Too too muchly stupid

This is one of the stupidest things I have seen for a while.

NRO picked up on something from HuffPo. HERE

Adverbs are, apparently, evil.

Adverbs: They’re hurting people. According to a piece in the Huffington Post, the word “too” is sexist and hurts women by constantly making them feel like they’re not good enough. In a piece titled “The 3-Letter Word That Cuts Women Down,” University of Vermont freshman Cameron Schaeffer explains that she had an “epiphany” about the word after talking with a friend about how she should cut her hair. “Our conversation ended with, ‘Well you don’t want it to be too short or too long,’” Schaeffer writes. “There is no proper way for a woman to cut her hair, let alone do anything right in this world . . . Everything is too this or too that,” she continues. Now, when she says “everything,” of course what she really means is “everything as it applies to women.” After all, the very real damage inflicted by this word is yet another tragedy that only affects us: “In my experience, I rarely hear too thrown around about men,” she explains. “You hear someone say, ‘He’s short,’ but you seldom hear ‘too short.’” (To be fair, I don’t really hear a male described as “Too Short” very often either, but kind feel like that’s probably just because he hasn’t released an album since 2012 and isn’t really on the scene as much as he used to be.) If you think Schaeffer’s reaction to the word “too” is crazy, don’t worry. She thinks it’s crazy, too — crazy that a “a well-versed feminist” like her didn’t realize that she needed to be outraged sooner: “I never realized how deeply a three-letter adverb could cut,” she writes. “My internal opinion is always that I’m too this or too that,” she continues. “I, like most women, have been deprived of self-satisfaction and appreciation because of this word and this attitude.”

[…]

Good grief. I lost 30 IQ points just reading that part. Don’t worry. I can spare them.

Here’s a writing assignment for you.

Give me a 100 word essay on feminists using as many adverbs as you can possibly pack in. I want it to ooze with adverbs, like the mozzarella I cut into yesterday oozed milk.

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About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

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32 Responses to Too too muchly stupid

  1. SpanishCatholic says:

    I don’t even know what to say to this. Just a minute ago I finished reading an article at the Daily Mail that the term “Hard Worker” is racist and now I see the word “too” is sexist! I guess the line of thinking at least in the DM article was if you call yourself or anyone else a hard worker and you obviously didn’t work as hard as the African slaves then you are intentionally mocking and make light of slavery and therefore you are racist.

  2. Wow …. Ha ha ha ha!!!! Fr Z this was the best laugh of my day! I’d give you the coveted gold star of today, if I could post one in this posting.

  3. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

    I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

  4. LarryW2LJ says:

    Some people definitely have too much time on their hands.

  5. Chuck3030 says:

    …which, of course, explains perfectly the nickname/call sign “Too Tall”, which only ever seems to be handed out to either boys or men…

  6. cowboyengineer says:

    I would say she is trying too, too hard to be politically correct but I read yesterday that the phrase politically correct is too sexist, too racist, too insensitive, and too triggering to be used in polite society.

  7. revueltos67 says:

    My own favorite clip for stuff like this…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPa5oVG-nII

  8. ckdexterhaven says:

    Can’t do 100 words, here’s a haiku

    Feminist loudly
    Hate men intentionally
    Carefully and well

  9. MWindsor says:

    You didn’t say whether or not the adverbs could be used as nouns, so I took the liberty:

    I’m literally brutally angry at the simplistically thoughtless men here – and somewhere – and everywhere! They are always oppressively oppressing me – constantly! – and getting into my uneasily and weirdly constructed personal realty that I strive so very hard to maintain! I have to go underground or outside the mainstream world, deep within my me-ness, just to feel cheerfully and wholeheartedly me! And me-ness is the beautifully wrought goal of my “lightly constructed life”. Even though I’m only twenty two, I ragefully know how horribly oppressed I truly am! So, to the sloppily and wickedly constructed men in my personal me-space – ENOUGH!

  10. Stevetop815 says:

    I’ve never seen a sillier confusion of cause and effect. It’s unbelievable this woman is in college!

    The inadequacy she is feeling about her characteristics is expressed by the word ‘too’ not caused by it! Sheesh!

