Check all the pockets before you wash clothes.
No. Really.
[CUE MUSIC]
It also helps to have lot’s of hot Mystic Monk Coffee. This morning I was listening to Bill Bennett’s radio show – and doing laundry – and in the first hour Dr. Bennett was talking about Mystic Monk Coffee! It seems the Wyoming Carmelites sent some to them. Bennett talked about them through the morning and even played a clip of Gregorian chant… between the Gorden Lightfoot tunes.
FWIW, the Monks seem still to be selling a lot of their Pascha Java. Perhaps the word “bourbon” in the description has something to do with its popularlity?
Or tea! It makes great sun tea. It looks like Earl Gray is trending right now.
It’s swell!
(Today I am using my “Save The Liturgy” mug.)
Let me guess, Father… stray Kleenex bits all over your cassock?
I have already learnt this. What I need tips about is how to get rid of that darn sock troll!
Catholicofthule: sock troll
One of the great mysteries of our cosmos.
Ah, yes.
With a son inclined to collect things slimy, pointy, and alive or recently so, and a daughter using her pockets for general storage, I learned this in the School of Hard Knocks.
I know who my Sock Troll is . . . it’s my third Labrador retriever, who LIVES to steal socks, carry them away to her den, and mother them.
One laundry day, a sock troll put one small, red, toddler’s sock in with all the whites. Well, we had pink napkins, pink underwear for all sexes, pink towels. I still do not know what happened to the second small red sock….
PS Especially check for Gel pens….
Don’t worry, Fr. Z, we are already in the habit. As it says in the adage, “It all comes out in the wash.”
And always remember tablecloths for birthday candles.
*sigh* I put my cell phone through the wash once because I didn’t know it was in my pockets. It was toast afterwards. I’ve put numerous drivers licences through the wash too. You’d think my province would get with the times and move away from the two-piece paper/plastic licence.
I am always so careful about that, but somehow about a month ago I missed a tissue.
They’re such small things, yet they manage to get all over everything.
And the sock troll struck recently as well; I had thought I was rid of it.
Supertradmum, Been there, done that.
Recently I washed a rib-knit black cardigan sweater with a Kleenex in the pocket. I’m still trying to pick all the bits out to render it wearable again. Sigh. Should’ve had more coffee before I did the laundry, I guess.
My roomate washed my rugby practice kit and left my mouth-guard in a pocket, had to buy a new one on the way to a match. He checked al my pockets before washing the blood out of my kit after while I was in the hospital after my last match (dislocated my hip and chipped the socket on some very horrid astroturf; seven screws, two clips, I will be back next season)
Thankfully my wife checks. As to the coffee, right now we are enjoying the coffee of the month, the Ethiopian Yergachaffe; it’s swell. Oh and having it in my Oremus Pro Pontifice mug.
You haven’t lived until you have had a crayon go through the dryer.
A tube of red lipstick in a dryer full of clothes was the worst we’ve had.
I sincerely hope it wasn’t something valuable like a phone or mp3 player that went into the wash.
How about running over your cell phone with a snow blower? They really travel when blasted out of the chute! (Hubby, not me! It was his company phone, to boot!) Sorry if I have gone off track – back to the laundry tales.
Fr Z, sock trolls are explained by multiverse theory. They (as well as ducks when you are out hunting them) are capable of traveling between universes parallel universes.
Theodore,
THAT explains the affinity between Labradors and socks — they practice on the socks so as to be ready for the ducks.
Although my oldest Lab prefers my work gloves . . . and she is the one who flushed a mallard out of a 20′ long, 18″ steel culvert and ran all the way through in pursuit, emerging muddy but unbowed at the opposite end (and thankfully “whoaing” long enough for my partner to dispatch the mallard before retrieving it).
Work gloves have never gone through the wash, but just about everything else has at one time or another (including sharpies, red flannel sock in the whitewash, and a phone though thankfully an old cheap one).
I have vast experience removing stains from crayons that have gone through the washer and dryer, but I’m guessing your problem isn’t crayons, Father… :)
The other day I left my wallet in the back pocket of my jeans then washed them. Don’t do that.
Re Jenny’s comment on dryers and crayons: You haven’t lived till your kids leave a box of crayons on top of a heater vent…
Craig,
“GIVE BLOOD – PLAY RUGBY”
sock troll?…. try and clean out the conduit/vent hose from your dryer. You may find some errant sockage there!
The sock troll strikes at least twice a month here…
I will never forget the time when I bought what I thought was laundry detergent and used it to do laundry…then I realized it wasn’t detergent but fabric softener.
=P
Ah yes, the ghostly remains of the forgotten Kleenex are one of those things you learn to remember.
I have also done the brand-new red Gel pen in a load of whites, and black is just as bad…
The crayon (green, I believe) also happened once upon a time.
Growing up in a large family one learns that money washes remarkably well.
The iPod that went through 4 months ago just got its second life back. (Murphy’s Law: When all else fails hit it with a hammer.)
The cheap Leatherman that went through a couple of years ago and came out in 53 pieces is favorite.
Not only does lipstick not like to wash off, it likes to spread the wealth too…
FYI, those sticky 3M lint/dog hair rollers work wonders on getting Kleenex remains off clothing.
APX: Good tip!
If we may digress, there was the unforgettable time as a newlywed when I ran out of laundry detergent and figured dish soap would work as well. The machine was a front-loader in our tiny kitchen and the foam billowed out all over the place. An I Love Lucy episode could have been based on it.
I saw that happen once when a visitor loaded the dishwasher. Hijinx ensued.
crayons – check, pens – check , red cloth with the whites – check. Hidden pack of gum that stayed inside my son’s pocket and made it through the wash all the way to the dryer – check.
~try getting all the goo off the inside of the dryer ..
@Janine
I accidentally put a Bic pen through the wash in my parents’ brand new fancy washer and dryer about 8 years ago, and the black ink is still smeared all over the inside of the dryer. Ooooh, I caught heck for that one. Sadly, I wasn’t banned from doing laundry, heh.