ZUHLIO RETURNS! “Fifty Ways To Rig A Synod”

zuhlio-50-ways-to-rig-a-synod3It is my pleasure to release here the super ultra exclusive new hit from the always backward-looking performance artist Zuhlio!

With the disturbing foreknowledge that the organizing office of the Synod of Bishops was going to change the rules and procedures yet again, the artist Zuhlio teamed up with the legendary T. Ferguson (whose initials are strangely similar to those of this blog’s official parodohymnodist Fr. Tim Ferguson).

You will recall some of Zuhlio’s previous hits, which you no doubt hum to yourselves even now.  Who can forget Where Have All the Sisters Gone?  Zuhlio_sisters_coverHow about “Lady Tambourine Priest”?  How about his even bigger hit song from his urban rapper phase “Aging Hippie Paradise”.


About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
This entry was posted in Classic Posts, HONORED GUESTS, Liberals, Lighter fare, Linking Back, Parody Songs, Synod and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. murtheol says:

    Me and Zuhlio down by the…..synodyard…????

  2. Amerikaner says:

    Generally unflappable, the upcoming Synod scares the crap out of me.

  3. ChrisRawlings says:

    Yeah, thinking about the synod has actually worsened my sleep lately. It feels almost surreal that what is happening is happening.

    On the bright side, there are at least fifty ways to NOT take a blowtorch to the Church’s moral and sacramental theology. If faithful bishops figure out even a few of them then this month may be alright. I only pray that God allows that to be so.

  4. rwj says:

    Francis’ Vatican seems to be producing a sequel to “12 Angry Men.”

    We have a soundtrack.

  5. OrthodoxChick says:

    Well, between the aftermath of the papal visit and the run-up to this synod, I guess it’s laugh or cry these days (when not praying feverishly, of course). I’m grateful to Zuhlio for the laugh at a time like this. I desperately need it!

    Zuhlio is so coolio – his tunes are Hagan Lio -io!!!

    Ah, don’t think I’m quite ready for the parodohymnodal big leagues just yet. Time to go spin some Zuhlio’s golden oldies.

  6. Traductora says:

    Loved it! Especially, “it’s the Africans’ fault, Walt, they just don’t get our gestalt…”

  7. Kathleen10 says:

    On the heels of the Vatican breaking it’s own neck to deny Kim Davis was met, or if she WAS met, it’s because Pope Francis didn’t comprehend who he was meeting, or if he did comprehend who he was meeting, it was just a meeting with a whole roomful of people, and if there wasn’t a whole room full of people….
    I actually have questions about who is in charge in the Vatican.

    I needed this! Nice job, Fr’s T and Z.

  8. Back pew sitter says:

    Inspired tune and lyrics. Thanks Zuhlio!

    “It’s the Africans’ fault Walt
    They don’t get our Gestalt.”

    Love it.

    For me, it’s gallows humour. What is happening nowadays is so sad. I guess smiling is better than crying.

  9. MikeM says:

    Another great Zhulio tune. When will his music be issued on vinyl? Because, you know, sound matters!

  10. xsosdid says:

    Well played, Zuhlio, well played

  11. Sonshine135 says:

    Casey Kasem voice on

    Now, with our #1 hit in the Traditional Catholic charts, its Zuhlio with “50 Ways to Rig a Synod”

    Casey Kasem voice off

  12. MrsMacD says:

    God bless you Father Z!

    St. Francis de Sales perscribes singing as a remedy to sadness, so this is timely.

    Don’t get depressed and don’t be blue ’cause Zuhlio is gonna sing fer you!
    Don’t get upset and don’t you fret he hasn’t caused a scandal yet!
    He’ll sing about the state we’re in since the world has embraced a life of sin.
    He’ll make you slap your knee and sigh for the aweful things he does descry.
    Zuhlio will make you smile when you think the church is done,
    ’cause Zhulio sees in the words of God when He sent His only Son,
    that He’ll be with us ’till the end of time,’ and so when things look rough, sing a sing a long song, and hold on to your hats, for whatever happens and whoever riggs the gig, God gets the last laugh and He’s in charge, and the Devil’s just dancing a jig.

  13. Auggie says:

    A skillful, clever parody, well done.
    And yet I’m not able to laugh today…
    The news of the world and the news of the weird (church) is too sobering.
    Saints and Angels, defend us in battle.

    [Battles are fought on many levels. Lighten up or you’ll be trapped in your angst ridden paralysis.]

  14. jameeka says:

    Zuhlio is a hot ticket! Thanks!

  15. comedyeye says:

    Will you be opening for the Basilica Boys? And I hear the Apostolic Angels
    are looking for backup work. If you can work this into a tango Pope Francis will dance to it. Then he can be invited onto Dancing With the Stars. His (opposite sex) partner will be Kim Davis.

  16. Dr Guinness says:

    This was hilarious. Well done.

  17. Pingback: 50 Ways to Rig a Synod | The American CatholicThe American Catholic

  18. Mariana2 says:

    ROFL. Much better than ROFCrying.

  19. benedetta says:


  20. pray4truth says:

    ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ????

  21. pray4truth says:

    oops, my emoji’s of clapping and praying, then more clapping only came through as question marks :-\

  22. majuscule says:


    We will not take that as any form of supernatural sign!

  23. Choirgirl says:

    murtheol: “Me and Zuhlio Down By the Schoolyard,” that peon to catholic education and the Land o’ Lakes Conference, is on the B-side of “Where Have All the Sisters Gone,” which was recorded during the college concert event at Notre Dame.

    Those nuns sure can whistle!

  24. CharlesG says:

    He should have worked in a line about stealing the books.

  25. adriennep says:

    Ha ha! I actually thought Zuhlio was the new Catholic Allan Sherman and was looking for those links to buy his complete set on iTunes (though vinyl preferred). I mean, that Top 40 wit, lyrics you can dance to, and look at that cover art!

    Sadly, I’ll have to catch up with his career otherwise.

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