ASK FATHER: “I am in need of confession and I feel to embarrassed to speak to my church face to face.”

Posted on 2 February 2023 by Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

From a reader…

QUAERITUR:

Hello Father , I am in need of confession and I feel to embarrassed to speak to my church face to face. I am asking for a chance to rid myself of these thorns that won’t go away. I need help Father.

Try to find a parish church where there is an old fashioned confession with a barrier or screen.  That way the priest will not see you and you can be anonymous.  Even if you have to drive to another town.  Perhaps you could ask other Catholic friends if they know such a church.  And, you can call the parish office and ask about the kind of confessional they have.

Please make the effort.  You will be greatly relieved!

And remember this always.  Don’t be afraid to say embarrassing things while confessing.  The priest won’t think badly of you, or think you are a jerk or weird.  He will admire your courage and sincerity.  The best way to handle this is simply to blurt it out, just say it, concisely and with no embellishments.  Just say it.

Many others have been in your situation.  Go to confession.

Meanwhile…

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

Fr. Z is the guy who runs this blog. o{]:¬)
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5 Comments

  1. Nicholas Shaler says:
    2 February 2023 at 3:36 PM

    As usual, an excellent reminder. But I comment to thank you for the link to the very good video. I have watched it before, and its testimony is both very moving and quite edifying.

  2. Lurker 59 says:
    2 February 2023 at 5:04 PM

    My methodology to deal with such situations has been to confess at parishes that I don’t attend and to do the Confession kneeling on the floor facing away from the priest.

    Also, I’ve stuck similar things to “Fear of looking foolish has kept me from going to Confession as soon as possible” at the top of my confession list. Confessing what is keeping one from going to confession (even if venial) really really helps as it is giving that disordered thought over to Christ for forgiveness and healing.

  3. monstrance says:
    2 February 2023 at 5:38 PM

    A friend once said – “ Aren’t you concerned that the priest recognizes your voice in the Confessional ? “
    I’ve reached the place in life where I really don’t care.

  4. retiredtobedlam says:
    3 February 2023 at 9:18 AM

    I believe that Francis is considering allowing you to fax them in (he is little behind the times, but in his defense, it is the authentic way that the Spirit of Vatican II would dictate.) I could be mistaken about it, in the spirit of Vatican II, of course.

  5. APX says:
    3 February 2023 at 10:51 AM

    I just speak in my chest voice to not be recognized. Priests assume I’m a man and encourage me to consider the priesthood.

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