  11. Art says:

    Following clip would be my best response:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQCU36pkH7c

  12. MonkChanan says:

    Why do Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs?
    They don’t want to be mistaken for feminists!

  13. TC says:

    For men ‘too’ is already built into the word ‘short’.

  14. oldconvert says:

    No wonder EOTT have been a bit quiet lately. First the Synod, now this “too”; they probably think real life is giving them too much competition (if that isn’t sexist. Or something.)

  15. crickally says:

    I am now taking applications for membership in the American Association of the Perpetually Offended and Permanently Victimized.

  16. Someone please be the Garrigue says:

    Here in the UK you have to be very careful because being too can get you locked up for “extremism”. I’ve already been cautioned for being too moderate…

  17. pannw says:

    On Feminists…

    Originally very pro-life and not too bossy*, the feminist movement was hijacked by fascists who earned the aptly descriptive title feminazis. Typically, these are unbearably brash women who act like rabidly angry shrews.

    While normal women blissfully embrace the dream of blessed family life, feminazis bitterly reject this.

    Oddly enough, feminazis can also be men, wholly lacking a faithfully formed Christian conscience and exhibiting unnaturally unmanly masculinity. Together, these woefully deluded people attack the foundations of society. Rejecting reason, they shrilly cry ‘SHUT UP!’, unable to honestly compete with, or tolerate the truth about their utterly warped worldview. Too bad…

    *threw that in because they tried to ban the word ‘bossy’ a while back…so her head should explode with ‘too bossy’. :)

  18. Grumpy Beggar says:

    “Too too muchly stupid”

    LOL.
    Okay , in gratitude of the laugh bestowed , I’ll bite (rather deeply) :
    ——————————————————————————

    Fortuitously coincidental : Why, it surely seems ’twas only yesterday that mostly of us had haplessly been so gracelessly elevated to the lofty designation of ”hater” . . . with nary a feminist living irritably among us. The very notion of radical feminism ever being totally devoid of mildly hating – even to a minimal degree, does verily conjure that imagery of incompatibility so aptly and eloquently portrayed by the snowball and Hades. As a Catholic, I really have no measurable trouble with my maleness – it truthfully is that two-letter word “me” which so perplexes, well , “me”.

    Can I get a “Me too“?

    (Or maybe that 4-letter word – AMEN)?

  19. The Cobbler says:

    Well, father, I think we all know what restores IQ and hasn’t been advertised on these pages in too long (I mean, if it’s not on the first page of posts, it’s been too long, right?)… I’ll give everyone a hint: it’s made by manly monks.

    I had the thought that you could just put “too” 98 times before “foolishly” and that before “said” or “written”. But I suppose that would be nothing like mozzarella. I also thought about digging ninety-nine adverbial synonyms for “foolishly”, “silly” and “uselessly” out of the Shakespearean Insult Generator for a similar but cheesier essay, but I’m not in college anymore and can no longer afford to spend all night on something amusing but needless like that.

    In all seriousness: If women are being viewed as not good enough in one way or another, doesn’t anyone realize it comes from treating them like objects? Don’t blame adverbs, blame the sexual revolution.

    Is programming sexist? ‘Cause I also have some nerdy humour to help raise IQ points. Java, C++, Python and C are in a meeting. Java asks, “How can we get more women to like us?” C++ replies, “We need to implement more exceptions!” Python opines, “We need to redefine our methods!” C answers, “Perhaps we should stop treating them like objects.” Java, of course, defenestrates C for this comment.

  20. The Cobbler says:

    P.S. I found these in the Shakespearean Insult Generator before giving up: “rascally” (ok, might be an adjective, but could probably be used as an adverb in a pinch) and “brainsickly” (actually, the quote itself — supposedly from MacBeth, though I don’t seem to have a specific location in the text — seems apropos: “You do unbend your noble strength, to think / So brainsickly of things.”).

  21. Choirgirl says:

    I think it’s crazy that as a non-feminist I didn’t realize that “too” is an adverb! :-O

  22. Choirgirl says:

    Pannw, I read an article yesterday concerning how Germaine Greer, the “mitochondrial Eve” of all feminists, stirred the pot by stating that male transexuals are men and not women, and they will never be women. Well, not only is she right in the sense of Natural Law, but also in terms of behavior, refering to them as “ghastly parodies.” I was amazed that more feminists don’t see this subject in the same way.

