From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 2019-02-21 – New personal stationary

Dear Diary,

June 21st, 2023

The new personalized notes that Mrs. Kennedy ordered for me a couple of month ago arrived today. Finally!  So classy!  Cards and envelopes and a tear-off pad. Fr. Tommy worked with me on it because I wanted something from the Bible but with real oomph.  When is Fr. Tommy coming back, I wonder?  Gotta get a date on paper.  Fr. Gilbert drives okay and he is a good golfer and there are fewer problems with Chester when he is here but there’s something about him that grates my cheese.  From day one there has been a stream of cookies and pies sent up from the gals all over the office – that’s not bad since I get a lot.  But, it’s all the special attention.  And Chester just sorta goes limp.

The notes are nice white paper with a bit of a grain and the lettering is bright gold. My names on the top with a plus sign or a cross, I guess. The sides are decorated with a doohickey like tubes or sticks wrapped up in a cord.  I have the sense of seeing them before somewhere. Rome maybe?  I thought it might be spaghetti but something sticks out of the side. Anyway, its classy!   Orlando?  I know I’ve seen it.

Anyway, Fr. Tommy did a great job.  I said I wanted a nice Latin inscription at the bottom. He was overjoyed.  I made him happy. It’s the little things.  I told him to choose it.  It looks great. It says, I copied it down, “Quod Scripsi Scripsi”. More class yet!  Why it has that word twice I don’t know.  I asked Fr. Gilbert.  He just shrugged and dimpled and went back to shaking Chester’s head by the ears saying it over and over in baby talk.  If anyone else tried that with Chester, they’d get a new face.   Dang, even that bugs me.   Was it a typo?  Nah.  Tommy’s super accurate with writing stuff.  Anyway, who’s gonna know?  But it looks great!