From a deacon…
Anyway my main reason for contacting you regards the 5.11 Clericals. I was recently ordained a Transitional Deacon for the Diocese ___. [Congratulations.] I am very interested in having a clerical shirt that I can play laser tag in and not worry about ripping, [Aren’t we all?] but I have absolutely no competence with tailoring or anything that involves arts and crafts, so to speak. Would it be possible for me to buy a 5.11 Clerical from you? [?!?] My size is XL and my neck is 17. If the shirt could be compatible with the plastic slide tab, that would be ideal, so that I could easily stow it in a pocket while playing a game in black light. [Yes. I can see where that might be a tactical disadvantage.] I will take what I can get, however, if the wraparound linen collar is the only option. [More on that below!]
I’m willing to pay you to compensate for the cost of the shirt, shipping, and what you feel is a fair price for labor. My current location for the summer is …
He is talking about these. HERE Tactical clerical garb for the serious priestly culture warrior and foe of Satan’s minions.
Okay… is this one of these St. Martin of Tours moments?
So, my responses is… Reverend Mister X, I’m not your tailor and I’m not your FedEx guy.
Here’s what you do!
1) Buy your shirts using this link. Long sleeve HERE and short sleeve HERE with helpful concealed carry pockets (for, say… a Roman Ritual or something else). Great pants for the tactical cleric HERE (mag pouch useful for stole, oil stock and rosary or… a spare mag). HINT: You will want more than one, eventually. Believe me. … I mean both 5.11 shirts and spare mags!
2) Find a shirt in your closet which has the collar that you eventually want your 5.11 to be like.
3) Take them both to a neighborhood tailor shop. Show them to the tailor or seamstress. Say: “Make this one look like that one.” It shouldn’t cost too much. Leave the shirt which is the model for the 5.11’s eventual outcome. Don’t forget to show how the collar works and leave it.
4) Pick up your new tactical clerical shirts when they are ready.
5) Contact 5.11 Customer Support and tell them that they should have taken Fr. Zuhlsdorf seriously when he wanted to discuss an option for clerics. It could be good publicity for them.
That’s the best way.
As far as the tab collar is concerned… I hope you know the prophecy that, at the end of days, the Lord will try to pull priests into heaven by their collars. Those with a tab collar on at that moment… well… as the Lord’s finger hooks in, the tab will slip out. Thus, the hapless priest will fall back into the void, the long drop to Hell, with the diminishing scream, “But I usually wear the cassoooooock…..”
Yes, I know that most priests wear them now. Even the undersigned does once in a while. Just so you know, my young Padawan, what you are getting into with that tab thingy.
BTW… I am in my clerical 5.11s right now as I type, including boots. And if the Lord hooks my collar… BANG … straight to heaven! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.