The remedy for those profoundly annoying commercialized Valentine’s Day garbage guilt commercials.
From FoxNews with my emphases and comments.
Name a Giant Hissing Cockroach After Your Valentine
“Flowers wilt. Chocolates melt. Roaches are forever.”
Ambitious Romeos looking to differentiate themselves from the typical diamonds, roses, and chocolates are in luck. The Bronx Zoo is offering a one-of-a-kind Valentine’s Day gift — naming a gigantic hissing cockroach after a loved one.
The unique light-hearted gift, though gag-worthy, has deeper meaning to coincide with its shock value. The zoo’s famous Madagascar hissing cockroaches are part of an award-winning Zoo habitat that also includes lemurs, crocodiles, and many other unique species. [Hey! It’s green, too! What’s not to like?]
With a simple online form, each $10 gift comes with a colorful e-card sent to your loved one — or favorite ex-girlfriend, bestowing upon them not only the honor of having a cute, loveable cockroach named after them, but also the satisfaction of knowing that the proceeds will go to the Wildlife Conservation Society, which helps save wildlife and wild places around the world. [Awwwww!]
“They’re extraordinary, which means if you’re cool about bugs, they’re really cool,’ a spokesman for the Wildlife Conservation Society, told FoxNews.com. “We’ve got about 50 or 60 thousand in a hollowed out tree.” [What gal could resist that?]
Madagascar hissing cockroaches are the world’s largest roach species reaching nearly four-inches long. The hissing noise they make is a natural defense mechanism. [Rather like the sound a vase makes in that last moment before it strikes the wall next your head.]
“Nothing says forever like a cockroach,” said Jim Breheny, Senior Vice President for Living Institutions and Director of the Bronx Zoo. “They are resourceful, resilient, and have been around for hundreds of millions of years. [The gift that keeps on giving.]
PHOTO OF YOUR COCKROACH HERE.
Did you know that in Roman dialect “cockroach” is the nickname for a priest? Bet you didn’t know that. Just some roach-lore for your Sunday relaxation.