Four Cardinals Ask Francis To Clarify IKEA Instructions

ikea3From the often amusing EOT:

Four Cardinals Ask Francis To Clarify IKEA Instructions

elling the press today that instructions of Pope Francis’ IKEA gift to them had numerous inconsistencies, four cardinals wrote a letter to him asking that he “resolve the uncertainties and bring clarity to the instruction manual for the armchair.”
“We the undersigned, but also many bishops and priests, ask that you provide the correct interpretation to page three of the IKEA instructions for your AMÖRIS Armchair gift,” the cardinals wrote.
They went on to add that “both theologians and scholars have proposed interpretations” of how to put the armchair together, especially its third and fourth pages, “which contradict one another.”
“Compelled by our pastoral frustrations over this hastily written instruction pamphlet, and desiring to put this chair together once and for all, that faithful visitors may sit upon it, we, with profound respect, ask you, Holy Father, as Supreme Teacher of Construction, called to confirm his brothers in the build, to resolve the uncertainties and to bring clarity to these vague images of nuts, bolts, and other material that we cannot distinguish.”
A foreword to the letter states that the main issue regarding the instruction manual is that the legs of the armchair shown in the instructions in page five were not included in the box, giving the chair “no legs to stand on.”

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12 Responses to Four Cardinals Ask Francis To Clarify IKEA Instructions

  1. jbpolhamus says:

    There is a report on AkaCatholic.com that Francis has responded in part definitely, and with typical non-reponses.

    https://akacatholic.com/breaking-francis-responds-to-the-dubia/

  2. ghp95134 says:

    I remember the poiuyt” from MAD Magazine in the 1960s … but this is the first time I’ve seen the matching nuts. Okayyyyyy … now I see the “Escher-bracket.”

    http://www.moillusions.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/illusion_fork_3.jpg

    –Guy

  3. Venerator Sti Lot says:

    Did Escher design Möbius Nuts? But there’s a lot of Nutsy activity around these days…

  4. Serviam says:

    LOL.

    That last line is priceless.

    Thanks. I needed that.

  5. Poustinik1 says:

    Thank you Fr. Z. Just how did you know we needed a belly laugh. Haven’t been to IKEA for over a decade and appreciate the confirmation that this was a wise decision. If anyone is not familiar with what IKEA furniture is like-just visit your nearest garage sale.

  6. Traductora says:

    Love it! Especially the last line.

    Having put together a lot of IKEA furniture in my lifetime, I can say that the big difference is that IKEA actually wants you to be able to do it, whereas Francis really is fine with having the legs on backwards or missing altogether.

  7. MrsMacD says:

    “AMÖRIS” clever
    I imagine Kaspar is insisting that the chair goes upside down and is encouraging everyone else to put their chairs in the same mode as his. After all legs are so rigid!

  8. jazzclass says:

    Francis says that IKEA furniture building varies by the builder. Try telling that to someone like me, who’s chair looks like a lopsided bookshelf.

  9. pseudomodo says:

    Obviously an act of the Möbiusterium!

    [Well played.]

    Fr. Z's Gold Star Award

  10. Semper Gumby says:

    Venerator: Agreed- nutty indeed. Apt diagram of Escher up there in Fr. Z’s post. Though for paintings, besides the classics, I’ve always been partial to the landscape paintings of the Hudson River School.

    p.s. pseudomodo’s “Mobiusterium.” That is great.

  11. Godisgood says:

    Thanks for this link. Sobering reading!

  12. Godisgood says:

    jbpolhamus: Thanks for this link. Sobering reading!