ll go to Razzo’s soon.
Fr. Tommy used to say at this time of year that fasting is easier if you prepare spiritually. I say it’s easier if you prepare caloricly.
Anyway, I need those Malta men to calm down. If they secede from Rome, fine, that’s above my pay grade. If they secede from Libville’s diocesan annual appeal, that’s personal.
(later)
Okay… I get it. Fr. T was on the phone about something er other with me tonight after I wrote … he told me that Knights thing was an April Fool joke. Fell for it. Dang. Could I call him back to the chancery? He’d come, of course. Fr. Gilbert walked right into it and then I did too.
*Finance Meeting From Hell
