From “The Private Diary of Bishop F. Atticus McButterpants” – 03-01-25 – Chewrows

Editor’s Note:

The “mole” had to made a trip to the native place for family reasons, so the diary entries were not forthcoming.  “Nemo dat quod non got!”  In this entry, to jog your memory, Fr. Ernesto is pastor of the big “Hispanic” parish on the west side of Libville.  Libville is a suffragan see of Red Bird where Archbp. John “Jack” Daniels was.  He was given the heave-ho by the “Noonch”.  We don’t have entries about that, but I’ll try to tease them out from the mole.  SnT is “Spirit and Truth” Cathedral.  More on the name HERE

Jan 3rd, 2025

Dear Diary,

I’m pretty proud of myself today. I had a doctor’s check up and I’ve only gained 8 pounds over the Christmas season. With all the cookies and cakes and special dinners, I’da thought it would be more the way my belt has been shrinking! The hardest ones were those pastoral visits for the Hispanics. Something about their dishes! Okay, heartburn, but totally worth it. We had a thing at Fr Ernesto’s again. There’s this crunchy thing called a … chewrow? Sounds like something for Chester, but they’re great.  cinnamony. They sent me home with big ziplocks full which Fr. Gilbert showed me in the back of the car. I made him take some. No wonder only 8! I’m so strict. I wonder if Chester will like them. You never know with him.  Chew toy, chair leg, DOZER’s leg all the same to him.  Gotta stay on my “diet” after all.

Fr. Tommy has been on me to make a decision about the request from four priests – what the hell is going on? – to put altar rails into their churches. Tommy says yes. Vice says no. The gal in the liturgy office says no, of course. The annoying people at the tribunal are dragging their feet about it. I don’t even want to bring it up to the presbyterial council, cause they’ll have a fit and it’ll take all day. Fr. Tommy’s arguments for yes are pretty good. He says that it would make more people happy than angry, and there are always lots of angry people but not so many happy so it’s a good thing. And he says lots of people want to kneel for Communion again now, and having a rail is a good thing for “insurance purposes”. I don’t know if that’s just Tommy being clever or not, but it sounds right. “You don’t want old ladies falling over!” They’re the one’s who make the most noise if they don’t like things. What to do? I know that Cardinal over in… where was it? Iowa Illinois doesn’t like them and you gotta watch out for those guys. Look what they did to Jack Daniels over in Red Bird!  Don’t want to give that Cardinal or the Noonch anything to bitch about.  These days.

We have another Hispanic do coming up on Epiphany which is bigger deal for them than for us as I get it.  But they have special foods, so that’ll be good.  We’re doing it at SnT.

NOTE: check when is Ash Wednesday