  23. cowboyengineer says:

    Choirgirl,

    I was forced to wade through MZ. Greer’s book in my college days and can honestly say that I don’t agree with any idea she ever spawned. Now I am forced to admit that she is correct in her views on male transsexuals. Having typed that, I must now go burn my fingertips with an iron.

  24. Scott W. says:

    Everyone ought to bookmark the satirical “Everything’s a Problem” blog: http://everythingsaproblem.tumblr.com/

  25. The Masked Chicken says:

    A seriatim list of feminist adverbs (and adjectives):

    Too grossly, girly, gangly, grouchily, giddily, gnarly, bonneted, buxomly, blabberingly, bickeringly, bewildered, bejinked, bewitched, castratingly, cock-a-hoop, contrarily, non-cenobitic, cookery, connivingly, cryingly, feintingly, flippantly, folderoling, fiddle-stickingly feminizing the feminine.

    The Chicken

  26. jltuttle says:

    Feminists will always have the “internal opinion” that they are “too this or too that” as long as they continue to deny the purpose for which God gave them their femininity.

  27. Quanah says:

    But, Father, don’t spare too many IQ points.

  28. Choirgirl says:

    cowboyengineer,
    Well said! lol!

  29. WYMiriam says:

    Forgive me, Father, for I have gone over the word limit (not counting the title and the footnote), nor have I made an essay — rather, I essayed a bit of doggerel . . . . I hope you enjoy it; I like to think that the adverbs start out oozingly, but wind up just water-fallingly.

    Feministas!

    They speak much too shrilly and think it’s just thrilly
    to be madly outrageous, outrageously mad,
    when faced with dilemmas too frilly!

    They march — oh, too badly, and wind up feeling sadly,
    when outnumbered by women so modest,
    who live — oh so gladly, and ever so rad’ly*
    against those who would be a god-est.

    Sometimes, acting proudly, or talking too loudly,
    they superficially palaver with others;
    or, preening glamorously, or even too amorously,
    they show up, improbably, as mothers!

    What shall we say of these sisters of ours, who, insanely, inanely,
    trickily, prickily, carelessly, ‘warelessly, shamefully, blamefully,
    aggravatingly, irritatingly, unintelligibly, peremptorily,
    are everlastingly, eternally, categorically, emphatically, too, too much!

    *contraction of “radically”

  30. Imrahil says:

    Well well well well (to do at least a bit of our rev’d host’s assignment),

    my dear feminists, there was once a time when you insisted to compete with the men in public and work-life, instead of being cherished as princesses (setting aside the fact that in the eras of supposed gentle oppression, women were equal partners in large parts of society, such as among the farmers).

    Well – you are now getting what you asked for.

    Where you’re wrong is supposing that the burden of steering between “too this” and “too that” has been laid by men on women. No. It has been laid by nature on all people; and when men offer to bear part of women’s share (not all, that is impossible), you turn us down.

    As an aside, what is in actual case very painful for especially young women, the “too big” vs. “too slim”, is, for the large majority of normal women, and entirely women-women affair, where men actually don’t say “too”.

  31. The Masked Chicken says:

    I used the adjective, cock-a-hoop, in my list, above (maybe appropriate for a chicken?). Has anybody ever heard this word, before? I first heard it on an episode of the old black-and-white Outer Limits called, A Feasibility Study. Sigh, there used to be such a larger vocabulary used in the old days. Today, we are reduced to a metaphysical study of the word, too.

    Oh, and what about women being too kind, too loving, to humble? Only a feminist would give this paper any grade higher than a C.

    The Chicken

  32. WYMiriam says:

    Why, certainly, The Chicken!

    “Swagger it, swagger it, my cock-a-hoop!” — one of ruffians, as quoted by J.R.R. Tolkien, in “The Scouring of the Shire”, in _The Lord of the Rings_

    But I don’t suppose the feministas would appreciate having that particular book quoted here — the number of women mentioned in it is too few for their tastes!