Columnist for Fishwrap? Reader of online column at Fishwrap? Either way it probably involves the Fishwrap.
Do you pray before using the Internet? It might be a good idea. Aside from the dangers for custody of the eyes and from reading horrible soul-annihilating things at Fishwrap (et alibi), there are matters of time expenditure and prideful personal exchanges, not to mention mistreatment of others.
We pray before we eat (taking things in). We pray before we study (taking things in). Internet use?
Years ago I wrote a prayer that is pretty well known now. I have quite a few language versions of it posted (I’m always looking for more, along with native speaker recordings).
I just looked at the page and took a moment to review the extremely amusing Roman dialect version along with its recording by The Great Roman™. It’s a hoot. (Yes, prayers can be fun.) There is also Klingon, but I am told that the Klingon is not very good. So far the Klingon “expert” (if there are such critters) hasn’t offered anything better. I’m open.
Here are the two “originals”.
LINGUA LATINA
LISTEN
Oratio ante colligationem in interrete:
Omnipotens aeterne Deus, qui secundum imaginem Tuam nos plasmasti et omnia bona, vera, et pulchra, praesertim in divina persona Unigeniti Filii Tui Domini nostri Iesu Christi, quaerere iussisti, praesta, quaesumus, ut, per intercessionem Sancti Isidori, Episcopi et Doctoris, in peregrinationibus per interrete, et manus oculosque ad quae Tibi sunt placita intendamus et omnes quos convenimus cum caritate ac patientia accipiamus. Per Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.
ENGLISH
LISTEN
A prayer before logging onto the internet:
Almighty and eternal God, who created us in Thine image and bade us to seek after all that is good, true and beautiful, especially in the divine person of Thine Only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, grant, we beseech Thee, that, through the intercession of Saint Isidore, Bishop and Doctor, during our journeys through the internet we will direct our hands and eyes only to that which is pleasing to Thee and treat with charity and patience all those souls whom we encounter. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
And don’t forget….
Loading ...
Thank you Father for the prayer. It will get posted by the timer that I also use. Personal time is 30 minutes. Then off. Otherwise hours spent going down rabbit holes of Catholic sites and Facebook.
A possible second verse could refer to the Old Testament style “smoting” of online trolls, while combining perfect mercy (properly understood) with perfect justice (not subjected to recent redefinition attempts, as far as I know).
Thank you Father for your gifts of all that is edifying in these seemingly apocalyptic days. You certainly help us keep our eye on the prize day in and day out. Your energy, stamina, zeal and holiness are a salve to so much degradation around us. God bless and keep you safe.
Also, keep a Miraculous Medal permanently affixed to your computer. “Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee.”
[Good idea. I’ve heard stories from exorcists about what demons can do to electronics.]
It’s always nice to find a non-liturgical prayer written in the venerable style of a Collect… but from Fr. Z, what else could I expect? :-)
Are or have there ever been any holy cards with this prayer, perhaps with an image of St. Isidore on the other side? That would seem to require or at least call for the approbation of a bishop, right?
I know that, for myself, having such a card would increase the chance of me making use of this prayer and of remembering to pray when accessing the Net generally as well.
[Some dioceses have done that, I believe, though not in English… yet.]
Unfortunately reading this a day or two late. I got into a Facebook battle with some atheists who posted the usual adolescent “religious people are sooo stoopid” meme. I have tried my best to be charitable. Anyone ever notice how dogmatic and rigid atheists are?
I’m the one who wrote the Klingon translation. I based it off of information from the Klingon Language Institute and the Klingon Bible Translation Project. Unless the person who called my translation, “not very good,” is the originator of the language (Marc Okrand), then you must tell me who this petaQ (or P’takh) is so that I may convince him, otherwise (smiling and baring beak).
The Chicken