I woke up this morning and had an epiphany from the Holy Spirit- I’m an ass. I don’t want to be one anymore, so I would like to confess this and amend my life ASAP.
One problem. I don’t really know how to confess this. While “ass” used in this way is a completely legitimate usage according to the dictionary, I doubt I can just tell my confessor “I’ve been an ass in thought, word, and deed for the past several months now“.
What’s a good way of confessing this?
Well… that’s what I call a great start! Refreshing.
Confessors like direct talk, free of obfuscation and verbiage (for those of you in Columbia Heights, that’s “just say it and be brief”.
The best way you can start to convey that you have been an ass, is to make your good, complete confession, in direct language, concisely, revealing all your mortal sins in both kind and number.
Then, if there is no one in line, or if you have made an appointment before hand, you might make a “general confession”, especially considering the really big things of the past. Be brief. You don’t have to go into a lot of detail.
And don’t be mulish about confessing everything.
Then, at the end, ask for a penance, absolution, and then say that you will amend your life. “Amend your life” is another way of saying that you realize that you have been an ass that that you are not going to be an ass anymore, any kind of an ass, a sinning jackass – never again, quod Deus averruncet!
I end with the admonition to every single reader of this entry to stop being unrepentant asses and…
GO TO CONFESSION.