June 23rd 2026
Dear Diary,
I’m still worn out from the meeting in Orlando. Damn its hot and humid there, not that I was out much. Still, all that time with endless talking, blah blah. The consecration thing was okay, but didn’t we do that before sometime?
Visited St. Mildred’s in Bellwether for the parish anniversary. Good lunch. Baked ham, potatoes with cheese, and three kinds of pie. I only tried two. Discipline.
Before Mass, three people asked me who the “new second priest” was. I told them I hadn’t sent anyone new and wondered what the VG had done without telling me. Again. Or maybe it was just a visitor? No, they said, he’s been here for several weeks. Decent guy, bald, glasses. Does pretty much everything Fr. Kevin does. They ment Kevin Muldoon.
Apparently the bald priest with glasses says the early Mass they just put on the schedule a while ago, especially for farmers and farm workers. Then, at the afternoon Mass, Fr. Kevin shows up. The new priest used the same vestments as Fr. Kevin. Same voice. Same homily, even same joke about the collection. Nobody knew his name. One lady thought he was a visiting mission preacher. Another said the two priests were brothers.
I asked Msgr. Tommy to investigate when he was at the chancery for something. We had lunch… Montecristo sandwiches. He stared at me for a long time and said, “It’s Fr. Kevin.”
“Which one?” “Both.”
Turns out Kevin is bald and he wears contacts. Who knew? In the morning he doesn’t bother with the rug and just wears his glasses. After the morning Mass he puts on a toupay. Tommy says he calls it “pastoral presentation” and it seems that the rug cost $1800 from some place in Chicago and that Kevin had the parish pay for it under evangelization expenses. I said that sounds creative. Tommy said it sounds like fraud.
Now that the word is getting out some wise guys at St, Mildred are requesting bulletin photographs for both priests. A guy on the parish council wants to call the early one “Father Kevin” and the later one “Father Kev.”
I suggested to Kevin that he has to pick one appearance. He asked which one. I said “whichever gets fewer complaints”.
Note: ask Finance if we can expense hair. I could get a rug – or some patches – for Chester.
mickeyfitz on Daily Rome Shot 1657 – new life: “Yes, it’s a great show, but with all due respect, is it truly appropriate for the beginning of the Holy…”
